Friday, January 8, 2010

Violent Squirrel



Violent Squirrel is on the run--

"They should have just let me use the bird feeder," she reasons, still peeved.

Leaving the carnage behind, Violent Squirrel perches on a tree limb and takes a moment to examine her resentments.

"I am denied access to major department stores and salons;

They say to me, 'You can't come in here. You're a squirrel!' and they chase me out the door with brooms or try to catch me in painful traps.

It's true, I am a squirrel,

But now I am Violent Squirrel,

The ultimate outsider, a revolutionary rodent!"


Violent Squirrel's agenda:


  • Disrupt traffic and commerce

  • Bring down the patriarchy

  • Tease that one dog

Violent Squirrel hears sirens in the distance.


Violent Squirrel says, "I'm in your yard, eating your bird seed. Try and stop me."


You go, squirrelfriend.


_______

17 comments:

mac said...

Oh, that poor one dog.
All she wishes to do is eat violent squirrel.

Riot Kitty said...

Revolutionary rodent! I love it! I half expected to see the squirrel spider from Bob's blog here.

Secretia said...

I have worked in places with some people who were like those bad squirrels!

RachelW said...

I feel a bit like violent squirrel myself, today. I wonder what subversive act I should perform.

staceyjwarner said...

I almost ran over bad squirrel yesterday, yikes!

much love

Mama Zen said...

If they had only given her the right to marry her squirrelfriend, all of this could have been avoided!

Ily said...

A revolutionary rodent indeed! I love everything about this post, including the Violent Squirrely-brown text color!

♪ ♫ Got Bruises on My Knees for You... ♫ ♪

Talon said...

So now I know who is responsible for driving Charlie (one of my dogs) crazy. I do feel for Violent Squirrel though. It's tough to be a rodent in our society.

Dulce said...

You are a real rebel, aren't you?
And I love squirrels... away from my garden, though- Once on the beach one stole my bikini (panties > nude area) and had it for lunch!!!!

ellen abbott said...

Well, you made me laugh today. Go squirrelfriend.

K said...

We have a ton of squirels in our yard. I knew they were plotting something.

Jannie Funster said...

a grape in a cape
watched prunes beneath the moon
dancing with peaches on beaches

and skwirrles

Joanna Jenkins said...

Now that you mention "squirrels" I just realized we have almost none in my neighborhood. We have big, nasty crows instead.

This squirrel looks VERY determined. I'd stay out of his way.

xo

The romantic query letter and the happy-ever-after said...

I don't care for squirrel and I'll tell you why. When I was a little girl one jumped in my friends Dell's hair without provocative and it was a super Violent Squirrel. I never recovered and neither did she.
You have a lovely weekend,
Simone

Gabriella Moonlight said...

OMG I LOVE this..."squirrelfriend" great!

I feel that way about my dogs too, they can't go anywhere with me...no restaurants, no malls, etc...so I see the squirrels predicament well.

Thank you for the smile and the brilliant picture!

love
g

Elizabeth Bradley said...

We just moved into this house a few months ago and the yard was full of violent ground squirrels, my female cairn terrier Bonnie Jean, (think Toto), has run the little beasts outa town (into the next yard)

Pouty Lips said...

Civil unrest of the squirrel - brilliant!