The Amazing Gypsy Fortune Teller

The gypsy fortune teller said, let's begin then.

Stay away from men named Tom,

Fireworks, bombs,

And poisonous creatures of every description.



Then she sipped her tea

And the silence stretched out

Endlessly.



Anything else? I asked, a little pointedly.

Of course, she said,

And nodded, yes even winked, at me.



Again she sipped her tea

Which habit was becoming

Rather annoying to me.



Well? I demanded. What?



Avoid escalators,

Pontificators,

And pitch men of every stripe.

Shun sailors

And milksops of all persuasions and natures.

Be suspicious of bishops

And high churchmen of all denominations,

But most of all,

Remember that cheap hair spray is an abomination.



What do you recommend? I inquired,

Simply wanting the whole thing to end.



Glue.

Bamboo.

White plaster.

Epoxy or polyurethane.

Pie crust.

Endust.

Cat gut or monkey brains.



I'll be leaving now, I said.

She just sipped her tea

And wiggled her ears

Quite thoroughly amazingly.

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