Reanimated Lavender Granola Switchblade Nun rides again.

Saturday, January 15, 2022

If God Had Meant Us To See The Sky, He'd Have Given Us Eyes On Stalks

Imagine my surprise, my perplexity,
groping around the living room while seeing the bedroom before me. 

Wherever I leave my glasses, I see what they see. They have abducted my vision.
Beware, junior. 
I can actually have eyes in the back of my head now.
Never mind the way I blunder into things.

Hello? Hi dear.
Oh, you say i forgot my glasses on your secretary's desk? 
Silly me! 
(That man-stealing harlot.)

Enjoy your meatloaf.
I made it by feel and it may have some unusual ingredients. 
Two forks? Pick one.
I always use the dog's dish as a salad bowl, don't I? 
Well, it makes a nice change anyway.

Ah! Thank you for bringing home my eyeglasses.
Now I can read your report card, junior.
And sign these divorce papers, dear.
Just give the meatloaf to Rover.


  1. Ahahahaha! "Wherever I leave my glasses, I see what they see. They have abducted my vision." I put them on a boat to Morrocco where they will travel by caravan and be sold in the spice markets -- your poet's vision loose in the world as always.

  2. Sending my readers to you via USPS, I want to see what you see! (think they'll make it?) Poem is light, bright and funny, I love it. ARF.

  3. Cracked me up. Perfect balance of skill, smirk and scalpel. (While not being gifted in this way with dislocated sight, I do often feel about my glasses like the Indians supposedly felt about cameras--they've stolen my eyes, because without them I'm blind.) I loved this, especially the meatloaf, and the man-stealing trollop. One of those that superficially looks easy but is so hard to do this well.

  4. Dang Shay, this is brilliant in every direction! Clever, ironic and still true! So many wonderful lines that made me smile and think about how many times my glasses have gone missing right on my head. LOL


  5. What a rollicking fun read this was, Shay. Extremely clever!

  6. This was so much fun and did I ever need it. We were on yet another tsunami advisory today - the climate crises are coming so thick and fast in BC, they keep me exhausted. All is well now, thankfully.

  7. Right on prompt, Shay. You kept us waiting to see how the glasses would be recovered. Early on we were tested by their absence.
    Hits home also. I readily signed those divorce papers, after all I'd lost my wedding ring in Dam B Lake a couple of years back. She made a bad choice in choosing my successor but my opinion wasn't asked.

  8. haha - well, you had me laughing. This is smart and sassy and the dog gets the meatloaf for the win.

  9. This was marvelous! Nothing like spy glasses keeping everyone in check.

  10. Enjoyed reading this, and I have not even one little drop of pity for those in your poem, LOL!


  11. i left mine at the dmv once, overnight, i saw things i just can't unsee, repressed people should not be left unsupervised in the dark. enjoyed this shay, very clever!

  12. I like the supernatural personification, glasses having stolen eyesight. Nice poem in the form of a telephone conversation

  13. I love the role of the glasses in this. Witty, fun poem, Shay!

  14. Wow, this is one kaleidoscope of vision, or maybe lack of? Feels like the central figure has become unhinged and not sure it's because of the glasses or not...


Spirit, what do you wish to tell us?