I've caught this bird
with a thorn under its wing
and laid it by your beauty
the same as everything
I've ever brought you.
I've wrought this bell
from soapstone green
with its tongue struck mute
the same as anything
that's ever loved you.
____
for Quadrille #137 at dverse.
There is something haunting about this, a music that plays low but seems to be coming from everywhere at once. I love the slant rhyme, the thorn, the mute green bell, and the gorgeous end lines of the stanzas. Way to rock the form.
ReplyDeleteIt's never easy to strike such poetic balance with precisely 44 words. This is just beautiful.
ReplyDeleteOuch! What a powerful statement. Time to try impressing someone else! Well done.
ReplyDeleteThe bird , the gift, the bell the love, the tongue struck mute... each a gift of wisdom in a brilliant and haunting poem of love . This is another amazing poem from you my friend!!
ReplyDeletetonguestuck. BLAMMO good.
ReplyDeleteWhen I see the crow and how it likes to bring gifts, it makes me think about who the crow chooses to give them to. Are the gifts about the receiver or the crow's need. Thank you for making me wonder...
ReplyDelete!!
ReplyDeleteA sad song in verse - this touches the heart. I love it!
ReplyDelete"haunting" is exactly the right word to describe this work, as some others have written above. This is perfection, Fire Blossom.
ReplyDelete-David [ben Alexander]
I was going to ask if this is the myth you’re referring to, but I think “princess of cold mountain wind” plus your tag “cold comfort” answers my question.
ReplyDeletehttps://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orithyia_of_Athens
It sounds sad, but really I think it’s hopeful—the things you bring can be mended and healed if touched tenderly by the right hand, or cool breeze. One could be rendered speechless for reasons other than being hurt. Perhaps this is beautiful and gasp-caught awe, and maybe a prayer for her to heal these precious offerings.
This is absolutely stellar. I feel it's like living in a quagmire of failed best intentions.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful.
ReplyDeleteA beautiful punch thrown, Shay.
ReplyDeleteShay--It's amazing (but never surprising, since you do it almost eevery time) how you can create such beauty with just a few lines..
ReplyDeleteAnd Tim Buckley's voice went straight to his son--and then some.