Monday, October 15, 2012

Ode For A Young Beauty

An ode for you, my swan-necked sylph
grown tall and fine by afternoon--
a gamin grown where asters bloom;
precocious, prideful, pretty elf--

Expediency is your diadem;
your flower's face an asterisk--
the reaper's scythe exposes quick
your thin, deceiving, hollow stem.
_______

21 comments:

TexWisGirl said...

i like your tag 'bitter old hags unite' where do i sign up?

Cloudia said...

I feared being bitter, but I'm kinda happy to be childlike and wandering again liberated from the aweful longings and torments of lust...pride...fashion sense...


Aloha from Honolulu
Comfort Spiral

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hedgewitch said...

You make every poetic device work overtime for you here, from alliteration to meter, to the form itself, which seems to open like an envelope, or a milkweed pod, and show an unexpected woman inside. (The asterisk line cost me a double handful of hair.)Just exquisitely neat stuff, Shay.

Far Beyond The Ridge said...

A gamin grown where asters bloom~i love that line!
And agree with hedge(of course)
Pride? I shucked that long ago
Enough falls will do that to ya

HermanTurnip said...

Congrats on making me look up the word "diadem". I'm now that much smarter...

Sioux said...

Too many of them big words in this here poem. I don't have much book-learnin' so I'll just shuffle off...Seriously, what kind of skillful sphincter did you pull this out of?

Shay, you always shine.

Susan said...

You surprised me with the "thin, deceiving, hollow stem." in this "Ode for a young beauty". . . "my swan-necked sylph." You eithe r have more characters in here than I spotted (I think the Gamin and elf are the same as the sylph)--or, beauty is truly only skin deep! I enjoyed the surprise. a haggish praise indeed.

flipside records said...

Exquisite. I found this gripping and painful to read:

"your flower's face an asterisk--
the reaper's scythe exposes quick
your thin, deceiving, hollow stem"

I love the way you played with "asters" and "asterisk." What a gorgeous image--petals presented as an outburst of asterisk. This is a clue that the poem is about a writer.

If she is swan-necked, she holds her head high. But we quickly find out she comes from the streets and has turned herself into "something" from "nothing." But it's all trickery. She hasn't really grown; she's only figured out how to fluff up her petals so that she look beautiful; this gets her what she wants. But really, she's empty.

Carol Steel 5050 said...

I appreciate how you went from "precocious, prideful, pretty elf.." to "your thin, deceiving, hollow stem." I could see this coming. I liked the flow and echoes of image, the alliteration and the snap at the end.

Lynn said...

Bitter old hags unite! Ha!

Lolamouse said...

Sounds like most of the girls I went to high school with!

flipside records said...

P.S. "asterisk" = "aster risk" ... You don't want to mess with this girl. She's unpredictable and dangerous, particularly because she has no clue who she is (or maybe she really isn't anything at all). So you'll certainly never figure her out. Only the reaper really sees.

Mama Zen said...

This is freaking incredible, Shay.

Kerry O'Connor said...

Ha! An envelope quatrain... I see what you have done here... and I like the result very much :)

Hannah said...

Love your opening two lines, Shay and the flowers face an asterisk...nicely worded. :)

Daryl said...

she's obviously a Republican ... she types, ducking and running ..

nene said...

Love this Fireblossom

Love what Cloudia said. Wish I could release myself from the torment of lust and pride but I'm a man made of animal skin.

ayala said...

Thank you, shay for your condolences. It means a lot to me.

Roselie said...

I think that's my favourite poem so far, I loved the first verse especially...

Sherry Blue Sky said...

I was surprised by the hollow stem, after all of the beautiful lines. Got a cackle out of "bitter old hags unite". Hee hee. You are a caution. I managed to walk out of the SPCA today withOUT a puppy. (They locked them all up when they saw me coming, hee hee.)

Helen said...

My mother always said .. beauty is as beauty does.