Wednesday, April 29, 2009

He's Dead, Jim



He's dead, Jim.

Slick-talker Johnny Walker gentleman gin,

He's dead.

My friend from the beginning,

Just like we'd known each other forever

He made everything better

Made my mother finally just

Shut up

Shut up

Shut up

But now,

He's dead, Jim,

A penny for the old guy.


He's dead, Jim,

But he listened when I said,

I cannot be ugly

And I cannot be queer

Look at me on the tightwire between denial and self-destruction,

Anybody'd need a drink

If this was what they did all day,

But now

He's dead, Jim,

And the circus has left town.


He's dead, Jim,

But there was a time when I loved him

And would have done anything just to be with him

Johnny Angel,

How I love him

And I'm hopin' someday he'll love me...

What of it,

If he took me places no lady should be,

White faced and bloody kneed?

What of it,

If he kept trying to throw me out of the car at the asylum, the penitentiary, the morgue?

What of it,

If he left me alone and not knowing my own name

Passed out on the rolling lawns at dawn?

It's a fine and private place.

He's dead, Jim,

But I can still feel his embrace.


He's dead, Jim,

Now I have new friends,

Coffee, books, and my own thoughts.

I have raised a child without him

And I hope,

Done some good in the world.

Even though the grave stays fresh,

He's dead, Jim,

Lo these twenty-three years.


He's dead, Jim,

But now I know

There will never be enough love

Enough chocolate

Enough sex

Enough anything

To make the longing that started it go away.

I don't believe

In cures

In congregations

Or in Yoko and me

That's not reality

But I have come to believe that a power greater than myself can restore me to sanity

And I am grateful for every grace that's given,

Because

He's not dead, Jim,

Only

Waiting...

_________

18 comments:

Kristin H. said...

"I have raised a child without him"

I love that part.

Shadow said...

have you touched a string... excellent writing girlie girl!

Fireblossom said...

Thanks, Kristin. I am really glad that my son has never once had to see me drunk. That's important, a gift I have been able to give him.

Thanks, Shadow! Makin' me smile here. Hey, who else do you know who could rip off, er, I mean reference, Star Trek, Shelly Fabares, T.S Eliot, Andrew Marvell, John Lennon and Leon Russell, all in one poem? ;-)

K said...

I really enjoyed this one.

I'm still rolling it around my mind.

It bought to mind a particularlly controlling ex-boyfriend. The kind of guy I'm thankful dumped me before I became someone I hate.

(I'm married to a Jim, but thankfull he's wonderful.)

Daryl said...

Only you could get all those references rolled into one perfect poem ... and make me feel it

G-Man said...

Fireblossom...
Holy shit can you ever write!!!
What a masterpiece.
Say...On Fridays the gang and I have a little fun with only 55 words. You need a central character, a plot, and EXACTLY 55 words to tell your story.
Although there are no real rules, and some folks just do poetry.
Think about it...Please?
You are truely a treasure, thanks for sharing a little of your brilliance with us....G

Riot Kitty said...

Wow. Again.

T said...

Shay, I have come to the conclusion, you can write about absolutely anything, and it is always brilliant!! Just BRILLIANT! You wow me every time!

Brosreview said...

Very well-written this one!!!

david mcmahon said...

Great work, Shay.

Mama Zen said...

My jury is still out on the "enough chocolate" thing . . .

Fireblossom said...

Oh geez, Mama Zen is the French judge! ;-)

pheromone girl said...

Fantastic. It's funny how a little thing like distilled potatos can overtake our world. You should be so proud to have won that one!

Love the Star Trek references!!!

quilldancer said...

Outstanding! No wonder David picked this for his post of the day.

I spent 14 years married to an alcoholic -- and 10 years getting over it. Most days now I am sane. I seldom drink. Even my occasional glass of wine with dinner rarely gets finished.

quilldancer.com

Merisi said...

Congratulations on winning David's Authorblog Post of the Day award for this poignant memoir-poem.
Good luck to you and your son,
M.

Gaston Studio said...

Congrats on winning David's POTD. Your poem stirred me.

Pouty Lips said...

#1 POTD! Congrats - you deserve it.

Thumbelina said...

Fantastic writing. Brilliant insights. Well done.