Monday, November 2, 2009

The Rapture

With the sound of trumpets, The Rapture arrives.

Unexpectedly, though, the trumpets sound disappointingly like muzak.

The Rapture arrives, on a Tuesday morning, to the sound of a Herb Alpert knock-off band.

Righteous people are vacuumed up into the sky from wherever they stand, but

Unfortunately, some are not vacuumed powerfully enough, and come back down,

Leaving messes for the wicked,

Who didn't like them anyway,

To clean up.

The Rapture comes, right in the middle of Maury Povich.

Unhappily, some of the righteous are not vacuumed up in their entirety,

Leaving behind an arm or a leg or someone's head.

Someone's head says that it feels certain this must be God's plan for it.

Unavoidably, whatever else it said is indistinguishable when some of the wicked begin using it for a soccer ball.

On the whole, say reviewers later,

--and one must remember that these reviewers are wicked--

The Rapture does not live up to its hype.

Everybody goes back to work, or school, or to doing nothing,

And waits for Armageddon.

(Teaser clips available

at Armageddon




jack sender said...

Oh,sorry, I misread.
I thought this was call
The Rupture.

mac said...

I guess I can put off buying that new soccor ball ;-)

Cloudia said...

Rapturous, Shay!

Aloha, Friend!

Comfort Spiral

Riot Kitty said...

This is perhaps the best line in the history of English:

The Rapture comes, right in the middle of Maury Povich.

Dulce said...

I am in raptures about you, woman!

Shadow said...

what a trailer!

g-man said...

Sounds like Video Games......
Rapture and Armegeddon!

Daryl said...

Love this .. it made me remember a very odd but involving book called Weaveworld by Clive Barker

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Anonymous said...

I'm guessing that Maury would continue on as if nothing happend.

Scarlet said...

Why is this so funny to me?? Maury Povich...LMAO

Chica, you must be entertaining angels all over the place! :)

Gabriella Moonlight said...

ROFLMAO! This somehow makes great sense to me...hope I can stay so then I can just enjoy the beauty of nature with all the other heathens!!!

Many hugs!

Steve E. said...

I'm gonna quit being such a GoooD person --grin!

EXCEPT on your blog, Fireblossom

You're a terrific writer...can you understand me? My head just rolled into the netting at the end of the field. Everyone's yelling, "SCORE!"

Dulce said...

hey ! Lovely Shay ♥!!!
You mean you left a comment which wasn't kept!!!! oh! What a shame. Anyway, thanks for checking. It's true I get sad if you forget me! ;)

Mama Zen said...

"You are NOT the father!"

Jannie Funster said...

God would do much better with an Electrolux over a Hoover.