A chocolate cupcake joins the army,
But there are problems from the start.
The cupcake has no arms,
And so cannot take bayonet practice--
He is in fact repulsed by the very idea.
"I am a sweet baked treat;
Little children love me,
And I bring cheer to everyone."
The cupcake's sergeant is displeased--
The cupcake's uniform is waxed but not starched;
And to add to his troubles,
He has no mouth with which to cry "Sir! Yes Sir!"
But just when everything looks most bleak,
An army wife says, "Hello, Lonesome."
She looks right and left, but her husband is off doing manly things.
She runs an O.P.I.-painted nail across his little paper ribs, and says
"Come to Mama."
As he is lifted closer to her Max Factored lips,
His little chocolate heart expands with joy.
Thinks the cupcake,
"A military career is not really my destiny."
Shivering with satisfaction, the army wife closes her Covergirl eyes and sighs,
"God bless America!"