*June 30th, 1985, Michael Phelps born in Maryland, USA.
*2008 Summer Olympic Games, Michael Phelps wins eight gold medals in swimming. Many endorsements follow.
*A short time after the Olympic Games, Phelps appears on a video, smoking marijuana from a hookah pipe or similar apparatus. Some endorsement deals are cancelled.
*July, 2009. Michael Phelps is linked romantically with singer Amy Winehouse. A tumultuous tabloid affair ensues.
*August, 2009. Michael Phelps and Amy Winehouse split.
*August 2009. Michael Phelps regrets the tattoo he got last month.
*September, 2009. Michael Phelps appears on Celebrity Jeopardy!, loses.
*November, 2009, Michael Phelps releases a tell-all book. Sales are marginal, but the pages are waterproof.
*December, 2009. Michael Phelps receives another DUI, loses license.
*December 2009. Michael Phelps crashes his moped on Christmas eve, killing a squirrel. PETA stages a protest march and Phelps receives death threats.
*January 2010. In an attempt to revive his flagging celebrity, Phelps appears on a tv game show called "Fibbin' Amphibians!" Ratings are poor.
*March 2010. Swims upstream, spawns.
*November, 2010. Phelps attempts a movie career, accepting the lead in a film entitled "Creature From The Black Lagoon 2011." He wears a lumpy green costume and nearly drowns during filming when it is discovered that the suit is absorbent, causing the wearer to sink like a stone when submerged. Amy Winehouse also has a small part in CFTBL2011.
*Sued by PETA, Phelps finds himself in financial difficulty. He takes a job selling High Times door to door to make ends meet.
*2011-2012--Phelps drifts in and out of rehab and assorted affairs with series of troubled blond pop singers.
*October 15th, 2013. Phelps' body is discovered in a Motel Six in Paterson, New Jersey, having drowned in the bath tub. The maid is quoted as saying, "He looked kind of familiar."
*October 2nd, 2014. Moses Lang, a rookie for the New York Mets, becomes the first MLB player to hit .400 since Ted Williams in 1941, turning in a nifty .407 batting average. The world is his oyster.