Reanimated Lavender Granola Switchblade Nun rides again.

Monday, December 19, 2011

Word Garden's 1,000th Post!

The woman with the camera was getting exactly nowhere. She was standing inside Danny's Coffee Shop, trying to get a good shot of the Queen Of The Vampires, but every picture just showed wall, tables, coffee cups. No QOTV. She gave her camera a little shake, then smacked her forehead.

"Vampire," said Daryl with an eye roll. "No mirrors. No pictures. What was I thinking?"

The QOTV smirked as only a Vampire Queen in black panther form can, and went on shredding another booth. 

"Chica, hold still, I want to draw you!" Scarlet's always drawing someone.

Over by the counter, the waitresses God and Denise were chattering with Chloe--the resident serial killer and multiple felon--and The Succubus.

"I've got Mama Zen's," said Denise.

"Chick's hot!" sighed Chloe. "Hey," she said, turning to the Succubus, "you ever get into her dreams?"

"Nope," replied the Succubus, her eyes hidden behind big dark glasses. "I can't get past the buffalo blanket and the dog."

Chloe put on a mock pout. "Poooor Suk-oo-buss!"

"Oh shut the fuck up," muttered the Succubus mildly. It was morning, and she was feeling mellow after a long night of stealing souls.

Meanwhile, the kitten Giuseppe Verdi was rolling around on a tabletop with Stripey, a customer's cat, much to the amusement of Savanna, the teenage runaway.

The Succubus moved smoothly across the room, after perfunctorily flipping off Chloe, and sat down dramatically at a table next to a woman wearing nearly identical sunglasses. "'re so diviiiiiiiiiiiiine!" They looked like twins.

Behind them, a woman was leaning out of the doorway, screeching at some kids. "Get off my sidewalk!" She turned around and sat back down. "I'm never going to finish this poem!"

"What is it about?" Chloe asked Hedgewitch, for it was none other. 

"'s about an incubus who shows up on a brush hog and seduces a girl who has three heads and twelve arms. Here, read it..."

Chloe read it as the denizens of Danny's swirled around her.

"Do you think it's too sweetsy cutesy? I could put some bats in it..."

Chloe shook her head. "It's perfect."

"Are you sure my mother in law will be turned into a toad?" asked Lolamouse anxiously, peering into the pouch she'd just been given by Denise. 

"She's as good as green."

Just then, a streaking black blur flew through the air and into a booth. It was the QOTV, who had just spotted the Dark Haired Chick. She landed with a happy thump and toppled them both over backwards where they disappeared into the seat. 

"Get offa me, you crazy spaz!" said the DHC, but she was laughing.

"Shhh! Everybody!" It was Chloe. She had moved over by the window, which had been designed by Ellen, and was intent upon something out in the street. "Silent treatment!"

The little bell over the door rang and the mail lady walked in. You could hear a pin drop. Nobody looked up.

"Wow, what's wrong with you guys?" she asked as she dumped a bunch of crap on the counter. "Here's your mail!"

The Succubus blew a smoke ring. Chloe examined a fingernail. God and Denise filled the napkin holders without looking up. 

"Okay!" But before she could get out the door, everybody yelled, 

"Happy one thousandth post, Shay!!!!"

"Aw shucks, you guys!"

Then a single voice rose above the others. 

"My Redbook! It finally came!"

Who knows what wonders may occur at Danny's Coffee Shop in the next one thousand posts???


  1. smiles...perfect for your 1000th post shay...congrats...always enjoy our visits to Danny's

  2. Bitchin post. This is my favorite place to hang out in the whole world--or wherever it is. I know if I were really at Danny's all of my poems would come out magically perfect--or else snarling, dripping with blood and coughing hairballs.
    Happy One Thousandth Post, Shay!!
    (What do you mean, somebody just said that? Must have been while I was yelling at those damn brats..I distinctly saw one drop his nosering on the pavement where a person could step on it--uck! these days...*mumblegrkcurse*)

  3. CONGRATS, mail-carrier-poet!!

    Sure wish I coulda been there-

    Aloha from Honolulu
    Comfort Spiral

    > < } } ( ° >


    < ° ) } } > <

  4. Well that was just perfect for your 1000th post!

  5. Congrats on your 1000th post! Danny's is my favorite place to hang out with some of my favorite characters! That pouch with the toad potion will most definitely come in handy - a perfect holiday gift!

  6. A perfect post for your 1,000th---just as I predicted.

    Another visit to Danny's before 2011 finishes up---superb!

  7. Congrats Shay ~

    Hope you continue writing, your voice is one of the kind ~

  8. awesome, Shay! That was a fun visit...can't wait for more. Happy 1000th post!

  9. oh that was fun
    congrats on your 1000th post
    such good writing

  10. Congrats on 1,000 posts, Shay!

    (I just checked: I'm only half way there myself)

  11. Of course, it had to be at Danny's coffee shop! A most perfect 1000th post, especially with that new artist chick character. Kissess.

  12. I am SOOO excited ... I am at Danny's! Dream come true .. now I need to really find a Danny's to get pix of .. I'll remember not to take a camera that uses mirrors ... happy 1000th posts to you dear Shay!!!!

  13. I knew it was going to be good, but you have outdone yourself. I loved and lapped up every word, succubus-like, come to think of it..........sigh. I am now replete. I so look forward to the next thousand. Your writing makes me VERY VERY happy!!!!!!!!!!

  14. Now I know why Stripey had an especially smirky-smirk on his face this morning, Shay ;)

    Congrats on your 1000th amazing post!

    Love me some Danny's Coffee Shop. Christmas came early. Thank you! :)

  15. Hi Shay ;-) Congratulations on your 100th post! I enjoyed your previous Christmas post. The video was lovely - quite the contrast to Danny's Coffee Shop. Nice to see the picture you posted of yourself, beautiful! Tall is so great; my daughter is 5'10" (age 42). I don't think young girls like being taller than most others though ...
    Loved that you stopped by just to say Hi ... wishing you a peaceful Holiday.

  16. Ooops! Sorry, that should read 1000th!

  17. Perfect! Of course, it had to be Danny's! Congratulations on 1000!

  18. super-duper congratulations on your thousandth, Shay! oh! 1000th post? i thought it was your 1000th.... never mind....

    love Danny's! {not that i've ever been invited there} {not that i care} {sniffle}

    happy ho-ho-holidays!

  19. Ha ha, that was fun! Congratulations on 1000 posts!!

  20. Brava 1000 times for your 1000th post!

  21. WOW. I can't believe I got to visit Danny's in person. I can't imagine The Succubus had "hearts" on her sunglasses. Now, that would be interesting:~)

    Oh, Shay...happy 1000th post. I'm sorry I'm so late getting here and answering your nice note. You are truly the most amazing poet/writer I know. You are so prolific and what's me green with envy is that it's all GOOD writing! I don't how you do it.

    Have a happy holiday. I look forward to finding out what DOES happen at Danny's in 2012. This date itself could be lots of fun for Danny' never knows:~)


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