Reanimated Lavender Granola Switchblade Nun rides again.

Saturday, August 8, 2020

Buck Moonskull, Private Eye

 Buck Moonskull, private eye

slugs down a spring water, heaves his hooves up on his desk, and coolly sizes up his client.

What a dame. 

Big "who, me?" brown eyes behind long lashes and a come-hither look. Buck laid odds they'd be sharing a salt lick before this case was over. 

"Jane Doe," she said when he asked her name.

"Sure, dollface." Did she think he was born yesterday? Why, it had to have been three years ago now. He watched a blush creep up that perfect face.

"I--" she began.

"Stow it, Toots," said Buck Moonskull, a little sharply. He didn't like being played with.

"I know who you are. I'm not the kind of flatfoot who can't see the forest for the trees." Buck picked up a cheap plastic folder and waved it. "Does the name Bambi mean anything to you, doll?"

"Where did you--"

"You're his mother. Don't bother to deny it. Oh sure, that faked death scheme paid off when Stag Antlersen copped the insurance money. I'm on to you sister."

A sly smile played around the edges of her kissable lips as she drew the .22 and purred, "So. You found out about Stag." She raised an eyebrow. "You're good, dear. But not good enough." She raised the gun and, as fast as a landlord on rent day, Buck Moonskull dipped his rack and knocked it away with a practiced swipe of a his 8 points.

"I must have been crazy to try to con a con," stammered Ms. Doe. 

"Lunacy," said Buck Moonskull as a gold halo of light shone above his head, like tacky foil on the neck of a bottle of drug store champagne. He picked up the black rotary phone from his desk and, gesturing with it, asked, "Do you want to come clean to Bambi, or do I put him straight myself?"

Jane Doe sighed, crossed her legs provocatively, and reached for the phone. In the middle of the dialer it said "Buck Moonskull. CLOverfield 5-2999." Watching her, he had a feeling that number would be ringing again soon.


for Sunday Muse #120


  1. LMAO this is perfection Shay! Your play on words with doe and forest for the trees and the Bambi mystery is clever at it's finest! You have such a wonderful imagination and when you go the humorous way it is sheer brilliance!! LOVE it!!!

  2. Wonderful fun! I love your coined words and phrases.

  3. Had me totally rolling, especially Stag Antlersen and all the other hilarious puns you've slipped in. I also love the halo, the rotary phone, and what I am going to call the happy ending. Thanks for brightening my day, Shay. This is pure vintage Fireblossom.

  4. I loved it, especially the hooves on the desk and hooking the gun with his antlers. So much fun.

  5. Dear me! What a rollicking tale. Like everyone else, I loved the puns--especially Stag Antlersen. The rotary phone brought back instant memories. Your story perfectly matched the illustration.

    I'm sure Buck will be in a rut quite soon...

  6. LOL! Great. I love "like tacky foil on the neck of a bottle of drug store champagne".

  7. Laughing into the whiskey with this one. :)

  8. Hillarious in an understated sort of way.. Loved this!!!

  9. Why am I hearing Jimmy Cagney in my head reading this. Love it. Nothing like a moose with a gun.

  10. OMG! This is priceless. Just finished watching HBO's amazing series of Perry Mason. Perfect timing. Cheers.

  11. What a delightful Reed, Shay!
    I really got drawn into the scene.
    Way to go- spinning the Bambi tale! 👏🏽👏🏽.


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