Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Cindy & The Unfortunate Birthday Cake

Cindy did for the birthday cake.
Damn the thing anyway,
As if enough Bisquick and bullshit could 
Make her husband keep his dipstick where it belongs,
And keep her kids from going wrong,
And make everything as orderly as the numbered pages of a Redbook magazine,
Lined up flush and sequential,
Not loonbat crazy in the middle of the afternoon.

Cindy did for the birthday cake
With a ginormous honking big knife
Longer than a mother in law's memory,
And someone's got to answer for that,
For the gashes in the easy to clean table cloth
And the fucked up frosting
And anything and everything that Cindy faked since forever,
Like interest and orgasms and staying sober until five.

Cindy did for the birthday cake,
And it felt hella good.

for the dverse Tuesday night cattle call

my 300th Word Garden post of 2011 


Anonymous said...

The picture is scary, the poem is scary, and yet I couldn't stop laughing at this.

With a ginormous honking big knife
Longer than a mother in law's memory,

That defies words to describe it ;-)

Anonymous said...

Ah sweet rage against the marital machinery of middle-class mid-age middle-muddled self-erasure. Your aim is true. -- Brendan

Lynn said...

Do you feel better now??? :) Oh my!

Anonymous said...

That's pretty troubled! A deeply upsetting situation you have portrayed here.

nene said...

I've witnessed this type of birthday celebration and birthday cake cutting ceremony more common place than not. Especially after the second year of 'marriage'.

I hope this was cathartic for you as it was for a few to read.

Lolamouse said...

That was one hella good write! Kinda reminded me of Liz Phair's "Canary" from Exile in Guyville.

K9friend said...

Birthday cakes will never look the same to me again!

Critter Alley

Daryl said...

Poor cake .. poor Cindy ..

Mary said...

This gave me the chills. Starting with the picture!! Thankfully, I don't have a birthday coming up. LOL.

Dianne said...

lovin' it!
I can feel the rage
have felt the rage

I agree with your observations on my last post and loved the way you put it
I also loved your top 5

ellen abbott said...

Go Cindy!

Marion said...

I like Cindy. I think she's my double first cousin. Tee-Hee. LOVE this, Shay. xo

Mama Zen said...

Oh, my God! It's me!

Eric 'Bubba' Alder said...

Okay, who wants some cake? :)

Shawna said...

You really crack me up. :) Nice closing ...

"Like interest and orgasms and staying sober until five" You gave me quite the laugh.

Cake is gross anyway. I'm glad she slashed it up.

Timoteo said...

"Bisquick and bullshit"

I love that. (But I don't want to eat that cake!)

Caty said...

looks (and sounds)like she's been finally pushed off the deep end!

Titus said...

Good read, and there's a rhythm in there I liked a lot too.

hedgewitch said...

Freakin hilarious. Insane, but hilarious.

Heaven said...

Whew what a cake celebration it turned out to be ....ha..ha...enjoyed this post ~

Anonymous said...

Not such a stretch; some days I enjoy beating eggs.

Grandmother said...

What a combination of funny and scary. I liked it!

gautami tripathy said...

You kinda made my day!!

elemental pulsations

Anonymous said...

you really don't like Redbook, do you? {smile}

i like the "ginormous honking big knife" ~ it WOULD feel kinda good to just stab and jab and.... oh! sorry. {ahem} great poem, Shay!