Sunday, October 16, 2011

An Interview With Lady Death

I recently had the opportunity to sit down with Lady Death over fraps at Danny's Coffee Shop. Here is the interview!

Shay Caroline: Thank you so much for agreeing to this. Did you have any trouble finding Danny's?

Lady Death: No, I Mapquested it, so getting here was no problem. But...

SC: Yes?

LD: Well, when I tried to find a place to park, all the meters were expired. 

SC: I hate when that happens.

LD: I know, right?

SC: So, other than the meters, what do you think of our little town?

LD: To be honest, honey, it's pretty dead here on a Sunday night.

SC: You're killing me.

LD: It's what I do!

SC: So...have you always been Lady Death? Or did you have other jobs before this one?

LD: I did stand up comedy for a while.

SC: Oh really? And how did that go?

LD: I died out there.

SC: Of course you did. Anything else?

LD: I worked as a gardener.

SC: How long did you do that?

LD: Not long. I had a black thumb. But as you can see, I found a way to make it work for me.

SC: You go, girl. 

LD: Thanks.

SC: Where did all this happen? Where is Lady Death from, originally?

LD: This may surprise your readers, but I am from a rural area just outside of West Branch, Michigan.

SC: Well now, that is surprising. You look so put together, I would have thought you were a big city girl.

LD: Nope.

SC: Do you still have a home there?

LD: No, I don't. There was a developer who had plans for building a retirement community with a big eighteen hole golf course. He bought the farm.

SC: I think a lot of people picture Death as a scary figure wearing a black hood and carrying a scythe, not as a stylish woman wearing an Ann Taylor suit and heels.

LD: Do you like the look?

SC: Yes, very much. The heels, especially, are TDF.

LD: I saw them and they took my breath away. I had to have them.

SC: Your hair looks fantastic, too. Is that your natural shade?

LD: No. I dyed.

SC: Wow, it looks great. You must get noticed a lot.  Are you in a relationship?

LD: I was.

SC: That doesn't sound good. Can you share?

LD: Sure. It started out beautifully. He told me that, when he first saw me, his heart actually skipped a beat. Several beats, in fact.

SC: That sounds exciting! What went wrong?

LD: The feelings died.

SC: If I had to guess, I'd say that this has happened to you before.

LD: It has. But why dig up the past?

SC: Fair enough. So, if you're not out painting the town, what does Lady Death do when she isn't working?

LD: I'm a movie buff.

SC: Really? That's interesting! 

LD: Yes, I watch upwards of a dozen movies a week.

SC: How do you find time to watch so many?

LD: Well...I sort of cheat. I only like to watch the endings.

SC: It's been lovely spending this time with you, Lady Death. 

LD: Are we done?

SC: We are. I'm sorry to cut this short, but I've got a deadline.

LD: Touche, Shay.

SC: I thought you'd like that!


And, in totally unrelated news, just because it's my blog and I can...


ellen abbott said...

Oh, clever girl!

Laurie Kolp said...

Funny... a nice treat, Shay!

Mama Zen said...

This just killed me! Oops!

Christine said...

never figured Lady Death to be so chic, great dialogue

hedgewitch said...

MZ stole my line. So I'll just say, quite the slay ride from Ms May Hem.

Helen said...

Rolling on floor, dying of laughter. ROFDOL

Brian Miller said...

those are nice they are hell on the feet though....

Sioux said...

Shay--You punster, you!

And I agree with Brian. Killer heels.

HermanTurnip said...

I succumbed to the comedy, laughing so much I thought I breathed my last. Kudos!

Scarlet said...

"No. I dyed." That's what Scarlet said. ;)

Chica, this is worth reading over and over again at bedtime. So fun and witty and LIVELY...I love it!

Lolamouse said...

Killer interview Shay! And I love the music and MTM!

Daryl said...

Stop you're killing me ... oh wait everyone else said that .. rimshot!

Lynn said...

I just died laughing. :)

Marion said...

OMG, this just killed me. I'm dying laughing. LOL! Another great write, Shay. xo

Sherry Blue Sky said...

You are so hilarious. And the heels ARE TDF!!

TMarie said...

Hahaha, I just died laughing too!!!

Anonymous said...

bwa ha ha ha ha.....

{{hope you're feeling better Sista Poet! *hugs*}} ♥

Rene/ Not The Rockefellers said...

I love them shoes to death, girl...swear to god

And this post needs a laugh track and a rim shot.

mac said...

I would have thought it was a deadend job, and yet, she is making a killing at it.

And Cake? You may have executed the perfect blog post.

Caty said...

Those heels alone would kill me, even as beautiful as they are! I'm glad death has a sense of humor afterall...this was funny!

Lydia said...

Lady Death really steps out in style. Who ever knew? This was so funny, Shay. Perfectly timed, really rich --and deserving a stage and microphone!

Anonymous said...