when it was given a clean white scented trash bag to wear.
"He's going to marry me!" thought the waste basket, mistakenly.
Instead, every time he filled her, he emptied her.
He attached a miniature basketball hoop and did not desire
her molded plastic body at all.
The ambitious waste basket grew bitter,
and took to leaving itself in the hall and on the stairs.
Finally, her anger set her waste paper contents ablaze.
Her prince arrived and, calling out the most endearing obscenities,
splooshed a bunch of white foam into her, delighting her.
"He wants me to have his child," she concluded, erroneously.
Her heart and body melted, the ambitious waste basket could not even react
when she found herself inside a larger container and felt them both being rolled to the curb.
The trash truck arrived and she fell into it without a thought, because
The trash truck clearly wanted her, and held her tight,
though he smelled pretty bad and didn't talk much.
"It's just l'amour fou!" said the ambitious waste basket, quite correctly this time.
________
That was a delightful read indeed. Warm greetings!
ReplyDeleteThis is priceless, Shay. I got damn-near giddy as I read the first two lines, realizing how entertaining a read this was going to be.
ReplyDeleteThis part, in particular, is brilliant: "Instead, every time he filled her, he emptied her."
I love this as well: "The ambitious waste basket grew bitter,
and took to leaving itself in the hall and on the stairs."
"splooshed a bunch of white foam into her ... 'He wants me to have his child,' she concluded, erroneously." Oh my word, girl. You kill me!
"The trash truck clearly wanted her, and held her tight" Good golly. Isn't that just how it goes?
Sadly, I identify with the wastebasket. Hilarious, dear Shay. There is much to be learned from this cautionary tale, besides all the usual garbage.
ReplyDeleteOnly you could entertain us so delightfully and outlandishly with the saga of a wastebasket. Some gals need to set their sights a little higher.
ReplyDeleteHA!!!
ReplyDeleteyou are truly brilliant, Shay! disturbed, but brilliant!
♡