I brought you a garden where Winter had hidden--
It came drawn by two draft horses, strong and dumb,
Like the Cossack hearts I had made them from.
The Siberian ice pleased you, breaking beneath your sable boots--
Little frozen birds from the afterworld
Arrived to adorn your fingers like feathered burls.
If I had just one wish,
It would be to lie beside you like moving water--
I want to tear myself continuously on the edges of your ice.
Sick of loving dull round stones,
I want your sharpness--
Over millennia, I want to be dissolved entirely
By your face,
Your eyes,
Your voice.
I brought a garden where winter had hidden,
To your frost-sheathed doors, shut against the Spring--
Concealed within was the canny vixen,
As silent as snow, as soft as linen.
________
for One Shot Wednesday
27 spoke through the ouija:
Sharp and chilling
Won't be thawing any time soon
Always know I will read excellent Shay - always!!!
Moonie
"...sick of loving dull round stones..."
Ahhhhh... this one is deliciously sharp, pointed and exacting as ice itself.
Love.
cut on your sharp edges, i like that...i need that myself...the dull edges are rather lame...and bringing that garden to the cold frozen waste land, perhaps it will grow yet...
Your must know that your lyrical intensity sustains many of us. This poem sings an icy, beauteous song, shay. I especially love:
If I had just one wish,
It would be to lie beside you like moving water--
I want to tear myself continuously on the edges of your ice.
Sick of loving dull round stones,
I want your sharpness--
i think you might like my offering for today-- :) xxj
I have always especially loved Russian love stories. But there never has been a better one than this. Your writing is breathtaking. Truly. I forget to breathe, when I'm reading, so amazed and awed am I by your words.....the little frozen birds are a compelling image......wowzers. Love the white fox too.
.
Those Cossack hearts never knew a better mission.
This will provide warmth in even the coldest Russian winter :-)
Dearest Fireblossom...
I will Gladly pay you Thursday,
For a bowl of Borsht Today......
Loved this Shay.
(Plus I just love it when you visit Thanks)
Yes, those dull round stones are tiresome. This was sharp as icicles-wonderful!
ouija say ya!
"Sick of loving dull round stones"
Brilliant tempo in this one. Succinct, satisfying visuals. This one just flows off the tongue. *Very* nice!
"I brought a garden where winter had hidden"
i like the idea of a secret garden blooming somewhere in the midst of a barren winter heart...
"sick of loving dull round stones"...the pure white of the piece..almost blinding like a Russian winter...bkm
i love this, the cold, the ice, dissolving entirely...
Wanting to be dissolved entirely by a face must be an ultimate submisssion...wanting to be another! A beautiful white out of personal identity!
Powerful...
Wonderful and fantastic imagery spills from the inkwell...I'm freezing! Great Oneshot!
Beautiful - quite beautiful.
Shay,
Reading this aloud, I liked where you placed the rhyme. I also loved the imagery of these lines,
"If I had just one wish,
It would be to lie beside you like moving water--" That's a very sexy line:~)
My favorite lines were,
"Concealed within was the canny vixen,
As silent as snow, as soft as linen."
Oddly, the first thing I thought of with these lines was the Trojan Horse, meaning the concealed "vixen":~) I do wonder what that "vixen" was up to?
Let's see if I can get this said without a dozen typos--
I think you've just explained Tolstoy to me. The whole poem is just speaking and eloquent, but that second stanza! (I'll be waiting to see if those feathered burls start flying around amongst us--such a perfect image.) And of course, the moving water, torn-- such a cunning reversal of the usual image of water dissolving/melting ice. And the ending, of course--the whole final stanza is the pearl that depends from a perfect silver necklace of words. Lovely, Shay.
I'm going to look for some little frozen birds today. Really love this, Shay.
xx
silent as snow, soft as linen ... I feel it
Beautiful!
The ice point of self-immolating romance. Wonderful capture of place, time, emotion. I am absorbed.
"If I had just one wish,
It would be to lie beside you like moving water--"
Oh, yes!
brilliant, sharp and beautiful!
"The Siberian ice pleased you, breaking beneath your sable boots"
I really love that.
"I want to tear myself continuously on the edges of your ice"--I feel this line in particular, but the entire piece is compelling and beautiful. A fine love poem, Shay!
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