The Calm Bird/ Haiku Poetry For A Wednesday Evening

consider the calm bird
assuming a steady pose
flap your wings, stupid

always seek stillness
goldfish swim, then are at rest
koi pond is frozen

nature provides much
receive nourishment from earth
use three second rule

angry mount fuji
flows faster than man can run
where are the fucking keys?

to coax bonsai tree
trim wisely and use soft ties
hammer not so good

sun rises then sets
industrious zen master
with your wife long time

sick like hell of rice
same thing morning noon and night
fuck you, uncle ben



Anonymous said…
Even an inveterate hater of haiku would *love* on these. They're deliciously wrong in all the right ways.
hedgewitch said…
*breathes in, breathes out, deeply*

Old woman says in youth
I learned wisdom; how
to take trip without leaving town.

peace _/\_ *bows*

(sorry--I was just...inspired by those.)
Sherry Blue Sky said…
Much the smartness indeed, between you and Hedge, it is a delight to even browse your comment section:) When I saw the word haiku on a Shay blogroll I thought no, it couldnt be........but it was and they are AND they are hilarious. It doesnt get any better. Love "where are the fucking keys?" especially. Hee hee.

Point of interest: monks eat only whole grained brown rice, Uncle Bens not so much.
Cloudia said…
those first three lines fed me uniquely.


Warm Aloha from Honolulu
Comfort Spiral

> < } } ( ° >


< ° ) } } > <
Anonymous said…
grasshopper says: fuck!
i don't wanna wax on or
wax off, you shithead!

sorry... you're SUCH an inspiration Mistress Fireblossom! i would be so honored if i could follow in your footsteps someday but i know i will never attain your supreme level of wise-ass-itude!

Unknown said…
Well played. Love the contrast. Now this is great haiku!
Sioux Roslawski said…
Shay--If you can do THIS to haikus, I'd love to see what you can do to a limerick (or two).
Joanna Jenkins said…
Where ARE the keys anyway? I've been looking for mine all damn day! (Seriously)

This was terrific Shay.
Lynn said…
For someone who hates Haiku, you did all right, FB. :)
Unknown said…

I'm still grinning.

LOVE THEM -esp the one about the keys. All of the stanzas were awesome!
TALON said…
lol - loved them all, Shay. Such wisdom beautifully dispensed ;)
Scarlet said…
I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw the title..ha..ha...

Wishing you Happy Holidays ~
cinderkeys said…
Heheheheh. Thank you, I needed that.
Kerry O'Connor said…
I find I can only enjoy the haiku of a haiku-hater!
Anonymous said…
hahahahaha! "Fuck you Uncle Ben" I love it! My hubs has to have rice with almost every supper & it's driven me crazy for years! Ima read him this poem.
When Haiku is good
It is very, very good.
When bad, it sucks cheese.

This, my dear, is very good Haiku. Nicely done!

(sorry if this comment is a duplicate)
Maude Lynn said…
That third one had me howling!
Lolamouse said…
You've obviously been studying hard at both haiku and zen buddhism, FB. You're well on the path to enlightenment (or psychotropic medication!)