New Baby

Our new baby,
a darling of the Universe,
grows tusks and unionizes.
Now, feedings are disastrous, injuries frequent.
Now, everything must be negotiated, from emotional forays to bottle temperature.

An intermediary is sent in,
but gets into the baseboards
and turns the TV into a homing beacon for her bitchy friends.

All we wanted was a child,
a sentient bit of fluff to dandle and imbue with various undemonstrated virtues and qualities.
Not tusks that send dentists howling into madness.
Not wildcat strikes with their attendant rancor and bloodshed.

Please baby, we say.
Please be normal.
A telegram arrives, from our baby.
We are terrified to read what it says.

for "Different Perspectives" at Real Toads.


tonispencer said…
Some people are not meant to be parents. Good one Shay!
Kim M. Russell said…
I'm with Toni on this one!
Cloudia said…
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Old Egg said…
Parents look at each other and say how on Earth did we begat that! Some do grow out of it though.
hedgewitch said…
This is a delightfully noir foray into our drives and desires, so often shall we say, not fully *informed*, and their consequences, which we think we can control and of course, are sadly mistaken. The surreal perspective imbues things with a sort of bloody glow of alien light, as so often happens when we are viewing our lives thinking WTactualF, and the second stanza in particular grabbed me. Very polished, yet pointed and pungent, Shay.
hedgewitch said…
PS Or so I read, anyway. Knowing your intricate little brain, I could be totally off base.
Fireblossom said…
You read it exactly right, dear BFF.
Susie Clevenger said…
What we wish for, expect, too often is not what we are gifted. Perhaps the child is a mirror we don't wish to see.
Helen said…
Love when labels are as creative as the poem, yours fit the bill! Parent trap ... yep.
Vivian Zems said…
Oh God! Tusks for teeth??? It’d be time to hang up my drills!😱.
On a serious note, a realistic reflection of the world in which we find ourselves.
Kerry O'Connor said…
I apologize for being so late in responding to your amazing poem. I think you really nailed the different perspective on child-rearing/ parenting here. The way you reference the 'infant' with tusks and claws makes me think that the baby, itself, is metaphoric for any situation in which one bites off more than one can chew.
Fireblossom said…
Exactly so, Kerry. I have missed you here!
Anmol (HA) said…
OH! This speaks to me of those who do not see their progeny as individuals and act surprised when these independent beings don't toe the line. The fear and surprise are palpable in this pointed and tactful verse. I love the wit and humour of it.

P.s. I apologize for such a long delay in reading and responding to your take on the prompt.