Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Opening My Heart

I opened my heart,
but it was no Up With People moment.
It hurt, so I worried at it
until it cracked and split.

From within,
a small dragon.
I fed her Poe and Rimbaud,
Ferlinghetti and Neko Case.

She grew and ate Detroit,
then was sick on the rug.
I led her on a chain,
her head searching side to side
and her haunches high.

Now she's Out, breathing fire.
Beautiful. Angry.
Loose.
_____

73 words for Words Count with Mama Zen at Real Toads


26 comments:

LaTonya Baldwin said...

"She grew and ate Detroit,
then was sick on the rug."

You gotta know I zeroed in like a dart on bullseye.

Vivid, magnetic, raw. And 73 words. Powerful.

Lynn said...

Oh my!

Kerry O'Connor said...

Fabulous piece! Full of power and magic. i also loved the video you shared - reminded me of my little girl who has ridden elephants and ostriches (and camels).

Susan said...

What Kerry said. And I wish I wrote this poem. And thought of the animation. But mostly the poem. My dragon has been out and craves to be out again. Thank you for this gift.

Mama Zen said...

I could not love this more!

Sara said...

I loved the last verse...especially "Beautiful. Angry. Loose."

It's amazing what you can do with 73 words:~)

p.s.

I also like the video. The animation was great as was the song. I'm not familiar with Neko Case, but liked this song very much.

Hannah said...

This is voodoo magic indeed! I love what happened here, Shay, catblossom! ♥

hedgewitch said...

You've put a lifetime into 73 words here, Shay--a smoky, black magic, backstreet gris-gris one. I like the lines LaTonya liked, but also the very opening and the end, which builds the dagger of this from hilt to point.

Sam Edge said...

yikes! I see thousands of asian fleeing in panic!

G-Man said...

Gosh, it seemed like yesterday when Up With People replaced The New Christie Minstrells as America's "Feel Good" musical ensemble. (Sigh)

Marian said...

Please to feed Neko Case to the dragon, but not the rest!

TexWisGirl said...

cool piece, dearie!

Kay L. Davies said...

This is great, Shay. Got a giggle out of "fed her Poe" which, much as I admire the man's ability, would be enough to make anyone eat Detroit.
Had to go to my backup browser in order to see the video and am glad I did. I'm reading a book by a former PR man for the San Diego Zoo.
Just noticed the Hemingway quote in your sidebar. So true. Ironic, as he says.
Luv, K

Margaret said...

iPhone won't let me view the video. Will be back for that. A powerful lament... The dragon will get revenge, I'm sure of it.

Susie Clevenger said...

Love it!! A dragon that eats Detroit...some dark magic and pain in this. Fantastic as always!

Sherry Blue Sky said...

"It was no Up With People moment." What a fantastic line! I love the dragon's head searching side to side, her haunches high. Wouldnt matter if you were only given FIVE words - you could make them reach farther than I can with a thousand.

HermanTurnip said...

Careful. An overload of Poe and Palahniuk can send one over the edge faster than you can say "disfigured supermodels"...

Maggie Grace said...

Feels like raw rage which I love to read! Great image. I so wish my computer worked to watch videos. I need techie help. Wonderful writing!

Cloudia said...

Gosh!
a wee gem!



ALOHA from Honolulu
Comfort Spiral
~ > < } } ( ° > <3

Lolamouse said...

"It was no 'Up With People' moment..." I'm still laughing.

Lolamouse said...

Cool song too!

Helen said...

... Detroit will never be the same again. :-(

grapeling said...

Strong, vivid, magical - as ever, Shay ~ M

sharplittlepencil.com said...

I thought politicians already threw up Detroit!

Shay, this was occult at its best... visceral, creepy, and kind of gross. In other words, BRILL! Amy

Ella said...

so happy you set her free! The wild must roam ;D Well Done

Sioux said...

Shay--Your "Up With People" reference brought back a flood of memories. I haven't thought about those sappy-happy singers in decades.

I loved the image of her head searching from side to side, the getting sick on the rug bit and yeah, I'm sure Mama Zen is a harsh task-mistress when it comes to word count...