consider the calm bird
assuming a steady pose
flap your wings, stupid
always seek stillness
goldfish swim, then are at rest
koi pond is frozen
nature provides much
receive nourishment from earth
use three second rule
angry mount fuji
flows faster than man can run
where are the fucking keys?
to coax bonsai tree
trim wisely and use soft ties
hammer not so good
sun rises then sets
industrious zen master
with your wife long time
sick like hell of rice
same thing morning noon and night
fuck you, uncle ben
______
Even an inveterate hater of haiku would *love* on these. They're deliciously wrong in all the right ways.
ReplyDelete*breathes in, breathes out, deeply*
ReplyDeleteOld woman says in youth
I learned wisdom; how
to take trip without leaving town.
peace _/\_ *bows*
(sorry--I was just...inspired by those.)
Much the smartness indeed, between you and Hedge, it is a delight to even browse your comment section:) When I saw the word haiku on a Shay blogroll I thought no, it couldnt be........but it was and they are AND they are hilarious. It doesnt get any better. Love "where are the fucking keys?" especially. Hee hee.
ReplyDeletePoint of interest: monks eat only whole grained brown rice, Uncle Bens not so much.
those first three lines fed me uniquely.
ReplyDeletethanks
Warm Aloha from Honolulu
Comfort Spiral
> < } } ( ° >
><}}(°>
< ° ) } } > <
grasshopper says: fuck!
ReplyDeletei don't wanna wax on or
wax off, you shithead!
sorry... you're SUCH an inspiration Mistress Fireblossom! i would be so honored if i could follow in your footsteps someday but i know i will never attain your supreme level of wise-ass-itude!
♥
Well played. Love the contrast. Now this is great haiku!
ReplyDeleteShay--If you can do THIS to haikus, I'd love to see what you can do to a limerick (or two).
ReplyDeleteWhere ARE the keys anyway? I've been looking for mine all damn day! (Seriously)
ReplyDeleteThis was terrific Shay.
For someone who hates Haiku, you did all right, FB. :)
ReplyDeleteOh.
ReplyDeleteMy.
GOD.
I'm still grinning.
LOVE THEM -esp the one about the keys. All of the stanzas were awesome!
Love these ..
ReplyDeletelol - loved them all, Shay. Such wisdom beautifully dispensed ;)
ReplyDeletebest haikus ever.
ReplyDeleteDelicious ...
ReplyDeleteI couldn't believe my eyes when I saw the title..ha..ha...
ReplyDeleteWishing you Happy Holidays ~
Heheheheh. Thank you, I needed that.
ReplyDeleteI find I can only enjoy the haiku of a haiku-hater!
ReplyDeletehahahahaha! "Fuck you Uncle Ben" I love it! My hubs has to have rice with almost every supper & it's driven me crazy for years! Ima read him this poem.
ReplyDeleteWhen Haiku is good
ReplyDeleteIt is very, very good.
When bad, it sucks cheese.
This, my dear, is very good Haiku. Nicely done!
(sorry if this comment is a duplicate)
That third one had me howling!
ReplyDeleteYou've obviously been studying hard at both haiku and zen buddhism, FB. You're well on the path to enlightenment (or psychotropic medication!)
ReplyDelete