Saturday, February 14, 2015

The Girl In The Gorilla Suit

The girl in the gorilla suit
walks on down that ole lonesome road.

At her side is her friend,
dressed as a giant banana.

"This is stupid!" complains the girl in the gorilla suit.
"I've never felt so humiliated!"

"Eat me," says the friend.
"You wish," gripes Girl-rilla.

Down the length of life and through the labyrinth of every day,
comes the overwritten,
the overwhelming,
the sublime and the simian.

Above the door at Danny's Coffee Shop,
a little bell rings.

Chloe the resident serial killer starts to say,
in a high pitched kiddie voice--

"Teacher says that every time a bell rings....
holy shit, it's a gorilla and a giant banana!"
Then she covers her mouth and giggles.

The girl in the gorilla suit starts to turn around to leave, but
Banana Girl grabs her arm and parks her in a booth.

"I'll go get us something," says Banana Girl.
"What'll it be sweethearrrt?"

"A banana smoothie." Girl-rilla is in a sour mood.
Fruit Girl looks hurt, pooches out her lower lip and lets it tremble.

"You're mean," she says with finality,
and spins like a yellow ballerina toward the counter.

Standing there, she is starting to get a headache.
Trying to decide, she puts her hand to her peel, and mutters, "God."


God is general manager of Danny's Coffee Shop,
having worked her way up from drawing menu boards with chalk.

Sitting in the corner, the Succubus starts singing, very softly.
"Day-o. Day-ay-ay-o." With faux innocence.

God smiles at Banana Girl, to distract her,
and believe me, when God smiles it distracts the angels themselves.

"First one's free," she says, handing down the Good News.
"Cool beans," says Banana Annie.

Behind them, some guy wearing a turtleneck sweater and a beret stands up.
He whips out a notebook and reads from it through his sunglasses:

Wild whoop the twisted mask of political murder!
He lifts his finger for emphasis.

Bodies, carnal, knowing, floodlights of--
He is interrupted by a black panther flying through the air.

It is the Queen of the Vampires in black panther form, pouncing.
She drags her kill off to the coat rack and caches it there for later.

"Thanks, girl," chirps Chloe from behind her Rolling Stone magazine.
"Frickin' poets." She considers them almost as bad as golfers. 

The Girl In The Gorilla Suit takes off her gorilla head and sets it on the table.
She's got really bad hat hair, kind of like a spoiled pumpkin.

"You need to shave your legs and your pits, girl," says Banana Annie.
She gets smacked for her trouble, but doesn't spill their coffees.

The coffee at Danny's is the best in the world.
It can start your heart, raise the dead, save your soul, make your day.

Fruit Girl leans across the table and says, "Happy Valentine's Day, babe."
"Awww," says Girl-rilla, blushing. "You make a sappy happy monkey outta me."

All the Danny's girls pretend they didn't hear, but they're smirking,
except for The Queen of the Vampires.

The red hearts all over the place are making her catnippy and crazy.
"Down girl! chides Chloe. But it's no use; she'll be bonkers all day.

Thanks to Mama Zen for the inspiration. She sees girls in gorilla suits!





hedgewitch said...

Always good to get a report from Danny's. This was hilarious, as well as full of great throwaway lines that are sticky as flypaper, like the ones about God and poets. ;_)

Susan said...

Hahaha! Love with a sense of humor and a cup of coffee and a song. Very nice indeed!

Lynn said...

I could see the red hearts all day bothering the Queen. :) Love Danny's Coffee Shop!

Cloudia said...


ALOHA from Honolulu

TexWisGirl said...

a great romp thru all the characters. :)

Kenia Cris said...

Awwn this is so adorable. Great reading for Valentine's Day!

Every Gorilla needs its banana I guess. Let's pray they have them.

Kiss you beautiful girl. <3

my heart's love songs said...

hey! it seems like forever since you've visited Danny's! congrats to god on the promotion ~ she deserves it.

love! love! love this!

Sherry Blue Sky said...

OH! MY! GOD! Such a glorious read this is!!!!!!!!! I love the Danny's Coffee Shop stories.

Mama Zen said...

Doesn't everyone?

Kay L. Davies said...

Wow, Shay, between you and MZ and James Taylor, you really created something that is...something else!
Luv, K

grapeling said...

I'd be so dead. ~