Reanimated Lavender Granola Switchblade Nun rides again.

Thursday, July 13, 2017


So I thought: I'm gonna agitate the gravel,
make like a banana and peel.
I musta had static in the attic;
Daddy's gonna flip when he sees what I done to the Roadmaster.

Oh geez, my leg's stuck under all that mess of metal--
I guess I'll have to leave it and come back or something. 
Not leaving my bags, though, oh hell naw.
Oomf, gawd they weigh a ton.

This sweater is cashmere, used to be yellow, now look at it.
And my head keeps boinging over to one side--
I must look like a real dope.
Mom's gonna have a cow. Whudja do to ya hair? Lookit ya clothes!

Maybe I should go knock on some square's door.
Hi, I'm dead, can I use your phone?
I gotta get somebody to come pick me up.
First ghost on the right! Oh girl, don't start actin' like a nosebleed.

So I wonder if Mom'll have me stuffed into a real churchy get-up
and have some Clyde get up there and say, yeah, she was an angel girl,
everybody loved her, life's gonna be a drag now.
Then cheesy organ music and shufflin' feet and dropped programs and stuff.

I wonder if it'll rain at the cemetery like it always does in the pictures?
My ankle biter little sis'll pitch a rose down on my coffin,
and crank crank crank down I'll go, like a big fat flower bulb.
In the spring maybe I'll pop up again, Ta da! Queen For A Day, what'd I win?

Johnny might write some retarded song about me, sit strummin'
with a tear in his eye, get a new girlfriend in about five minutes, if that.
My social life is over. At school I'll just be The Dead Car Wreck Girl.
Daddy's gonna blow his stack, Mom's gonna have kittens.
*sigh* Guess I'll start walking. Er, hopping. I really should've worn flats.

for my Fireblossom Friday challenge at Real Toads: Bang, You're Dead.



  1. This is different and reads like a song, each line uplifting the other. Very well written. Warm greetings!

  2. This must be what death-shock sounds, feels and looks like. Discombobulation at it's best. Brilliant.

  3. funky and fun. death has a flippant side

  4. You have that knack of creating the perfect character sketches through dramatic monologue. This reveals so much about your protagonist's personality, and that is where the fun of the read lies - even given the grisly details.

  5. This puts me in mind of those comedies in the 1930's - Blithe Spirit, Topper...the dead come back and walk about and are soooo amazed they are dead. Excellent character study.

  6. Shay--As usual, you made me smile and smirk--at different points.

  7. Oh I know I shouldn't laugh at death... but I think this one tells me so much about how it is to be alive... For some reason this makes me think of Buffy the vampire slayer...

  8. She clearly had way too much fun before the car was a brilliant story.

  9. Oh I love this!❤️ Perfect combination of humor and sass! *swooooon*❤️

  10. Now this is really good, entertaining and no doubt will please many worriers about that time immediately after the event. How important it is to put a smile on your face as you face every challenge whether in life... or death!

  11. I am happy to know we keep our sass and attitude after made me smile, kiddo.

  12. Well composed piece. It really has fun with one;s feelings. (mine at least)

  13. Hilarious--and I love the way you used the old, OLD-school beat slang here to underline exactly how many things are dead besides the speaker. The last line made me guffaw out loud--and yet, there is also an element of pathos and very human vulnerability to this dashing swagger of youth cut short. Annnnnnd the hits just keep on coming.

  14. Love, love, love the lightness you characterize this. You take me back to when i was a tiny tot and used to observe the girls my oldest brother used to date.

  15. Oh, the Voice! Love the voice of this.

  16. A downpour with thunder and lightening at the cemetery no doubt.

  17. I think you just gave death the it!

  18. Ha ha ! Love the humour you've given here, especially the ultimate line. Great read.

  19. Buffy the prom date zombie! The musical accompaniment is purrfect.

  20. Sweet culture and humor and teen girl thoughts. I'm baaack! What'd I win??


Spirit, what do you wish to tell us?