The Old Angel
shakes bits of September from her wings
and stands at the gates of the prison from which she
has just been paroled.
The clerk had said,
"Here's your harp,"
but the Old Angel told her to pitch it.
She took her big drug store sunglasses,
her mood ring,
and allowed herself to be escorted outside, though she could have flown.
Where did the 90's go?
And the decade after that?
She wants to talk to God,
but there are no pay phones.
Stopping in front of a store window, she sighs.
"Look at me,
I am nothing but dry skin and split ends."
She almost cries.
The Old Angel is like any other angel--
She would like to be pretty,
would like someone's face to light up and for them to say,
"Well look at you."
She would like to have angel babies
and a garden.
Oh well.
The Old Angel is out on parole.
She sits down on a dirty bench and talks to the pigeons,
her fellow winged creatures.
"I was innocent, I tell ya."
They coo.
Bless them.
On she goes, into a little coffee shop called Danny's.
The waitress watches her walk in and she tilts her head.
"Well look at you," she says,
just as if she knew her well,
just as if they were old friends
and she had been waiting.
_______
Well, Fireblossom, what have you done here? Created a wonderful start to a novel.
ReplyDeleteWe will all want to know more. Promise you will write a sequel, at least.
300 pages would be better :-)
A new character for Danny's? I'm excited! Does she need to be a fallen angel to get in with the crowd there?
ReplyDeleteEveryone needs a Danny's in their life, a place where they KNOW they will be seen! Loved the 'old angel.' Yup, no more phone booths; and the old angel probably didn't own a cellphone.
ReplyDeleteA new character, I hope? My story-weaving friend.
ReplyDeleteah, see she's found the right place to go .. Danny's!!!!
ReplyDeleteThat's why i love your writing, shay
ReplyDeleteIt's always creative, inventive, and imaginative.
Never know what you're gonna get, but you know it will be special.
~rick
yes, I want to know more. and of course she would be expected at Danny's.
ReplyDeleteso glad you ended it with an uplift. us old angels need a boost...
ReplyDeleteLast week it was mad women in the swamp, and today an angel on parole.. Sheesh! I wish I had.... you know.
ReplyDeleteYou have the uncanny knack of creating a character that your readers can immediately buy into, we champion her, and welcome her home.
I could feel the heaviness of life, the sheer weight of years in the opening stanzas, pressing the heart to a fine powder--but suddenly, she's talking to pigeons, and everything is looking up. Of course she's innocent, and of course, she ends up at Danny's--so perfect Shay.
ReplyDeletebewitching read. especially love the idea of a payphone to god! great.
ReplyDeleteI LOVE the Old Angel, and so love it that the waitress at Danny's said "Well, look at you." The Old Angel is immediately one of my favorite characters, Shay. You write human hearts so very well.
ReplyDeleteWierdly this so relates to my life at the moment. Wont get into how...but you couldn't have created a more timely or magnificent write. Your characters are always so good, regardless the lenght of the work. Press on.
ReplyDeleteTo be really, really seen...adored...a precious commodity these affections. Nicely penned indeed, Shay.
ReplyDeleteDelightful!
ReplyDeleteso lovely and moving. Too good for the 'experts' I suppose, but I don't need them to know what's GREAT!
ReplyDeleteYOU are, Shay.
Aloha from Honolulu,
Comfort Spiral
=^..^=
> < } } ( ° >
> < } } (°>
I'm ASSuming this is part one, and there are several more in this series. Right?
ReplyDeletelove it. but then again, i'm just flyaway split ends and dry skin. more, please!
ReplyDeleteWhat a great start to a new chapter and character. More please, pretty please???
ReplyDeletexo jj
Loved the Danny's cameo. Great to see that your characters have a place to hang out where somebody knows their names...
ReplyDeleteI want a payphone to God?!
ReplyDeleteGreat musings...give us more ;D
Everyone needs a Danny's...great beginning to what I hope will be more chapters to come.
ReplyDeleteSo curious the story behind the jail time and what's to come!
ReplyDeletePigeons instead of doves. Danny's instead of a church. There is something for everyone :)
ReplyDeleteMore! More!
ReplyDeleteyes, more please!!!!
ReplyDelete♥
yes, more please!!!!
ReplyDelete♥
well, look at you.
ReplyDelete... sheesh, if we could really do that... see each other.
Danny's is a magic place.
and that old angel is a familiar face.
beautiful, shay.