A demon is depressed,
Has a headache,
Is reduced to perpetrating mere mischief.
"So many bunion-ridden priests,
Splattering holy water and going on about
The-power-of-Christ-compels-you yadda yadda."
The demon sighs and the hanging plants wither and smoke.
"I knew a succubus once," says our demon,
"That girl's kiss could set your hair on fire."
But the succubus got sick of stealing sleepers' souls
And became a realtor.
"The last job I worked, they didn't even bring in the church,
They called their homeowner's association instead.
'Possession is prohibited within fifty yards of an occupied dwelling,' they said.
What could I do? Those guys work for the big boss."
The demon is depressed,
Has a headache,
Gets a job at the Department of Motor Vehicles.
They give him a rubber stamp that says "application denied."
It is his only joy.
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Haha I knew they were demons!
ReplyDeletei like the work..Nice .
ReplyDeleteDK
LOL Grace, they don't even TRY to hide it, do they?
ReplyDeleteDavid, welcome to the Word Garden :-)
Oh Shay, demons tired of stealing sleeping souls who become realtors, others who get jobs with the DMV.
ReplyDeleteIs there no end to your genius?
Probably not.
Thank God.
LOL thank you, Jannie.
ReplyDeleteI saw a Gahan Wilson cartoon once where a little boy is watching an artist paint. They are at a pleasant seashore, but the artist's canvas is full of writhing monsters. He says to the little boy, "I paint what I see, child." ;-)
"What could I do? These guys work for the Big Boss" Bwaa-ha-ha, so many's a word said in jest..!
ReplyDeleteBrilliant.
I've met that one! Great word stringing.
ReplyDeleteFinally, the truth about the homeowners association!
ReplyDeleteVery good, Fireblossom!
ReplyDeletenow THAT was damn cool!!!!!
ReplyDeleteLOL Shrinky, I do my best to mix truth with bitchiness. I'm always glad when you stop in and see me here. :-)
ReplyDeleteLeau! Yes, those minor demons do seem to get around, don't they? It's nice to see you here.
Mama Zen, that was my favorite bit in the entire poem. Homeowneer's Associations are spawned in the pit of hell by the Dark One himself. Why would I lie? ;-)
Beatrice, it's always wonderful when my favourite nightowl stops in to see me! :-)
Vodka Mom, welcome to the Word Garden! Your name reminds me of a book I found, titled "Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea." Too funny.
Oh christ, you had to mention the DMV, huh? LOL, I gotta go stand in the Devil's line soon to get tags renewed. Great. lol =/
ReplyDelete