Reanimated Lavender Granola Switchblade Nun rides again.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Cindy & The Unfortunate Birthday Cake

Cindy did for the birthday cake.
Damn the thing anyway,
As if enough Bisquick and bullshit could 
Make her husband keep his dipstick where it belongs,
And keep her kids from going wrong,
And make everything as orderly as the numbered pages of a Redbook magazine,
Lined up flush and sequential,
Not loonbat crazy in the middle of the afternoon.

Cindy did for the birthday cake
With a ginormous honking big knife
Longer than a mother in law's memory,
And someone's got to answer for that,
For the gashes in the easy to clean table cloth
And the fucked up frosting
And anything and everything that Cindy faked since forever,
Like interest and orgasms and staying sober until five.

Cindy did for the birthday cake,
And it felt hella good.
____

for the dverse Tuesday night cattle call

my 300th Word Garden post of 2011 

24 comments:

  1. The picture is scary, the poem is scary, and yet I couldn't stop laughing at this.

    With a ginormous honking big knife
    Longer than a mother in law's memory,

    That defies words to describe it ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ah sweet rage against the marital machinery of middle-class mid-age middle-muddled self-erasure. Your aim is true. -- Brendan

    ReplyDelete
  3. Do you feel better now??? :) Oh my!

    ReplyDelete
  4. That's pretty troubled! A deeply upsetting situation you have portrayed here.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I've witnessed this type of birthday celebration and birthday cake cutting ceremony more common place than not. Especially after the second year of 'marriage'.

    I hope this was cathartic for you as it was for a few to read.

    ReplyDelete
  6. That was one hella good write! Kinda reminded me of Liz Phair's "Canary" from Exile in Guyville.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Birthday cakes will never look the same to me again!

    Pat
    Critter Alley

    ReplyDelete
  8. This gave me the chills. Starting with the picture!! Thankfully, I don't have a birthday coming up. LOL.

    ReplyDelete
  9. lovin' it!
    I can feel the rage
    have felt the rage

    I agree with your observations on my last post and loved the way you put it
    I also loved your top 5

    ReplyDelete
  10. I like Cindy. I think she's my double first cousin. Tee-Hee. LOVE this, Shay. xo

    ReplyDelete
  11. You really crack me up. :) Nice closing ...

    "Like interest and orgasms and staying sober until five" You gave me quite the laugh.

    Cake is gross anyway. I'm glad she slashed it up.

    ReplyDelete
  12. "Bisquick and bullshit"

    I love that. (But I don't want to eat that cake!)

    ReplyDelete
  13. looks (and sounds)like she's been finally pushed off the deep end!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Good read, and there's a rhythm in there I liked a lot too.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Freakin hilarious. Insane, but hilarious.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Whew what a cake celebration it turned out to be ....ha..ha...enjoyed this post ~

    ReplyDelete
  17. Not such a stretch; some days I enjoy beating eggs.

    ReplyDelete
  18. What a combination of funny and scary. I liked it!

    ReplyDelete
  19. you really don't like Redbook, do you? {smile}

    i like the "ginormous honking big knife" ~ it WOULD feel kinda good to just stab and jab and.... oh! sorry. {ahem} great poem, Shay!

    ReplyDelete

Spirit, what do you wish to tell us?