"Imagine yourself in the safest place you've ever known. Let yourself sink into the details. Feel the texture, the temperature. See the angle of the light. Breathe deep . . .
And, tell me about it in 53 words or less."
Okay. Here it is, in exactly 53 words!
She had a voice so right she could make the Moon sneak to meet her on the down low--
So new-car fur-cuffs fine she could make concubines cry and quit for jealous.
But that night, she soothed me sweet,
a mother for the mother-hungry...
the perfect gift, and I
From amazing opening gambit, good no great, to the last drop.ReplyDelete
Brilliant. Perfection. Sigh. "a mother for the mother-hungry". So good.ReplyDelete
Pure awesomeness! The words flowed into each other from the first to the last.ReplyDelete
Oh yes!! Add two words and give it to the G-Man tomorrow night! What a gift.ReplyDelete
It's amazing what an entity in itself a voice can be--some are truly remarkable vehicles for the soul who is carried by them--here we have voice and soul and comfort, and perhaps something a bit hotter as well, all in the same smooth limosine. Lovely, Shay.ReplyDelete
Fantastic job! Anything that can make concubines cry is a-okay in my book. Heh...ReplyDelete
I need to find a site that has fiction writing challenges. Have you ever seen such a website?
Just freakin' perfect.ReplyDelete
Shay, this is so sexy, sensual... and I can see how this would be your perfect safe place. AND you can play there, too!! Hotcha! AmyReplyDelete
:)beautiful meaning at the end!!ReplyDelete
Very sexy love it!ReplyDelete
Ah, the uniquely amazing thing great sex can do. She was a gem.ReplyDelete
New-car fine - what a great word choice! Gets so many of the senses right there - sight, touch, smell!ReplyDelete
She's too fine to pair with soothing- mothering...you see my heart's conflicted but that's personal...it doesn't lessen the gift or the giver or your poetic rendering which is fabulous, (as always), Shay. :)ReplyDelete
This is a lovely piece!!ReplyDelete
I love the way the vowels resound in these lines - gives an underlying poetic sound to your words.ReplyDelete
Another one hit out of the ballpark, Shay! Perfection.ReplyDelete
i can see/feel that unforgetablenessReplyDelete
How much safer can it get than "soothed me sweet, a mother for the mother-hungry" ?ReplyDelete
But I love the description of her voice, and "new car fur-cuffs fine" made me smile. Delightful, Shay!
LOVE your safest place, SP!ReplyDelete
I like your idea of safe being a person rather than a place, and love your images!ReplyDelete
Am I naive or is there more than singing going on here? :) The innuendos are very sensual. Love how you personified the moon that would sneak to meet her ...ReplyDelete
53 very impressive words!ReplyDelete