Frankenstein's Monster

Frankenstein's monster gets up off the slab and fixes some eggplant parmigiana.

It is late in the year and getting dark early.

He has a nice french loaf and Kenny G playing in the background.

Still, despite his huge hands and appetite, the table seems wide as a desert, and the meal somehow paltry.

Frankenstein's monster goes and examines himself in the mirror.

Green. Tall. Flat-headed.

Like a steroid-enhanced Gumby.

If only...

There were someone.

Frankenstein's monster attempts to join Eharmony,

Only to be met with rejection.

Not because he is green, or seven feet tall, or pieced together from parts,

But because he wanted to meet

A nice man.

This the Eharmony people shrank from in righteous horror.

Frankenstein's monster re-papers his master bath in an attractive floral pattern.

The work distracts him, but in the end, there is no one to look at and ask,

"What do you think?"

He turns on "Top Chef" but is soon lost in a daydream.

He sees himself dancing in the Tiki Room, with all the flaming torches and the good rhumba music.

Perhaps tonight

He will find someone to share it all with...

But it is late,

And so he just takes off his shoes and lays down on the bed he got from Ikea.

He says, "Four posts around my bed,

Four angels around my head,

Something, something..."

And despite the clumsiness of his prayer,

He feels certain he has been heard by God and Saint Michael

Who will surely

Protect him from the small,

The mean,

And the stunted bogeymen who so assiduously guard the public morals.

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