Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Rant At 8 A.M.

I sat in the corner at AJ's Cafe,

With a biscuit on a shishkabob skewer, and a x-large coffee full of caffeine;

It spoke. It went:

Double, double,

Toil and trouble.

Drink me.

I'm your Alice, sugar.

I sat in the corner on a wooden bench at a wooden table,

And became a tree spirit.

My limbs suddenly grew the boardinghouse reach, and I rudely swiped shit from other tables,

Cracking blackberries like walnuts,

Delighting in the screams and inventive new curse words.

People stared but wouldn't approach me.

I sat in the corner at AJ's, writing a new poem--

The page began pale as a virgin bride, but I filled it up with bad notions, backtalk, bullshit and beauty so sharp the baristas wept.

Then it got up and flew,

Its still-white wings waving at me,

Its mother,

With my head of flapping crows, I use no product,

I am a feathered Medusa,

A vintage hat full of crafty crazy,


Let me set it on your head,

You will hear it sing.

Maybe it was mermaids, or somebody's ipod.

I sit at AJ's Cafe on a Wednesday morning--

I wait like judgement,

I idle away the hours,

I am just a girl,

I used to be sweet.

Pour out that lo-fat decaf bathwater, baby,

Come over here,

Live a little--

Drink me.



Raven said...

'The page began pale as a virgin bride, but I filled it up with bad notions, backtalk, bullshit and beauty so sharp the baristas wept.'

I love it! Sinfully delightful! Sometimes I'm so awed by your writing I just can't stand it. You are amazing!

Shadow said...

order me one of those, i'm on my way...

Sherry Blue Sky said...

Oh my freaking god, it's impossible, but you have outdone yourself. The boarding house reach? the poem that got up and flew, its white wings waving? And the head of flapping crows on which you use no product.

I dont know how you do it. And I dont know why you arent wildly famous for it, but you should be. Seriously. Some publishing house is missing out big-time.

This is just sheer genius, kiddo. I so love it.

Brian Miller said...

i will take a double...

Ami Mattison said...

Bwahahahaa! Only your mad genius could write this. I would've loved to have been there with all that cussin'* and poetry flying around in the air.

AJ's has sucky coffee!

*Yes, I dropped the 'g'! Drink me!

TALON said...

Hey! Some decaf can be pretty tasty! (especially when you dont' have a choice about having it);)

Always an immediacy in your writing, Shay, that sweeps me up.

Helen said...

Pure awesomeness .... if that's even a word!

Patricia Caspers said...

I'm your Alice, sugar-- such sass and spunk. Love that de-virginized poem and all of its adventures, too. Go, you!

Kim Nelson said...

AJ's patrons din't know what they were in for this Wednesday morning. All that brilliance and bullshit brandishing about!

hedgewitch said...

If this is ranting, I tremble to see what you call poetry. Every line of this is full of spit and vinegar, in your face. The image personifying the table, the hat of singing crows, the drink itself--what a slew of surprising and transfixing metaphors. You are the cosmic barista with this one, Shay.

signed...bkm said...

"I am you Alice Sugar" set the mood of the coffee I love them...have worked in them...everytown should have one...the stories written on the stools and counters..bkm

Daryl said...

I'll have a double, hold the milk and sugar

Mama Zen said...

I know how you love some inventive curse words!

mac said...

This makes me wish I liked coffee.

Do ya think we could get some of this spirit in my MtDew ?

Lynn said...

That's pretty cool. :)

Sioux said...

Cracking Blackberries like walnuts...THAT is something I'd like to see...

Who ticked you off to get you to rant like this? Get them to do it again tomorrow, please?

Lolamouse said...

I want a vintage hat full of crafty crazy! Where do I get one????

HermanTurnip said...

"The page began pale as a virgin bride, but I filled it up with bad notions, backtalk, bullshit and beauty so sharp the baristas wept."


In my opinion there is nothing more evil, more insidious, than a blank piece of paper.

ileana said...

This one ends very sexy. "Lo-fat decaf bathwater"...that's what I'm ordering at Starbucks maƱana. ;)