Wednesday, December 11, 2013

snow day

I am an outdoor girl,
woven into the wind and weather like warp and weft.
December knows my name and has wrapped herself around me--
she sends me seven chills in sequence,
each seeking a deeper place in the bone.

Today I was a lucky leaf, 
brown but blown under a doorway into sanctuary.
Even so, I had to sit on my feet to keep them still;
it was only icy roads and weariness that kept me indoors,
and my coffee was only half the comfort I thought it would be--
I didn't know what to do with the day
the way I know what to do with dark.

A friend called. She said, you needed to rest.
She said the errands can wait, like the hardy crows you consider sisters.
She's right, and her kindness made me smile
but ten minutes later I was swaying in front of the window again
as if I were one of the small bare trees on the other side.

Where are you today, my love?
Where is your voice, the only thing that can calm me when I get this way?
December is here, and knows my name,
but it isn't at all the same as when I hear it spoken from your lips--
no matter what you say to me,
you warm me as nothing else can.
Today I missed you from the moment I woke up;
I stood in a day that should have been a blessing,
watching the snow fall and shivering like a girl who hadn't expected to be alone.



hedgewitch said...

Lots of clean images and simple phrasing in this to love, and the mood of looking out the window at the life one at least thinks one wants,the one that's always calling, always more interesting than the same safe four walls. I love this moody winter's tale, Shay.

TexWisGirl said...

absolutely beautiful and so much imagery. loved it.

Helen said...

This is delicious. .. fembible! Where do we buy a copy?

ellen abbott said...

This is two pieces. The last paragraph is its own. Not that I am criticizing the creator. Just how I read them.

HermanTurnip said...

Ahh, the desires of the soul in the midst of autumn. Very beautiful!

Sherry Blue Sky said...

I so know the feeling. This is beautiful and poignant to read, and I know that restlessness well, that only one person can ease.

Anonymous said...

Shay, first off - you left THE most amazing comment on the homeless poem at my blog. The BEST.

About this poem - lingering, dreamy, the leaf, the lightness of it all. The line, "December knows my name," can be taken in so many ways. For me, it's knowing the chilliest times in life are the most normal for me...

The final stanza was a heartbreaker. I loved it, the whole piece. BRILL. Amy

Cloudia said...

"Hadn't expected to be alone"

You are a gushing font

from Honolulu
Comfort Spiral
=^..^= <3
> < } } ( ° >

Marcoantonio Arellano said...

I feel ya! lovely!


Grandmother (Mary) said...

I'm one, too- in my case a January girl. I've lived that itchy gypsy life- on the east coast, mid west and west coast as well as the Caribbean and Italy. But it's only one who says my name such that I am home.

Marion said...

Hello, December girl. I'm a July girl, sister of the moon. Another awesome write, Shay. You trill delicately like the winter birds singing on my frostbitten lawn. xo

Mama Zen said...

Honestly, I'm too blown away by this to even begin to comment. The mood of damp chill and waiting and longing; it's just perfect.

Sara said...

I absolutely loved the words "Today I was a lucky leaf, brown and blown under a doorway into sanctuary." These words create such a great imagery.

Ah, but the ending was piercing. I read it several times and each time,it made me shiver as well, especially "Today I missed you from the moment I woke up..." I know I've felt that feeling of being haunted by loss.

Lolamouse said...

"December knows my name" is such a gorgeous combination of words! I'm going to be chanting it all day!

Printer issues at work-spent WAY too many hours there trying to fix it! I'm going to try to set aside some time to write this weekend.

BTW, me too on the coffee and sweats!

Sioux's Page said...



Buddah Moskowitz said...

You capture desolation perfectly.

I remember a Rickie Lee Jones album inner sleeve she included a copy of the fan letter she received with the request for a picture smiling, and she included the smiling picture. It was beautiful and did not alleviate the bittersweetness of her music.

Love your poetry and am requesting a writing and / or pic of you smiling.

Love, Mosky

Lynn said...

So descriptive - I can see the whole thing.

Anonymous said...

killer ending, Sis! yet another fucking AMAZING poem!!!

Anonymous said...

this is beautiful and poignant, Shay ~