Reanimated Lavender Granola Switchblade Nun rides again.
Showing posts with label born to be wasted. Show all posts
Showing posts with label born to be wasted. Show all posts

Saturday, June 7, 2025

My Child

 

My child was born over the radio at noon
calling, crying, appearing--clearly mine.
She displayed an instant madness, an affinity for the moon
accepting only pomegranate and warm plum wine
as Nurse counted up the medications and the spoons.
We communicate by carvings, deep and raw
and love words mercurial and gritty as a dune,
that respect no wound, no custom, no law.

My elephant child, heavy, hunted, wise
eludes rubber-handed teachers of the exhausted strike
arriving in little rowboats in full courtly disguise
to mine my little darling as she rides her phantasmal bike
down to the grave of stars to kiss the thing that dies
in a tiny wooden cradle beneath a concrete sun
to bring it back, to make it rise
and then her work is done.

Come, child of animals, black earth and fire
to the shelter I have cobbled from discarded turtle shells
where poets burn on pages, porches, pyres
and all variety of heavens, limbos, hells
to arrange your dolls named Judgement and Desire
who sit on silken pillows or in coffins fit with bells
to call their mothers, those beauties, belles and hags
combined into an advocate for my child with tongue flat-felled
by a celebrated seamstress, dumbly mute and dressed in rags.
_____

for Word Garden Word List--Anne Sexton

Music:

Sin City 


Monday, November 25, 2024

Poets' Bento Box

 I dug our grave with a silver spade
and a paper bell in the coffin shell--
a bento box where our lines were laid.
I dug our grave with a silver spade
but then in a dream, a kiss delayed
like a sweetly sorrowful gift from Hell-- 
I dug our grave with a silver spade
and a paper bell in the coffin shell.
_______________

a triolet for Word Garden Word List--The Return of Ellie Black

TLDR:

Dave Van Ronk, in the song Motherless Children, sings these lines:

Dig my grave with a bloody spade when I'm dead
dig my grave with a bloody spade when I'm dead
dig my grave with a bloody spade
make damn sure that the digger gets paid

He also does a song Old Blue about a beloved dog who dies. He sings:

I dug his grave with a silver spade
lowered him down with a golden chain

I kind of combined the two in my triolet, which is not about motherlessness or dogs, but is about an old relationship. The bento box denotes the compartmentalization of it. 

In the 19th century, there was a great fear of premature burial. A solution was offered in the form of "safety" coffins, which had a bell above ground attached to a string underground and placed in the corpse's hand. In the event of premature burial, the person could ring the bell to summon help.

Finally--and my process notes are now quite a bit longer than my triolet!--I had a dream recently that a person I had put out of my mind came to me and kissed me tenderly on the cheek, bringing back old feelings, if only in that moment. A paper bell, if you will. 

Music: Elton John Funeral for a Friend/ Love Lies Bleeding


Sunday, October 17, 2021

Ash


Ash is blind and boneless, but flies.
Colored flames flare the leaf that dies.
For a moment, the madman lucid.
Sweet milk in the sun turns putrid.

The bonfire kills the thing it lights.
Ash is blind and boneless, but flies.
You may find that devils may care
To catch and keep you with them there.

The young may sigh, slow, and sicken
to find their tongues gray and thickened.
Ash is blind and boneless, but flies.
A snare denies its bird the skies.

Don't be so proud, sure and boasting.
See the rooster, plucked and roasting.
The grave may loose the one who dies.
Ash is blind and boneless, but flies. 
_______

for Sunday Muse #182. This is a quatern. Thanks to LiJade.











Thursday, April 16, 2020

Remains

The first thing they noticed was an earthquake; then the shape that the earthquake revealed.

A once-living thing,
like a bank president or jilted lover,
it had turned to stone and worn the same expression for lo these many millenia.

An expert from the university was dispatched,
along with a few dozen anonymous local sherpas who would be doing all the work.

The expert knelt, pupils dilating, and forgot to breathe.
"Is he going to propose to it?" wondered the sherpas.

Once, the thing's gut was filled with enough sweet summer grasses
to fill all the holes left by the earthquake, and then some.
Its tremendous scat was as big as the expert.
It knew a tropical sun and carried bizarre shrieking birds on its back.

Sometimes, when you are just trying to run a business,
or staying in bed willing yourself to die,
some know-it-all bastard comes along and tells you that you have to evolve, 

or pull yourself together for the children.
This is when aftershocks come in handy,
and rubble suits become these officious fucks,

who, in a thousand or a million more years will find your visage unchanged
and earthquakes as impotent as priests or Pollyannas. 
_________

for Day 16


NOT the "official video" btw. But still.


Saturday, June 3, 2017

The Ambitious Waste Basket

The ambitious waste basket perhaps read too much into it
when it was given a clean white scented trash bag to wear.

"He's going to marry me!" thought the waste basket, mistakenly.

Instead, every time he filled her, he emptied her.
He attached a miniature basketball hoop and did not desire
her molded plastic body at all.

The ambitious waste basket grew bitter,
and took to leaving itself in the hall and on the stairs.
Finally, her anger set her waste paper contents ablaze.

Her prince arrived and, calling out the most endearing obscenities,
splooshed a bunch of white foam into her, delighting her.
"He wants me to have his child," she concluded, erroneously.

Her heart and body melted, the ambitious waste basket could not even react
when she found herself inside a larger container and felt them both being rolled to the curb.
The trash truck arrived and she fell into it without a thought, because

The trash truck clearly wanted her, and held her tight,
though he smelled pretty bad and didn't talk much.
"It's just l'amour fou!" said the ambitious waste basket, quite correctly this time. 
________

Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Hollyhocks

The tank crew put their gear back on.
Before the treaded wheels splintered down the last of the fence posts,
the one with the grease in the creases of his hands smiled at me as he pulled up his pants.

"Raise my kid right," he said in his heavy accent before hauling himself up,
graceful as an acrobat,
onto the turret where he sat like a sultan as the thing began to move.

Where the hollyhocks had been, there were now trenches of churned-up earth.
It will be easier to bury my dog, the herder,
who they shot as casually as waving across the field to a neighbor.
I think my wrist is broken.
I can't see out of my left eye, but perhaps it is only the blood drying over it.

Years from now, in another country,
a graceful child will swing himself up the bars of a playground castle,
waving to me from the top before his proud smile fades.
He will ask me why I'm crying, and it will only be half a lie
when I answer that it is because of him and my gratitude
that God has blessed me with such a son.

Then he will smile again and cross his arms,
looking out across the schoolyard like a sultan,
the very image of his father
and the great things that men create from their most casual of actions.

 
Please. Please. Can't we stop killing each other?

Monday, November 25, 2013

poem girl

packed deep in the roots of my teeth,
i keep everything i long to say, but don't.
i am as pleasant and sweet as a drink of anti-freeze--
kiss me, i hold thirty-two volcanoes. 

it turned cold, but you had your scarf,
your soft gloves,
your navy pea coat;
what did you need me for?
nothing.

longing cracks my bones open
as if they had been dropped from height by birds.
impossibility is a handy rock--
bombs away, 
the fall,
the split,
the blood-heart in the white shell.
i am a love letter written in angel spit,
misdelivered into hell.

i thought of you last night
and moaned.
there is no other mercy like your hair, your voice, your body;
i am krakatoa
i am a siberian fireball--
my ribs lay flattened for miles,
they heard my stupid whimpering on the streets of paris,
and the skies over new york stayed dusky and dark at noon.

i'm just a girl,
in love with you.
you have a husband you keep close like a voodoo doll--
you hang your heart on him like a blue star.
here is my smile,
empty and harmless.
here are my words, crimson-black on the page,
and when they hit the sea, the sea boils
and every beautiful creature
every mermaid
every siren
every humble shell
is turned to ashes with the expression of my useless flow of sorrow.
_______

image from weheartit.com

Monday, October 15, 2012

Ode For A Young Beauty

An ode for you, my swan-necked sylph
grown tall and fine by afternoon--
a gamin grown where asters bloom;
precocious, prideful, pretty elf--

Expediency is your diadem;
your flower's face an asterisk--
the reaper's scythe exposes quick
your thin, deceiving, hollow stem.
_______

Saturday, April 28, 2012

E Z Off

Sylvia Plath's spirit spoke to me
as if she were the
god damn Oracle Of The Oven.

Sylvia say,
"Oh, girl,
give it up.
You think this world gonna change?
You think the rain gonna stop half way down the sky
to save your fuckin' 'do?"

She say,
"Do what I do.
Pretend it's a workout show.
Crawl in like this,
and breathe in deep and slow."

So I say,
"Who is Sylvia,
what is she,
that all our swains commend her?
What kind of half-assed soul was she
that a kitchen appliance should end her?"

I say,
my Love, she leave me last on her list.
Not feelin' loved,
it sucks dead donkey lips,
but
still...

Damned if I'm gonna snuff it here
with chicken grease in my hair.
Damned if Pete the repairman say,
"It don't work because
there's a damn dead girl in there."

Anyways,
something good might happen any time.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Oh look, that made me laugh.
_______

Saturday, February 11, 2012

Glory

There was a war, and as with all wars,
Glory fell dead in her boots the first week.
The Orthodox priests were there as we boarded the trains.
They blessed us,
Made the sign of the cross and assured us
That the God who made us, down to the smallest sinew and bone,
Wished for us to be shoveled
Like coal
Into the fire of insanity
Which breeds behind the shining eyes of rulers.

What did we care about the French, licking pastry crumbs from their fingers,
Or the English?
At Masurian Lakes and Tannenburg, we were guided to our doom by imbeciles,
And for what?
Let Willie have Poland;
We cared nothing for it.
We cared for bread, and shoes, and getting the lice out of our hair.

The Little Father came to rally us--
He did not carry the stars inside his coat.
No sign of Divine favor radiated from him.
He was a runt;
I wanted to stand him on a crate and then face the crate toward an executionary detail.
He would fall, you know,
Just as we did.

The next day,
My horse was hit in the flank, and the wound became infected.
I had to shoot him myself.
That was different, a greater obscenity,
Than killing strangers for no reason;
I realized that our beasts,
Dumb brutes that they were,
Were holy
Compared to the imps who compelled us to be part of this.

There was a war, and like all wars,
It was a devil bathing in blood,
Washing filthy vileness into us
And setting screaming nightmares loose inside our riven skulls.
So don't ask me to tell you about it--
I left my tongue there,
Torn out and mute,
Fodder for empire,
Profaned and lying speechless in the mud.
_______


for Real Toads weekend challenge. Photograph by Talon.

Friday, January 13, 2012

60 Second Theology

The executioner with the short attention span
Sometimes fails to finish his work.

The feathers on a lady's hat
Send him off into the crowd, and then into the fields,
Looking for a warbler
Or a milliner.

A certain condemned aristocrat, thus semi-reprieved,
Was left stumbling in circles, a broken clock,
Holding one hand to the bloody side of his neck,
The other still unblemished as a girl's.

The distracted executioner is called on the carpet.
He is censured by the king himself,
Though it comes down from corporate.
Still,
Five minutes later,
He has forgotten it all and is riding a tiny tricycle through the stone-cobbled streets,
Trailed by a snotty, wailing child.

Say hello to the distracted executioner.
Lay your head here, please,
Just so.
If it helps, pretend you are at the salon for a shampoo;
Many have pleaded for mercy,
While others have spat and cursed as you do.

Will you be saved by a passing minstrel's tune,
Pardoned by a colorful butterfly?
Or will your head roll like a bowling ball,
Blinking in sudden surprise?

Your fate rests, it seems to me,
With the shifting vagaries,
The chance inanity,
Of a buffoon elevated to deity.
_______

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Snake Mama

Snake Mama gave me the gift of a thousand knives.
"They are beautiful!" she preened, alight.
Over rusty, infecting edges, she crooned,
"They are perfect, pretty, and mine."

Striped with red, I dared to scream.
"So over-sensitive! What are you thinking of?"
Each invasion deeper, further obscene.
"Come, child, be constricted in my love."

Snake Mama can't be wrong,
And brooks no blame, she's smooth--
No harbor, no boundary, no private place
From the trenches undersea to the mountains of the moon.

Cut off one head, seven more will grow,
Each one of them speaking the same;
Snake Mama poisons her babies' bones,
Hard done by to find they're insane.
_______


Find information for daughters of narcissistic mothers HERE.

_______

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Done, Devil

What have you done, Devil?
Jimmying the front door this time was a cute touch.
Look at my walls, my rugs--
What have you done, Devil?
I suppose you're going to clean this up?

Devil, get behind me.
Rhumba down,
Cha cha back.
Look at all the black heel marks on my precious linoleum--
Look at all your stolen souls, gone amok.
Who is going to control them?

Devil, let me straighten your tie.
If I didn't know better, I might think that you had arrived
A tiny bit high.
Have a cupcake, Devil.
I made them myself, and went to no small trouble.
Of course they're chocolate!
You're such a fuckwit.

Devil, you think you're so wickedly smart--
You smear brimstone on the hearth stone
And tell me it's pop art.
Be glib--
Very nice, very well.
Let me say this in the most loving way:
You don't look so good.
You've let yourself go all to hell.

Til next time, Devil.
Go walk up and down upon the Earth.
Do whatever it is you do,
But for what it's worth,
Pink is the new red, and goes just as nice with classic black.
Oh, don't try to tell me, Devil,
That you never thought of that.

________

for dverse poetics

Monday, August 1, 2011

The Fall of Ra

The sun god Ra lives quietly on a pension
In a bungalow in Redford, Michigan.
He makes some Sanka,
And begins to reminisce again... 

"I was big in the land of the burning sand,"
He announces to the cat.
"A deity of some distinction!" Then he waves a hand.
"But you wouldn't remember that." 

Egyptians are in short supply
On pretty East Blackberry Drive.
Ra wears crocs and takes the paper,
Saving the crossword puzzle for later.

A tin sun blazes, never sinking lower,
On the side of the shed where he keeps his mower.
Once, he sneered as pharaohs bowed,
But all that is gone--
"Hey you kids! Off my lawn!"
(He says through the window, and not very loud.)

__________

for Magpie 76

Thursday, June 9, 2011

The Check-Up

The doctor is a white bird
Under a fluorescent sun.
I am a little frightened fish
Half mermaid, half undone.

He asks, "What brings you in today?
What do you mean by appearing here this way?
Have you had anything to eat?
Grasses, communion, meat?

Have you ever wondered how a raindrop stays round?
Or why they always fall?
What's the big attraction with the ground?
How old are you? Any idea at all?


Sexual partners?
Male?
Female?
Out to their families?
Symptoms?
Wings?
Tail?

What drugs have you taken?
This morning?
Last week?
Can you tell me?
Did you bring them?
Can you speak?

What did your father die of?
What did your relationships die of?
Or do they still persist?
Is there anything I've missed?

When you were a child,
Any fevers, coughs, or chills?
Was there one particular day
When you were most desperately, painfully ill?

When your heart beats,
Is it like a Chesapeake & Ohio train?
Are your ribs the track, your legs the trestle?
Does it rattle through your brain?


Or is it more like the lazy waves
Rolling in off the lake in July?
If you remember the time you had a hand to hold,
Will you act the girl, and cry?


All right.
I see.
None of this is exact.
None of this is free.


How do you like the paper gown?
Are you afraid of needles, sharps, and pokes?
Do you think you could go like this, for me?
Do you think this is a joke?


You can get dressed now, we're done.
Did you feel the need to pray? To dissociate? To come?
It's all normal.
Take three of these.
Call the desk with questions, or if you start to seize."


The doctor is a white bone,
His diploma terra cotta;
And I am a little frightened fish
Slipping back into the water.


_______
 

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Daddy's In His Shop

Daddy's in his shop
With the gadgets and the glop,
Toiling all the afternoon
To turn potatoes into shoes.

His coffee's laced with paint
All the better to enable
Him to fix his extra eye
Which had fallen on the table.

He doesn't eat his sandwich
Kindly placed at his right hand.
When you ask him what he's doing,
He says, "you wouldn't understand."

Electric charges bring the largest cat you've ever seen
Back from the brink to have a drink of flaming kerosene.
Then it eats some rotten meat and gaks up on the floor...
When daddy takes its heart for parts, it will not gak no more.

The missing neighbor
Is used for labor--
He claps on and claps off.
The answering machine
Eats aubergines
But has a nasty cough.


There are nails in a jar, petroleum and tar,
And little screws rolling loose;
Elbow joints and old toast points
Plus a railroad train caboose.


Daddy's in his shop
Of a Sunday afternoon,
He doesn't give a shit about the grandkids;
He pees in a can,
Sleeps in a sedan,
And lines his hat with old can lids.

_________


Fireblossom does not understand "puttering." 
No cats were harmed in the writing of this poem.
Photograph by Rob Hanson for One Shoot Sunday

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Station Seven



There is no ballet on the moon.

There is the LUN-ORE base,

The appalling bolted orange chairs in the lunch room,

And the corporate mission.



The employees bicker, complain of minor ailments, and sometimes sleep together,

But their hearts have become like empty plastic bottles,

On their sides,

Gaping.

They contain no ships, but their dreams do,

Sinking in the ether.



Some of the craters make natural theaters,

But they lie white and vacant,

Like dead faces,

Beneath the blue-in-black of earth rise.



One of the floor workers wanders outside,

Past the caution signs and air locks.

She is like a split seed,

Sending a yellow-green shoot out through the blind dark.

She unscrews her helmet,

Shakes out her hair.

The environment here is too thin to live in--

Her skin tingles.

Her heart constricts.

It is like a first kiss.



There is no ballet on the moon,

But there is someone,

Someone out there,

Dancing in the dust.

In this place, there is no real joy, no satisfying connection, just shifts beginning and ending,

Skin going pale,

Vending machines being brought in on transports.



For a moment,

Work is abandoned--

Everyone is looking out through the double windows.

"Look at her," they whisper to each other, fingers splayed at perfect intervals in front of them.



Outside, the woman knows she is beyond the gray border of good sense,

That she is doomed,

But she has her audience at last.

She is beautiful,

She is art,

And rips through them instantly and irreparably

Like a harpoon

Or a gunshot.

___________

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

The Sun Shines Out Of Her Smile


Such a winsome lass

So fine, so fair

That the sun shines out of her smile



And for a while I hoped that she might not hate me

For a while I wished that she might tolerate me

But, no.



Her tiny flaws mean nothing to me

Anyone can fall into a felony

Or three



Just forget about the past because

The sun shines out of her smile.



For a while I hoped that she might not hate me

I dared to dream that she might tolerate me

But, no.



She said she'd rather die,

And not only that,

But she said that I

Make her want to be so very ill

But still...



She's got what no other in the world has,

And if you ask me,

The sun shines out of her smile.

______

for One Shot Wednesday

Monday, April 11, 2011

Dolphins

The dolphins came out of the sea,

And from the corners of the eyes of giants who lay weeping and unconscious across the lazy heavens.



It rained dolphins, their bodies as smooth as dogwood blooms.

They smiled as they fell, they were fog, they were everywhere.



In those times, you could put the sun where you pleased--

It could rise in the south,

At midnight.

Who cared?



I live in a paper house which is always on fire,

I keep dying until it bores me;

I lie down on the smoke like a cat in a streetside window,

And the disused milk chute with the rusty catch holds the stupidities I cherish most.



Now they say,

Dolphins are really birds--

The sun is nailed up like a tin sign on an empty barn,

And no one is coming to save you,

To kiss you,

Or even to bury you.



The dogwoods are dead and the sea floor has fallen in,

Revealing God in the magma,

Chinamen in the paddies,

And you,

Falling,

Like a feather into the flames.

_____