Thursday, January 29, 2015

Neptune's Time Share

Neptune sold his time share.
Now he runs a riding stable in upstate New York.
Venus can't pull off those young fashions anymore
without looking a little desperate,
and Janus got a gig as a doorman in Miami--
he can scan both sides of the street for a cab.
Diana and Egeria are lavender girls, if you know what I mean;
best friends, my ass.
Survey says, Vulcan and Vesta can't keep burning it up forever,
but somebody's got to make up for Minerva,
always studying for another Master's.

Remember when we used to chant:
Boys go to Jupiter
to get more stupider;
girls go to Mars
to get more candy bars.

Ceres is knocked up again.
I guess going vegan didn't slow her down a bit.
And Apollo, wellll, Apollo....
who knew he could lie like that?
He had us all fooled and now he'll do a dime up at Jackson.

I bought Neptune's time share
from the silly fucks who got it from him.
Now I get my two weeks,
but it won't be like it was when your skin was dark and shining.

The lake is frozen,
you spun some shit about having to work,
and so what do I do now--
now that I know that even an off-season goddess
is just another dumb girl after all?

for Hannah's challenge at Real Toads. "Lavender girls" (and "twilight girls") was pulp novel code for lesbians, back in the day.


Kenn Merchant said...

Wow this poem is really rich with emotional distress. So many twists and turns with an occasional lie. I can't imagine having a group of friends that were like this. Guess that is why I keep to myself most of the time. I could be a social type, but I don't like being lied to. Makes me turn green if you know what I mean. Really amazing write Shay! Love the raw emotion of this.

Mama Zen said...

"Boys go to Jupiter
to get more stupider"

I haven't thought of that in years!

Patricia A. McGoldrick said...

Whoa! This little drama kept me riveted to the screen! :)

Susan said...

The first stnza stated me giggling with that horse farm in Upstate NY and venus's style and Janus' double face. ANd the wit continues! "Best friends, My ass." Mars and Jupiter, yup! ANd so forth. I always hated time-shares anyway! Vary Cool Poem.

Jazzbumpa said...


Venus can't pull off those young fashions anymore without looking a little desperate

We have a wedding to go to next week and my lovely wife is very frustrated trying to find something to wear. We are decades past young fashions.

But it's Janus who really caught my eye.


Hannah said...

Your characters always entertain...great story, Shay...thank you for linking up! :)

Lolamouse said...

Another great poem, Shay! I love how your mind works!

Outlawyer said...

Clever, fun and a little poignant all at once--gee, even the Gods are having a hard time-who can blame us? I especially liked Janus--Thanks. k. (Manicddaily)

hedgewitch said...

Very atmospheric, and full of that lavender smell of the past. Despite the framework of mythic references has a very stream-of-consciousness sort of feel.

Björn Rudberg said...

I think we need any update of mythology this .. I think I met Odin on the Subway in Stockholm the other day, ravens on his shoulder but begging for money... After all who wants a one-eyed guy these days.

Sara said...

I learned something new. I didn't know about the secret code of "lavender girls."

But all said, my favorite line in poem was this one:

"Janus got a gig as a doorman in Miami--
he can scan both sides of the street for a cab."

Even pasting it in makes me laugh again.

This poem was a wonderful delight to read. I also like the chant:~)

Sherry Blue Sky said...

I LOVE "boys go to Jupiter to get more stupider".....LOL. Loved this tale of lavender girls. Especially the "off-season goddess" line.....

Margaret said...

Watch out, Neptune, the idiotic mayor is after those horse drawn carriages in NYC!! Wants to replace them with "vintage" small cars (like how stupid is that?) I am going to NYC soon and will make sure to look you up…

So, even mythology ages and changes - sometimes not for the better… sigh.

Kim Nelson said...

Gods can be so disappointing!

Debi Swim said...

Mythology with an update twist - love it.

The Grammar Queen said...

"Diana and Egeria are lavender girls" ... I love that. And this: "it won't be like it was when your skin was dark and shining."

Grandmother (Mary) said...

I was a jumprope junkie in my day and loved the boys/ girls go to... lines. I enjoyed this fun romp in the Pantheon.

Susie Clevenger said...

What a time share! There's pregnancy, stupid boys, and lavender girls.I wonder what it would be like to spend time in your head. Do you do time shares? :) Awesome as always!

Kerry O'Connor said...

The narrative voice here is very interesting - it has a kind of jaded quality, in keeping with fallen gods and goddesses.

my heart's love songs said...

love this more than i can say, SP! besides being a unique and, dare i say it, magnificent poet (i just know i'm gonna regret admitting that!} you are one of the wittiest people i've ever met!

Joanne Sprott said...

Great themeology. Reminds me of Gaiman's American Gods, actually.