The stoned cheerleader has chosen her activity unwisely.
Capricorns who carry pom-poms display a classic symptomology--
Clawing of the hands and digits,
And digestive upset.
Her cheers are different, and to some, mystifying or offensive.
Two, four, six, eight!
Who do we
Homeville! Homeville! yeahhh!
Three, four, five, six!
Pencil necks and limp dicks!
Score this time!
She is removed from the squad, and in short order, from the school,
After she assaults the Math Club with a fire extinguisher stolen from the hall.
Is there no sanctuary for the stoned cheerleader?
No tonic for her malaise?
The Accord of 1519
Outlines an agreed-upon series of steps for the banishing of witches.
Learned men hand down a list of crimes punishable under their aegis:
and "The utterance of profane or unwholesome cheers, such as may cause others to stray from proper teaching."
On the evening of Graduation Day,
The Homeville town fathers arrest and try the stoned cheerleader,
After offering her the chance to wear long dresses, speak mildly, and attend Wednesday night bible study.
These kindnesses are met with hostility
And a suggestion that the mayor and aldermen should form a circle jerk and yank each other cross-eyed.
The unfortunate cheerleader is burnt,
The smoke from her body curling straight down to the devil.
The mayor is re-elected,
And the following year, Homeville High goes 9-1
Inspired by the new head cheerleader,
for Flipside's word list 9
stay tuned next time, when we find out why Scorpios make poor nuns!