Bo Peep gets tired of living in Romania--
Drinking mail-order brick wine,
And being knocked down in the narrow streets
By little fuckheads riding Vespas.
She emigrates, with her dog, to Canada, eh?
On the trains and buses,
Everything is displayed in both French and English--
And so she finds that she always has two ways
To get anyplace in that
Big dopey land.
Immediately, her dog (whose name is Tuxedo)
Begins herding things.
Sheep, children, goalkeepers, Eskimos, cabinet ministers--
He doesn't care.
One day, he even herds a moose out of the forest and back again,
Then just runs in circles
To burn off extra energy.
"Tuxedo," announces Bo Peep brightly one day
As they share a box of Timbits,
"I am going to write a novel!"
By noon the next day, she has.
It concerns a Romanian girl who is sick of
Brick wine and Vespa scooters,
And so she emigrates to Quebec.
She entitles it "Fuck This Shit!"
It sells five million copies, and Bo Peep appears on "Oprah."
One day on book tour,
She and Tuxedo take a Bienvenu! bus
To the prairies of Manitoba.
While Tuxedo ecstatically herds cows,
Bo Peep uses her crook to practice her wicked slap shot--
"She shoots, she scores!"
The red light goes on.
Girl and dog do a victory dance in the slanting light.
"Tuxedo, what do you want to do next?"
He runs circles around her, barking like a lunatic.
Maybe he means,
"Let's move to Greenwich Village, and I will herd beatniks."
Maybe he means,
"Pet me, Mama!"
It doesn't matter.
As long as there are no Vespa scooters,
Happiness could last indefinitely.
linked to Gay Cannon's very informative post about Poetic Devices.