The School For Brevity

meets only on monday.

masters stern as a disease
cut you dead off at the knees.

come be silent, locked away
before you half begin to say.

________

138 characters for Words Count with Mama Zen at Real Toads.
she asks for a twitter-like 140 characters or less.
sounds too much like haiku, to me! 

Comments

TexWisGirl said…
short and stern. :)
Lolamouse said…
"Brevity is the soul of wit."
Kerry O'Connor said…
Sounds like just about any day in my classroom.

;-)
hedgewitch said…
You manage to cut to the quick even in 140 characters. Personally, I think brevity sucks--but that just could be that it takes me twenty words to say what one could. Really well done response, Shay.
Pealogic said…
I knew these masters, they could be evil
Sherry Blue Sky said…
Ha ha, love the comment about haiku - you just barely escaped that fate!
Anonymous said…
it's haiku. face it - technology conspires against magic, and twitter subsumes japanese form. resistance is futile. :) ~
Anonymous said…
Love it!
Unknown said…
Sounds like those teachers that almost turned me from a lefty to a righty.

Didn't stick though.

And yes this is very haikuesque for you FB
Unknown said…
You most clearly do not appreciate this particular school! Message aptly delivered! :-)
Susan said…
Perfect. Short changing all.
Kenia Santos said…
You sound perfect, no matter how many words they let you use. <3
Anonymous said…
Sounds like my time in elementary school with nuns as teachers. That said I do think brevity has its usefulness. I like your tone, let's us know how you feel. :)
Other Mary said…
But you didn't need any more words - this is sharp and to the point and so well done!
stern as a disease paints a grim picture... brevity is hard.
HermanTurnip said…
Short and to the point. If said in a cadence it sounds like something a girl would recite while skipping rope. Nice!
Helen said…
... like Other Mary says ~~ pencil point sharp! Ouch.
Margaret said…
Defiance rings loud and clear here!
Susie Clevenger said…
Love it! You certainly got your point across. :)
Mama Zen said…
What Lolamouse said! But, I thought we met on Wednesdays . . .
Sean said…
As others have said! This poem does not feel limited in any way, due to the word count limit. Great job!
Daryl said…
perfect for wordless weds. ;)
Linda said…
This is wonderful! The photo and poem match perfectly.
Ella said…
I see a movie scene in my head! The poem so matches the view~ Nicely done
Kay L. Davies said…
LOL
I remember oldtime schools where silence was insisted upon, loudly.
Luv, K

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