Annoyed?
Surrounded by assclowns?
You need the Assclown Removal Kit!
Includes everything to remove assclowns in one easy application!
The Assclown Removal Kit removes:
chatterboxes
slow, overcautious drivers
blowhards
pious fuckheads
whiners
passive-aggressive dipshits
know-it-alls
drama queens
personal space invaders
and more!
Kit contains fire hose, PPOs, duct tape and launch pad.
Order NOW!!!
_______
for Flash 55 at Real Toads! Feel free to grab our cool new graphic designed by Lily at Poetry of the Netherworld, at the top of this post!
Sounds worth the undisclosed dollar price tag!
ReplyDeleteI need one! Where do I send my money? 55 snorts and associated sarcastic guffaws for the FF55 annals.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Kerry (well worth whatever the cost) but I disagree with Hedgewitch. I need more than one. I think if I order a baker's dozen, I might have one or two left over to use in an emergency situation...
ReplyDeletei'm not savvy enough to know what a ppo is (besides the medical insurance thing.) :)
ReplyDeleteMoney is no object! Send me 2 immediately!
ReplyDeleteLovin' the new graphic! We are getting so legit!
i need this.
ReplyDeleteDo you have any left? Please! There is a local (and national) infestation of douchebags that needs to be treated.
ReplyDeleteBrilliant!
Oh if only it was a real thing! But thanks for the good dream.
ReplyDeleteWhere do I sign up? Cackle! Loved this. (Surely to God someone must have invented one of these by now?)
ReplyDeleteOMG ... send this one to Stephen Colbert!!!
ReplyDeleteIm IN!
ReplyDeleteALOHA from Honolulu
ComfortSpiral
=^..^= <3
Oh no.. I've been know to be a chatterbox. ;P (otherwise I think it is funny)
ReplyDeletewhoosh. damn, Shay ~
ReplyDeleteYou've got them all- and a good way to deal with them!
ReplyDeletehaha...and my day has been made. i hope you publish this poem in a book someday.
ReplyDeleteps...the trinkets, mojo and mocha latte sound a lot like me. i think we should be fast friends! :)
This should Rid you of "them". I would like to be around on application. Very clever indeed.
ReplyDelete..
It's so great that one product will cover such an array of faulty traits!! Lol Fun imaginings here, Shay!!
ReplyDeleteYou are such a hoot! Love the name "assclown." I can see this ad on late night TV. My mind also had fun imagining using the kit, especially the launch pad. LOL
ReplyDeleteIt was also fun to read. I got to practice my own announcing voice/ Lets just say no one will hiring me soon:~)
Also, thanks for including "personal space invaders" as they are an assclown I'd like to remove
You'd make a fortune . . . love it.
ReplyDeleteLove it!! Where can I buy one?
ReplyDelete