Ash is blind and boneless, but flies.
Colored flames flare the leaf that dies.
For a moment, the madman lucid.
Sweet milk in the sun turns putrid.
The bonfire kills the thing it lights.
Ash is blind and boneless, but flies.
You may find that devils may care
To catch and keep you with them there.
The young may sigh, slow, and sicken
to find their tongues gray and thickened.
Ash is blind and boneless, but flies.
A snare denies its bird the skies.
Don't be so proud, sure and boasting.
See the rooster, plucked and roasting.
The grave may loose the one who dies.
Ash is blind and boneless, but flies.
_______
for Sunday Muse #182. This is a quatern. Thanks to LiJade.
At first I thought this was a villanelle or Kyrielle, so thanks for the notation. Form is a wonderful crucible for your images here--the lucid madman, the devils, the snare-- each of which stands alone but folds seamlessly into the whole. (I am also struck that we both used the sicken/thicken rhyme today completely independently--bizarre. ) This has a dark but sweet taste in every line, and I think the refrain is perfect for the image, everything wrapped up in blind bonelessness, which is terrifying in itself. Fine work with form and function, image, meter and rhyme.
ReplyDeleteThe quatern form was amazing here, bringing the ash line back in that shifting refrain. The darkness of blind and boneless, yet the release of "it flies." The whole poem seems like death and hard truth dancing inside that circle you drew in the dirt with a scythe.
ReplyDeleteOh my GOODNESS, this is perfect. LOVE the form, a bit like apantoum, my fave form........each line is a perfect thought, and they all work together seamlessly. Gorgeous and highly skilled writing. Wow.
ReplyDeleteYou have woven yet another gorgeous and haunting poem my friend! The form is the perfect tone to deepen the feel of each line. Simply brilliant!!
ReplyDeleteShay, it reads like an incantation and is creepy as all get out. The form works well for driving the message home. FYI: be sure to check the prompt at dVerse tomorrow (you'll see what I mean.)
ReplyDeleteYes, all that. I'm also astonished you rhymed putrid with lucid. ~
ReplyDeleteI loved every word and thought of Ash, I was totally involved. Then I got to the snare and it jerked me back to reality. Not your writing, I'm just too literal. This is an awesome write and I can appreciate every feeling that it spurts out. Even the poor now flightless bird. But Ash can fly for him.
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