 |
| "Sunday Visitors" by George Hughes |
Everybody's back for the holiday;
Daddy's got his football on and he's
instructing them in the way they should go.
No! No! Up the middle every time!
Flag? What for, refs? Open your eyes!
Today's game brought to you by Target,
Chevy trucks, Placebonol, and Applebee's.
Big brother is blundering around,
chasing the dog with his squeaky.
He steps on little sis's foot--she says, Sorry!
Older sis is opining to cousin Lisa
about her and Kyle's new house and she's
fixing it up just the way it should be.
So these workers doing the tile,
they're hopeless! Mexican or something,
I might as well do it all myself!
Uncle's eyes are more glazed
than last year's ham. Bottoms up!
Mommy's in the kitchen stuffing the kids
and dressing the turkey. She's got spices
on the counter and gin in the cupboard.
No dear, thanks, I don't need any help
unless...could you set the table on the dishes?
Use the good salt and pooper shakers.
Daddy's really angry now, his blood pressure
high and his blood sugar low. Idiots! Dumbbells!
Lisa looks lobotomized. Older sis is still talking.
Everybody's back for the holiday.
The dog drops his toy in the gravy boat;
Rough seas, Cap'n! shouts older bro
as the two of them high-tail it upstairs.
Mommy has basted the kids and taped
the potatoes to the fridge.
I think that looks nice, don't you dear?
We always used to.... do something or...
Daddy shouts, Where's that bird?
Mommy collapses in a kitchen chair, crying.
Big bro and the dog come thundering downstairs.
Lisa has left, Uncle is face-down in the cranberries.
Oh, Kyle, it is chaos here, just chaos.
Are those workers doing the sun room today?
Well why not? Oh, right, I suppose.
Daddy shouts, What's wrong, Lillian?
Mommy falls out of her kitchen chair laughing.
Granny screams, Merry Christmas!
It's Gobble Day, Gramma. Mwah!
------------------
For What's Going On? "Feast"
I'm here cracking up! What a picture you created! Mommy's my favorite character, but they're all perfect. No wonder Granny is confused!
ReplyDeleteI loved this WAY too much. I remember the time my mom dropped the turkey on the floor getting it out of the oven. Alcohol may have been involved. You nailed it, were you looking in on my childhood? I especially love the potatoes on the fridge for some reason..........
ReplyDeleteI loved all of the characters you created, and I can just picture this gathering. The football, the people opining on one thing or another, mother with her gin, granny being confused about which holiday it is! Not sure I would like to be part of that family!!
ReplyDeleteNow, that's a fest of words. Love the jubilant mood of everyone. Grandma's the icing on the cake.
ReplyDeleteWhat a chaotic but likeable scene - for all its dysfunctions! A great read
ReplyDeleteHahaha! Pretty much. “salt and pooper shakers.” so *that’s* the secret to your famous tg ham!!!
ReplyDeleteIs it over?! Pass the Alka-Seltzer! What a hoot.
ReplyDeleteWonderful š You epitomise the high stress levels of "Gobble Day" with such a keen eye. It promises so much doesn't it, and every time it turns out to be a day when so-and-so falls out with so-and-so. I'm not a fan. I mean, I'm not totally bah humbug, but I'm not a fan! š
ReplyDelete