Dear Readers--do you all know my friend Mama Zen? Women want to be her and men want to be with her; yep, that's the one! She has tagged me to participate in telling 10 honest truths about myself. Here goes:
1. I was raised a Methodist. Clearly, it didn't "take." I don't think they're allowed to wear red or say "crap." And crap like that. My apologies to any Methodist readers I may have. To this day I can spout bible-themed double talk, all of it wrong. Hey, that stuff's not the bi--...oh,never mind!
2. The thing I am most proud of having done is my part in raising my son Joe. And no, I am not bi one get one free; the stork brought him, honest injun. Joe is obviously the most handsome, brilliant, charming two-legged fellow on the planet, though I may be biased. Nah!
3. After Joe, I've got another guy. Oh yeah! What a catch, I was lucky to find him! It was a real pick up joint where we met, but I knew right away he was the one for me. I even sing "My Guy" to him! Five years of true love and going strong. I am talking about, of course, Bosco the border collie! Hands off, ladies, he only loves ME! Darn right.
4. My car has bumper stickers. They are: "Born OK The First Time", "Girls Kick Ass", "Sorry I missed church but I was busy practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian", and "FEMME." "Girls Rule" fell off.
5. My name is Shay and I am a chocoholic. I don't need a LOT, but if I don't have SOME on hand every day, I go absolutely batshit. And if I am hormonal, goodnight, fuggeddaboudit. Just shut up and pass the Oreos. My nickname is "Cookie" for a reason!
6. My favorite movie is "When Night Is Falling", a Canadian movie, recently reissued, about a female professor at a religious college who falls in love with a dazzling gal who works with a traveling circus. She shoots an arrow through the professor's window with her telephone number attached. If someone did that to me, that would be it, register us at Kohl's and send out the invitations.
7. I own a cowgirl hat. It's brown and it's a "crusher" hat, you can smoosh it up and pack it in a bag, though I've never had the heart to actually do so, cos I love my cowgirl hat. It's brown. It keeps raindrops off me. It is my friend.
8. I detest, absolutely loathe (American) football. I am probably the only Lesbian in history to feel this way.
9. I collect stuffed toys, though not like I used to. I favor raccoons and coyotes in particular. I have a huge Felix the Cat.
10. At this very moment, I am wearing Scottie dog pajama bottoms and ancient slippers which were once pink. Grey tee shirt, and a sweater the color of brown sugar. When I was a child, I would agree to do anything, no matter what, if promised a little brown sugar as bounty.
I am tagging Shrinky, at Shrink-Wrapped Scream, and Marty at Dark Star Discovery. Break the chain and you will be forever cursed with combination skin and embarrassing age spots. And an evil midget will follow you around spouting ShamWow commercials. Don't risk it.