Reanimated Lavender Granola Switchblade Nun rides again.

Monday, March 26, 2012

The Picnic At The End Of The World

At the picnic at the end of the world,
there were volcanoes at our backs, a deluge at our feet,
and wailing and gnashing of teeth across the land.

There were no s'mores.

An angry God split the clouds and came down
on a bright silvery bolt of lightning,
grabbing Sinner Jim by his shirt collar and shaking him.

He dropped his barbecue tongs.

Battalions of imps and angels teemed in the park,
bringing the hounds of hell down upon
the wicked and the just alike.

They ignored the "no pets after 5pm" sign.

Then came a mighty roar, and the picnic park was washed
in flame, turning the hot dogs and hamburgers to cinders,
and burning every green thing down to the ground.

The city crew will not need to mow this week.

Let the judgement of the picnic park at the end of the world
be a stern lesson to you to change your ways;
turn off the computer, go out and do good.

God will get all up in your grille if you don't.
for Real Toads Weekend Challenge. 
Photo by Kat Mortensen  


  1. I loved the play on words of this line: "There were no s'mores." No more chocolate and marshmallow treats, and no more of anything.

    "Sinner Jim." What a wonderful name.

    This image was brilliant (not a surprise, considering the source): "Battalions of imps and angels teemed in the park,
    bringing the hounds of hell down uponthe wicked and the just alike."

    What a whimsical tidbit: "The city crew will not need to mow this week."

    And you ended with another play on words: "God will get all up in your grille if you don't."

    (How come all I write is crap this early in the morning? What do you add to that Bolthouse Farms Vanilla Chai Tea to get that kind of inspiration?)

  2. Issues with texting; back soon to comment at length on your incredibly brilliant take I the photo!

  3. ha...someone visted a southern baptist church this weekend i the pun at th end...i am off to repent of my wicked ways...

  4. Ooh! You called it on the boiling lava and rising flood.. the picture has I kind of moment after the rapture feel about it, but only you could put it into words.

  5. There is not a single thing about this that I do not love!

    "There were no s'mores; He dropped his barbecue tongs; "no pets after 5pm".

    Oh, but "The city crew will not need to mow this week" just had me gasping!

    The last line is "buck"!


  6. I did .. I got out and it still rained icy rain and blew nasty mean cold wind

  7. No s'mores indeed. and God "getting all up in your grille" it!

  8. Hmmm! The waft is wonderful, I'll take mine on a bun. One will have to clean the grill, though :p

  9. Loved the one-liners: s'mores, tongs, grille. Ha!

  10. So sayeth the word. Beautiful, sweeping satire.

    I like how after every plagues sent there was at least a small silver lining.

    Perfect for the season of (excel)Lent! - Mosk

  11. Sorry I missed this with my morning coffee--not that I would have turned off my computer, as I am already much damned to hell anyway--fortunately I read your old one so I still started the day laughing. This all seems strangely familiar--maybe it's how I see the world all the time--and I felt right at home at this picnic, and look! No ants!

  12. Oh hell of a BBQ! Fun to read...

  13. You kill me. You absolutely kill me.

  14. Always a silver lining. If only... All the same, a top tale!

  15. Especially liked the glib asides! Turning off my computer now, cause... well you said so.

  16. you're just always way over my head, dear shay! :)

  17. Oh, gosh, this is so good--from God coming down on the lightbolt and shaking sinner jim, to the imps ignoring the no pets after 5 pm sign, to the turn of your computers and do good...


Spirit, what do you wish to tell us?