Reanimated Lavender Granola Switchblade Nun rides again.

Saturday, June 6, 2020

The Welder (dedicated to Carl von Cosel)

The welder with the sickly wife
replaced her failing parts with metal
so as to preserve her precious life
albeit with skin more plating than petal.

She was calm and sweet and very grateful
and in him placed her faith and trust
to restore her as best as he was able
even after she began to--sadly--rust.

A stove pipe neck, a ball bearing eye
forestalled the Reaper's pitiless visit
even as neighborhood kids would cry,
"Holy honking shit, what IS it?"

Her lips of bronze, her lids of tin
and her gams of ducts meant for the furnace
made his bride a gadget so lovely to him:
"Ain't no other contraption as fine as her is!"
______________

The most famous work by the celebrated American poet Aldous W. Bates. The poem first appeared in Popular Metallurgy in the June issue for the year 1913. Bates was, in fact, married to what we would now refer to as non-bio companion named Alice Menzies, who had previously been part of a steam engine. They had one child, a boy, who the couple named Boot. The child showed early promise as a can opener before succumbing to an over-fondness for WD-40 and dying in obscurity in 1957. A full account of the life and work of Aldous W. Bates is available in book form under the title "Hard and Steamy: A Love Story" 353 pages, Slagheap Press 1931. The volume is renowned for both its fearless eroticism and the inclusion of a formula for what was, at the time, a newly discovered alloy. 




10 comments:

  1. What a creative take! I can see this poor gal rusting and all! Sometimes we just cannot save the one's we love without taking away thier quality of life. The ixcerp at the end is a brilliant addition to your captivating story poem that only you could write my friend! You always amazed me with your stunning imagination!!

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  2. Love this... nothing like an uncomfortable laugh AND footnotes ��

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  3. I love 'skin more plating than petal' .... one might ask 'oil can wherefore art thou' ...

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  4. Omg, hilarious. I loved the plate and petal skin too, but the footnotes were my favourite.

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  5. You are killin me! While this actually sounds like quite a good idea, and I wish I had a handy welder around to replace a few parts, you make it into quite the cautionary tale of love and rust(which we know, like us, never sleeps.)How much of our partners do we actually replace over the years with out own contraptions? I love this, especially the biographical footnote, and poor Boot, which had me howling. Thanks for a very much needed laugh, and a very cool little poem, too.

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  6. What a stunning imaginative write, offering smiles all along the way. Alas, poor Boot...a WD 40 failure...one of the few.

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  7. "Holy honking shit, what IS it?" -- Ahahahaha! So good. And I love the epilogue or whatever you'd call it.

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  8. You go where no one thinks to go! Love the visuals you write so I can "see" the unusual bride. I think I'd be construction me a man if I were single now.

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  9. Wonderful imagination, Shay. Also gave me a chuckle or two. Thanks for the background information.

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  10. Hilarious! Love the footnote. :)

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Spirit, what do you wish to tell us?