I dug our grave with a silver spade
and a paper bell in the coffin shell--
a bento box where our lines were laid.
I dug our grave with a silver spade
but then in a dream, a kiss delayed
like a sweetly sorrowful gift from Hell--
I dug our grave with a silver spade
and a paper bell in the coffin shell.
_______________
a triolet for Word Garden Word List--The Return of Ellie Black
TLDR:
Dave Van Ronk, in the song Motherless Children, sings these lines:
Dig my grave with a bloody spade when I'm dead
dig my grave with a bloody spade when I'm dead
dig my grave with a bloody spade
make damn sure that the digger gets paid
He also does a song Old Blue about a beloved dog who dies. He sings:
I dug his grave with a silver spade
lowered him down with a golden chain
I kind of combined the two in my triolet, which is not about motherlessness or dogs, but is about an old relationship. The bento box denotes the compartmentalization of it.
In the 19th century, there was a great fear of premature burial. A solution was offered in the form of "safety" coffins, which had a bell above ground attached to a string underground and placed in the corpse's hand. In the event of premature burial, the person could ring the bell to summon help.
Finally--and my process notes are now quite a bit longer than my triolet!--I had a dream recently that a person I had put out of my mind came to me and kissed me tenderly on the cheek, bringing back old feelings, if only in that moment. A paper bell, if you will.
Music: Elton John Funeral for a Friend/ Love Lies Bleeding
A perfect triolet, refreshing an old form and making it yours. I love the image of the bento box, the compartmentalized coffin of memories, the silver spade, the paper bell ringing, everything. I listened to a lot of Dave van Ronk in my misspent youth and remember that old blues tune well. I am also grateful for this sharp and soft poem not being about gratitude, but about loss, mortality and the yearning and fragility a dream can bring.
ReplyDeleteA beautiful triolet. I enjoyed the process notes very much as well. Yikes, re the bell for those prematurely buried. So interesting.
ReplyDeleteShowing off your quite admirable skill! Aloha
ReplyDeleteWhat a clever form and so effective in conveying the atmosphere of your words - they chime - Jae
ReplyDeleteThis is a tight verse, well-rung. I love short poems and this did not disappoint. You packed powerful meaning into this with stark imagery to great effect. I enjoyed your process notes, too. The "safety" coffins are an interesting historical detail. Crazy.
ReplyDeleteI always liked the triolet form, but haven't tried it in a long time. Yours makes me want to give it a try again. Sometimes those old relationships DO find their way back into poetry, don't they? I really like the way you so aptly used the bento box.
ReplyDeleteI love the triolet and how potent the repeating lines are and I also love your process notes and the cool info that brings it all together so wonderfully with that last note of a dream and paper bell that are poetic in themselves.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful writing. I so suck at rhyme, and you do it so well. I love the paper bell.
ReplyDeletePoetry is our golden bell for sure, or at least mine. How often are we buried, how much do we need let others know we are still breathing?
ReplyDelete