Friday, December 16, 2011

Girl Next Door

She said she wasn't the girl next door,
but she was.
She said she had both hands on the wheel,
and she did,
but the wheel stayed still while the car went road sky road sky road sky stop.

She said she never kissed a woman,
but she had.
She said she had both feet on the ground,
and she did,
but she stayed still while her heart went swerve right swerve left swerve right crash.
_____

written for Marian's music prompt at Real Toads

16 comments:

Brian Miller said...

the wreck in the opening in a literal sense happened to my wife...end over end...about 8 years ago...and the heart, yeah that happened to me about 15...smiles...nice write shay...

Sherry Blue Sky said...

Love the "sky road sky road" and the "right swerve left swerve" lines especially.

Marian said...

oh, YES! love it. thank you!
the beginning of your second verse? that belongs in my poem, too.
we are on a similar wavelength, dig it.
(also, love retriever. love them all.)
xo

Mama Zen said...

I really like this! The "swerve right swerve left swerve right crash" is incredibly cool.

Lolamouse said...

Love it! Your heart can't lie-CRASH!

hedgewitch said...

I read this earlier and I guess my comment was devoured by the blogger gods. Haven't read the prompt, but like the way it's put together--the line that MZ has mentioned, and its earlier twin make this a bit hypnotic. The call and response sort of form is neat and very effective as well, fitting to the 'she' here, who seems to be rollin and tumblin in place.

Kerry O'Connor said...

As always you cut right to the climax of the story - never sparing your reader and leaving as to wonder what the denouement might have been. Filled with the accidental moments and emotion of this crazy ride called life.

Loved it!

Sioux said...

Several other commenters said it already. Such brilliance in just a few lines. I seriously think you are a different person every day, because your poems are so varied--in voice, in tone, in style.

Heaven said...

I like the last lines in both verses...images are vivid withe sky road and right and left crash...

Marion said...

I love every single, awesome word. I wish I had a tenth of your talent and chutzpah. You're my hero!! LOL! Great stuff, Shay. xo

"The role of a writer is not to say what we all can say, but what we are unable to say." ~Anaïs Nin

Sherry Blue Sky said...

This photo makes me think of Lisa SO MUCH! Whom I saw yesterday with her new little Yorkie, Penny, who had bows in her hair and SUCH a cute little face!!!!!!

Kay L. Davies said...

Wow, this is so graphic, without any unnecessary words. The last line took my breath away.

Kay, Alberta, Canada
An Unfittie’s Guide to Adventurous Travel

Mary Ann Potter said...

Amazingly brief yet loaded with a quick crash and burn. This is so impressive!

Lydia said...

Well, this is one of my favorite poems of yours. I think it is wonderful, Shay.

Máire T. Robinson said...

Love this! Succinct yet powerful.

myheartslovesongs said...

sing it, baby, sing it!

LOVE this!!!!