The queen who kissed the garden wall
was snookered by an ivy vine
who made her head a cannon ball.
You see, dear queen, this magic mine
(said the speaking ivy vine)
Has launched your bean, my airborne queen
to blow the Brits to smithereens!
______
First written down by the French monk Gustavius Petitgrand, this well-known rhyme royal depicts the Battle of Camembert Castle in 1599. Beheaded by an angry mob of lettuce cutters in the streets of Paris, Queen Amie de Chateaubriand's head had to be used when the French cannoneers ran out of ammunition. The Queen's head landed in the officer's tent where British commander Lord Bupkus Kewgarden-McWeatherstone, Second Earl of Weevilwiggen was dining. The head is said to have spoken to him, though the exact words have been reported differently by various sources. In any event, so terrified was His Lordship that he immediately surrendered his army as well as his collection of chessmen carved from candle wax. This battle and the resulting French victory was a key turning point in the Twenty Minutes War and insured that no French child would ever be named Basil again. Vive la tete! (Alouette!) Ahhh!
For Word Garden Word List--Classic Fairy Tales.
top image: Soul of the Rose by John William Waterhouse
Music: Choral Saint-Jean Alouette
Grinning. This tale must have been as much fun to write as it is to read. I needed it today. Loved it.
ReplyDeleteWell, that was quite a tale. Poor queen! I chuckled at the 20 Minute War...and hey, I have a dog named Basil! Smiles.
ReplyDeleteHopefully the Brits will have an answer to that, perhaps we could see it coming. Long live the King !! - Great work and poem!
ReplyDeleteVive la tete indeed. After spilling my coffee reading this whilst uncontrollably giggling yesterday, I was rendered speechless and am only now recovered enough to say, A Bas Les Aristos, and Let them eat ivy. And beware the wrath of disenfranchised lettuce cutters! I do love it when you write in this style, Shay.
ReplyDeleteVery funny and cleverly constructed! :-)
ReplyDeleteHahaha! Vive la tete indeed!
ReplyDelete