in her little car
on the black ice
that waited like The Cosmic Punchline,
she thought
no,
I'm not done,
I'm not ready,
but then again
no more work
no more collection calls
no more having to get up and fuck with it all.
In the time it took
to hit the rail
time slowed down
and her coffee in the little holder
spun with her--
full on one side and
disappearing on the other
as she thought,
I'm ready
I'm not ready
I'm ready
I'm not ready
I'm
I
am
not.
___
love this: full on one side and
ReplyDeletedisappearing on the other
Holy crapola. Another one that makes me suck in my breath in awe...
ReplyDeleteTime does seem to go into slow motion mode when cars crash .. I know. Wonder how many of us actually have lucid thoughts. Another winner.
ReplyDeleteHave you seen "The Book Thief?" Just wondering ...
Portrait of the artist as an object in the collision of forces we call, for awhile, life. This spins altogether too fast and too far for comfort, but so beautifully, that it's like watching figure-skaters in their complex choreography turning faster and faster, in one of those spins it doesn't seem possible the human body can do.
ReplyDeleteThis is exactly what it was like as my car spun out and then hit the abutment.......time was suspended, it all felt inevitable, I just waited..just a few seconds later, a semi toiled up the hill, had things been the slightest bit delayed I would have been mashed into his grill.......the spookiest thing was I had been listening to a tape and the last words I heard before the car spin out was "Wake up call." Yoiks. Your poem is so real, I have to ask - did this happen to you?
ReplyDeleteSpun out.
ReplyDeleteperfect. that helpless, but oddly observant, stretch of a moment ~
ReplyDeleteAlthough I don't have a fear of death in general terms, I do have a fear of that instant recognition of death - the cognitive thought, the awareness - as it is happening. It has happened to me once, when I starkly knew I was going to die (I didn't) and it is frightening. Reading your poem brought it right back to me - nothing so much as the freeze frame of the coffee sliding out the tilted cup...
ReplyDeleteAwful and brilliant at the same time.
"Shay's Word Garden" has been included in the Sites To See for this week. Be assured that I hope this helps to point many new visitors in your direction.
ReplyDeletehttp://asthecrackerheadcrumbles.blogspot.com/2014/01/sites-to-see_10.html
Every perilous moment asks the question, shall we take you home? And often we don't know the answer until we open our mouth. Yes.
ReplyDeleteShay......?
ReplyDeleteOh honey, I hope this is not even remotely true for you and that you are safe.
ReplyDeletexo jj
love the twist in this! time did slow down when my car ran up a telephone pole, but i was only 17 so the thought of that being the end never entered my mind.
ReplyDelete♥
The description of the coffee in the cup is just cool.
ReplyDelete