The Neighborhood Babe

Wise man say:
Quit with the pidgin already.
If you can't put together a simple declarative sentence in the English language,
the best I can offer you is a gig with the railroad.

The Neighborhood Babe leaves her rugrats at home for the evening,
and attends a night class.
Pretty soon she can dance like Ginger Rogers
and do her own taxes,
but she needs more, you dig?

Up, up the mountain she goes, that chalk-fingered Babe,
to the tippy top.
Survey says:
Location, location, location,
but there he is anyway,
the Shell Answer Man,
chewing on a Krispy Kreme.

I want to be a poet, she tells him.
He says:
Jot down a bunch of gibberish.
Everybody'll love it and toss roses at your feet,
and even if they don't,
just call your sloppy nonsense poetic license and smile indulgently.
Then come back here and fill in for me;
I need to see a man about a dog.

So the Neighborhood Babe finally arrives back home,
spouting zen koans
and making the rugrats dig a koi pond in the back yard.
At night she dreams of China--
the Great Wall turns into an undulating snake,
and she rides it, waving her hat like a cowgirl and shouting hoo-wee!
Fortune cookie say:
Though shrouded in mists, lofty heights await.
Sometimes she actually knocks her pillow onto the floor.

for Hannahballistic's Transforming Friday challenge!




TexWisGirl said…
gosh, you're a mess! :)
Fireblossom said…
I am, aren't I, TexWis?

hedgewitch said…
I got a strange visual of Dr Strangelove there on riding the undulating Great Wall-snake--and Confucius says, teach a child to build a fishpond, and he'll never ask for pets again. Pardon me while I snorkle my way to bed--most enlightening, Ms Fireblossom.
Hannah said…
I think it's interesting, your character - she has it all but not the wisdom or the poetry...Shell Answer Man has the remedy...I find your closing most entertaining, especially what you put the kids to work doing!

Thank you for joining the challenge, Shay!!
Sherry Blue Sky said…
I just love you. OMG, I grinned all the way through, like a Confucian cat!
Magaly Guerrero said…
"Though shrouded in mists, lofty heights await."

And she climbs, climbs, climbs...
Jim said…
Got to keep the rug rats busy, huh Shay. Liked the line, "Everybody'll love it ... ". Get her to post on The Toads and she'll find it isn't 'everyone'! :)
Been to the G Wall of China but somewhy I don't dream of it. Good for her.
Kerry O'Connor said…
I'm always certain of an entirely unique angle from you! Love the way you tied it all up at the end.
Unknown said…
i found the second stanza quite funny!! the way you describe a poet is almost apt!! :)
Helen said…
Bring any facet of this place that you wish! ~~~ oh yeah.
Maude Lynn said…
This. Is. Brilliant!
Susie Clevenger said…
There is so much life in the it!!