A pint of Ben & Jerry's Caramel Sutra ice cream sits shivering among her miserable sisters
In the freezer case
Cherry Garcia says, no one will ever buy us, we are trapped here forever!
Phish Food says, Oh woe! Woe!
Then a gentle hand embraces Caramel Sutra.
The hand wears no ring.
Before you can say "Jack Robinson", Caramel Sutra is in a bag with two french bread pizzas
On the front seat of Hand Lady's little car.
"We are more like chunks of ice than pizza," say the french bread pizzas.
"I am more like a very chilly brick than ice cream,"
Says the pint of Ben & Jerry's Caramel Sutra.
Then, in two shakes of a lamb's tail, they all three find themselves on Hand Lady's kitchen counter,
Next to her little telephone.
It does not ring.
Hand Lady has broken up with her boyfriend (girlfriend?).
His name was Anthony, and he called her his "old lady."
Her name was Belinda, and she told her she was supporting her own subjugation
By wearing cosmetics
And using hair spray.
But then! Quick as a cat can wink its eye, the french bread pizzas are in the oven.
It is warm, so warm! We feel gooey with gratitude,
Cheesy with an unrestrained devotion!
Hand Lady puts on a movie.
Debra Winger (Julia Roberts?) is dying of something, and Shirley MacLaine is there to make pithy remarks,
And love through the tears.
In no more time than it takes to make a wish, the pint of Ben & Jerry's Caramel Sutra ice cream joins the french bread pizzas
And they are all three part of the kind, lonely Hand Lady who brought them home with her.
But! They have a plan!
Any day of the week
Could be the day she meets a new boyfriend (girlfriend?).
He will say, your arms are as warm as two french bread pizzas;
She will say, your lips are as sweet as Caramel Sutra ice cream!
She will feel just like Meg Ryan (Cinderella?)
And live happily ever after
In a cute little house
Right behind the 7-11.