Damn the thing anyway,
As if enough Bisquick and bullshit could
Make her husband keep his dipstick where it belongs,
And keep her kids from going wrong,
And make everything as orderly as the numbered pages of a Redbook magazine,
Lined up flush and sequential,
Not loonbat crazy in the middle of the afternoon.
Cindy did for the birthday cake
With a ginormous honking big knife
Longer than a mother in law's memory,
And someone's got to answer for that,
For the gashes in the easy to clean table cloth
And the fucked up frosting
And anything and everything that Cindy faked since forever,
Like interest and orgasms and staying sober until five.
Cindy did for the birthday cake,
And it felt hella good.
____
for the dverse Tuesday night cattle call
my 300th Word Garden post of 2011
The picture is scary, the poem is scary, and yet I couldn't stop laughing at this.
ReplyDeleteWith a ginormous honking big knife
Longer than a mother in law's memory,
That defies words to describe it ;-)
Ah sweet rage against the marital machinery of middle-class mid-age middle-muddled self-erasure. Your aim is true. -- Brendan
ReplyDeleteDo you feel better now??? :) Oh my!
ReplyDeleteThat's pretty troubled! A deeply upsetting situation you have portrayed here.
ReplyDeleteI've witnessed this type of birthday celebration and birthday cake cutting ceremony more common place than not. Especially after the second year of 'marriage'.
ReplyDeleteI hope this was cathartic for you as it was for a few to read.
That was one hella good write! Kinda reminded me of Liz Phair's "Canary" from Exile in Guyville.
ReplyDeleteBirthday cakes will never look the same to me again!
ReplyDeletePat
Critter Alley
Poor cake .. poor Cindy ..
ReplyDeleteThis gave me the chills. Starting with the picture!! Thankfully, I don't have a birthday coming up. LOL.
ReplyDeletelovin' it!
ReplyDeleteI can feel the rage
have felt the rage
I agree with your observations on my last post and loved the way you put it
I also loved your top 5
Go Cindy!
ReplyDeleteI like Cindy. I think she's my double first cousin. Tee-Hee. LOVE this, Shay. xo
ReplyDeleteOh, my God! It's me!
ReplyDeleteOkay, who wants some cake? :)
ReplyDeleteYou really crack me up. :) Nice closing ...
ReplyDelete"Like interest and orgasms and staying sober until five" You gave me quite the laugh.
Cake is gross anyway. I'm glad she slashed it up.
"Bisquick and bullshit"
ReplyDeleteI love that. (But I don't want to eat that cake!)
looks (and sounds)like she's been finally pushed off the deep end!
ReplyDeleteGood read, and there's a rhythm in there I liked a lot too.
ReplyDeleteFreakin hilarious. Insane, but hilarious.
ReplyDeleteWhew what a cake celebration it turned out to be ....ha..ha...enjoyed this post ~
ReplyDeleteNot such a stretch; some days I enjoy beating eggs.
ReplyDeleteWhat a combination of funny and scary. I liked it!
ReplyDeleteYou kinda made my day!!
ReplyDeleteelemental pulsations
you really don't like Redbook, do you? {smile}
ReplyDeletei like the "ginormous honking big knife" ~ it WOULD feel kinda good to just stab and jab and.... oh! sorry. {ahem} great poem, Shay!
♥