Tuesday, July 21, 2015


What's with the weather, anyway?
If I wanted to live in some sweltering buggy outpost, 
I would wear a pith helmet and talk nonsense about rare beetles;
do you see me doing those things?
Doesn't National Geographic handle all that?

I have caught myself in a few rare moves lately, though, I admit.
I blame it on losing sleep.
I never know anymore whether I will put a sachet in the guest room drawers,
a bag of dog poop,
or one of Muffin's dead mice.

Behold the end of the world, when fey devils employ a single match
to devour, with light, all that is, and then almost delicately, 
throw the bar,
lock the latch.

Signs of The End are everywhere, not just the tv weather.
Have you seen Trudi Beauty Queen lately?
She's about the size of a zeppelin, and isn't even blonde anymore.
All day, she screams at the help in German,
while stuffing eclairs into her mouth like shells into field artillery.

I think, if it would snow, my chi would center and I could be my usual self again.
Instead, I have to wear sunglasses so huge that I look like a Mars probe,
and I can't see a blessed thing, sidewalk from six-lane,
Trudi from a tarantula,
Greek yogurt from green tea facial mask.

Perdition arrives on the arm of Despair, in evening's early gloaming
announced and feted, by Chinese lantern light,
to faces slack,
and ashy white.

I think I'll throw on a caftan, hire some sherpas to carry the tea cakes,
and go visit Bitsy Henderson, to have her administer a test,
running her finger back and forth in front of my eyes.
She'll tell me, if I'm a little off,
and whip out her planner to tell me that summer isn't forever--

only alimony, crow's feet, and naturally, us. 


Anonymous said...

Loved it.. and yes NatGeo is supposed to handle that :)

Sanaa Rizvi said...

Signs of The End are everywhere, not just the tv weather.

Such wise words. The end is near.. sometimes I can feel it in my bones.
Excellent write!

Lots of love,

hedgewitch said...

I particularly like the italicized sections. You get the whole jumbled up feel of a time that is rolling out of control downhill, shaking up and changing everything it carries.

LL Cool Joe said...

I've heard all about the things that Bitsy likes to whip out. :D

Abin Chakraborty said...

fascinating mix of a variety of details in several different tenors. I especially liked the final punchline.brilliant as usual/

Marion Lawless said...

Hilarious! I love it.

Oh-vey, doll, you's oughta live here in da swamp where gators, bullfrogs & skeeter hawks are knockin' on mah door axin' for a cool drinka water!! Louisiana summers are like childbirth...you forget the pain till the next one comes a'roastin' your ass!! xo

Blogoratti said...

Brilliant read, nice!

Mama Zen said...

Definitely us.

Buddah Moskowitz said...

You, me and crow's feet - now, that's a party! I'll be glad when summer's over. La La mosk

Buddah Moskowitz said...

You, me and crow's feet - now, that's a party! I'll be glad when summer's over. La La mosk

Sherry Blue Sky said...

I love this! And - is it possible? - I miss Bitsy Henderson!

Marcoantonio Arellano said...

perdition is veiled but all around

Marian said...

Green tea facial mask? Would this help?!?

Kerry O'Connor said...

Having your poem back to back with Brendan's I am starting to feel not a little disquieted. Poets are the prophets of their age and the signs are not good.

Sara said...

This was a perfect poem for me to read as I slowly return to blog land. I laughed and you know how very much I love to laugh.

I feel like I'm a vampire right now. I step outside and start to burn. I have all my shades down, keeping the house as cool as possible. Aggie doesn't even move. She finds a spot (inside) and all I is the occasionally slow blink of a green eye that lets me know she's still with the living.

I missed reading your poems and glad to be back catching up.

Lynn said...

Ha! I laughed, too. :)