Reanimated Lavender Granola Switchblade Nun rides again.

Friday, May 4, 2018

If, In The Morning

If, in the morning
you wake alone,
it is because it has rained while you were sleeping--
drops suspended from pear blossoms
like fruit in dreams.

If, in the morning
you miss me,
let our love be blackbirds' feet
wrapped around stems of marsh grass.
In afternoon, the sliced loaf
drips with blackberry jam. 
_____

A 55 for my BFF.

Thursday, May 3, 2018

Contained

"The only thing I know is that I paint because I need to, and I paint whatever passes through my head without any other consideration." ~ Frida Kahlo

As a small child,
I caught my mind in a jar.
All day, under the sun in the grass blades,
I was monarch,
dandelion,
daddy longlegs. 

That night,
terror held its regularly scheduled circus.
There were lids on every eyelash,
and glass between me and morning.
The tigers said, "Hide in our mouths."
The great ape said, "Hide in my hand."
In their eyes, jars of murder.

People smile and say,
"I wish I could spend an hour inside your head."
Inside, Bengal and Silverback.
Outside
--even still--
monarch,
dandelion,
daddy longlegs
and my face against the glass.
_____ 

for Susie's goose at Toads. 

Image: "Ophelia" by Antoine Auguste Ernest Hebert
 

Monday, April 30, 2018

The Bright Coin Of Forgiveness

At the north central bus station,
fashioned from the rib of a skyscraper,
sat an overcoated old man gasping in a mild breeze
of exhaust, apple blossoms, and cigarette smoke.

He tugged at the strap of my bag as if I were the signal to get off. 
"Take this," he said,
his eyes marbling up.
First, he drew a morning glory vine from his sleeve.
It made me queasy to imagine
where the root of it might be,
twining into the gray, dying husk of him.

"Don't encourage him," my mother's gone voice
jabbered in my ear,
correct, picked clean, horrible.
"No thank you," I said, borrowing a tongue.

Next, the palsied old fool produced a large, bright coin from a huge pocket.
Goddess only knows what lives in there,
minting rot and 78rpm records with knifey names
and purple labels.
"Take it!" he urged, holding it at me.

The bus station vendors will sell you anything--
tired sodas, foreign brides,
pills, candy, ID's, bird bones.
My sticky companion probably got his coin in change
when he bought a last breath
with wishes and turpentine.

"It's the Bright Coin of Forgiveness."
He looked like an open bible.

I wondered if I could take the coin,
file it down,
and split somebody's skull with it.
Someone who'd toyed with my heart,
or raised me 
in a pen with the starved cats
out back.

Just like that, the old nutjob died,
leaking oil,
dangling on the far end of instant erasure.

His coin fell.
I picked it up
quick as a juiced bus station sparrow,
and set it carefully over his good eye.

"I forgive you," I whispered,
though he had done nothing to me.
Everyone made a path for me to the 415
and in that moment I felt
celestial,
divine,
and so utterly alone.
_____

for Bjorn's goose at Real Toads.



"marbling"

I wrote thirty poems
celebratory haiku
counts as the last one

Sunday, April 29, 2018

In The Dry Year


In the tavern,
their glasses are full of sand--
they are as thirsty as widows,
eyeless starfish stranded and reaching.


Mrs. Jeffers keeps all weathers in a box
that closes with a clasp made from metal and bone.
The war is over--
her son lives in the shrubbery now,
beneath her shaded window,
saluting the rain.


All hymns began as drinking songs.
In biblical deserts they use whips and wooden wheels
to build women who wear
bonnets made from corn husks
in the dry year
of splinter and wasp.


In the tavern,
they have sung so much
that the beach is down to bedrock.
Mermaids drunk on moonlight come in on
wine-tides,
and the silver of their scales signals to distant ships
outlined against the moon,


Carrying tongueless sailors
who wave tasseled caps,
hoping their journey
is through.
______

Kill All Monsters

Mirror, mirror on the wall--
be honest with me one more time
before you go blind;
before I disappear and you start to lie. 

I am ugly,
so they say and have said
for as far back as my memory reaches.
The unkind ask straight-out,
"Were you in an accident?"
The kind remark on my beautiful eyes
and let the rest hang in the air like lost birds.

It's a great day for my mother,
hiding in her space suit of conventionality. 
The doctor in whom she has such faith--
who treats me like a block of wood
and speaks as if I weren't sitting right there--
thrills her when he holds my nose up with his thumb
and she gushes 
that now I look like her darling, my sib.

Mirror, mirror
tell it to me straight, as a sweet sixteen gift
before you lose the truth forever
and I vanish into this involuntary shift.

I know that others find me ugly
and that my mother finds me ugly
because she comes right out and says so.
But I am not ugly to myself--
I am simply me.

After tomorrow,
after blood and blades and anesthetic,
someone will heal and go back to school and marry and grow old,
but she won't be me.
I'll be riding inside, in my island prison, unseen.
Someone will say, "You look so pretty,"
and it will mean nothing to me,
it having been said about someone else,
this mask-face I can never take off even for a second.  

Mirror, mirror,
tell me the truth before you deceitfully bend--
before I submit to the will of others
and am never seen again.
_______

Dedicated to the disfigured, the different, the intersexed, and all children whose bodies are altered without their consent.

And in memory of Lucy Grealy, author of "Autobiography Of A Face." In the arms of the angels, Beautiful.

For Fireblossom Friday "This Is (Almost) The End" at Toads.

Image at top: Adele Exarchopolous from the movie "Blue is The Warmest Color" 

Saturday, April 28, 2018

Kiss That Frog

Hi.

You can trust me.

I'm just a dinky froggy on a flower.
I'm green as a banker's front lawn.
Cute as a bug.
Sweet as a pond in the morning in May.

You aren't French, are you?
Frere Jacques, frere Jacques , dormez-vous?
Um...
Alouette, gentille alouette
je te plumerais?
Non?
Good.

Look at my feet.
Look at them! Orange!

I've got eyes bigger than my brain.
Bigger than my body!
Are the stars out tonight?
I don't know if it's cloudy or bright...
Gee, I like you.
Pick me up!

Hey...
want to know a secret?
I'm really a handsome prince.
Pucker up, buttercup!
MMMMMMMmwah! Mwah!
Mw--
Um...
why are you not kissing me?

What do you mean you ran a background check?
What do you mean you searched ManHater.com?
It said what????
No, that's a mistake. 
That's not me.
That's my....cousin.
Honest!

Hey, don't go, we just---

Ah well.
Oh, looky here, who's this?
Pretty Woman, walking down the street...

Hi.
_______

for Margaret's "Let's Join The Children" goose at Toads.

the artwork is by a 10 year old 4th grader, and it is completely adorable.

 
 

Friday, April 27, 2018

Our Bear

Our bear
smells like an old cottage rug;
is partial to sleep
and us
and loaf
and jug.

Our bear
dreams of honey hives;
leaves the shine of
Ursa Major
and Minor
in our eyes.

Our bear
is our bruin castle keep;
we whisper in his ears
one left
 one right
constellated, constant, sweet. 
_______

for my BFF's weekly 55 thang