Summer

 

Here's a secret:

summer isn't real. 

It's a replica cooked up in an industrial oven somewhere.

Want to know 

how I know

how I know 

want to know?

hmm hmm hmm?

Sugar, I could enlighten you about a few things,

lay out the deets like an Alexa  but with way better hair.

You see, the real summer, 

the one we grew up in like 

wogs in a puddle with our

bikes and Kool-Aid and

sense of endless warm nose-in-the-green-grass days ahead,

she's gone, my dude. 

They have her secured at Gitmo or Bethesda or somewhere,

trying to find out HOW, like HOW, summer? Give it up already!

She's a clam, she tells them to fuck right off, so there she stays.

This new summer, the one we're in now

like koi fish swimming around saying looky,

our orbit is decaying, mayday mayday!

water temp rising, abandon ship!

is

not

real.

This cheap knock-off, this ersatz season, is as fake as an Eligible Bachelor

with a certificate of authenticity laminated and embossed

with a realistic official seal sticking out of his man purse. I mean

gimme a break.

You don't know me and shit, I get that.

I could just be somebody off their meds

or trolling you because because because...

because that's the wonderful thing she does!

So here is 

one

true

sentence,

and it is the truest sentence that I know:

I long for Fall, because Fall knows me, keeps the windows

yellow-lit and has my long sweater ready, laundered

and scented, laid out next to my cute sox and funky newsboy cap;

Fall wants me, lets me know that I am a work of art and a woman

in the right flesh at the right time to carry the right soul  and a mug

of hot mocha straight into an October morning and live there.

Now imma cry and bake in the phony replacement sun

and maybe if you're any kind of friend you'll say shh shh

baby and tell me softly

in my ear

about leaves

and frost

and hope

and all that happy hopscotch,

ok?

Hang a while with me 

and be my balm in Gilead, 

 my Saint Anthony to the lost.

___________

For Word Garden Word List--Whisper Down the Lane. 

I kind of lifted my man Ernest's words for that one part. No wait, it's an homage!

Music: Fontella Bass Rescue Me

Fascination

I defer in all things to the gray cat
perched on the porch rail as the sun goes down.
His disinterest is my fascination.

The moon slipping from the sky is another fascination
of mine, and too, I think, of the gray cat
though he is silent as he shakes himself and jumps down.

You are the one I can't forget, like a book I can't put down
written by a stranger untouched by my fascination 
with stories, with you, with the moon and the gray cat.

The gray cat pounces down on shadows; I watch in fascination. 
_____

a tritina for fussy little forms with Marian.

this poem is an homage of sorts for one of my favorite poems--"untitled" by Carl Rickert, which appeared in the September 1973 issue of The Speakeasy Culture. 

With some trepidation, I am adding Carl's poem here because it is impossible to find and should be read widely, imo. I have tried to search him out to get permission, but after 45 years it's impossible. Carl, if you see this and object, let me know and i will remove it. Again i stress that the following is a poem by CARL RICKERT, not me, but my poem at top is an homage to it and its ideas about gray cats.

"Untitled" by Carl Rickert

No one at all that night

saw the moon drop from the sky,

save myself

and a gray cat walking by,

looking

perhaps,

for another gray cat,

looking

for something,

looking,

maybe,

for me,

because I am the master of the gray cat,

and life,

my life,

the cat's life,

your life,

maybe,

if you give it to me,

and the gray cat,

The gray cat helps me make my decisions,

decisions on life,

my life and your life,

if that's your desire,

The gray cat has no sense of responsibility,

seeks only pleasure

and other gray cats,

at night,

or in the day

if it has that feeling,

but I seek his answer,

perhaps because of that lack of responsibility,

I have that,

you know,

responsibility,

for the gray cat,

and you,

if you would like,

my life would change,

and yours,

and the gray cat's,

but chances

are born in the moon we watched,

until last night,

when it dropped from the sky,

and only I was the witness,

for the gray cat

upon questioning,

saw little

save another gray cat,

or the hope of seeing another gray cat,

so you'll have to take my word,

and the fact

that the moon no longer appears,

and that despite the change in my life

I still want you,

waiting of course

to see what the gray cat will say.

Meghan

The grass that April seemed stunned,
as if winter had kicked it out of the house.

That was the year of the fiery crash
and the bullshit sermon.

Daisies came up in the graveyard,
and the spring sun went down easier than it rose.

You were Meghan of the tractor pasture,
my baby of the barbed wire ditch.

You showed me, all those times under a sickle moon,
how a Scorpio's kiss can make the earth move.

Mama said it was the mines settling,
but all I believed in, that April, was the gospel of your arms.

Summer came, and the cicadas sang, then died.
Later, we knocked pecans down from the trees,

gathering them in our jean jackets spread on the ground to be forgotten
as we got drunk on illegal beer and each other's skin.

April is always a rainy, uncertain month,
and summer, here, can put a good woman in the madhouse.

Anyway, it's only March, and colder than a banker's smile,
but I woke up thinking of you, Meghan, so I called in queer and wrote you this poem.
________ 

image: Emmylou Harris

 

My Favorite Movies Ever

As is well known, FB has never had an original thought in her life, and so today's post is blatantly ripped off from a tribute to the wonderful Willow, our bloggy movie maven. Blogger does not wish to allow me to load images, and so I apologise for the text-only nature of this list. Still, I hope it will be interesting!

MY FAVORITE SILENTS

"The Kid" with Charlie Chaplin and Jackie Coogan. The little tramp finds himself caring for adorable waif Coogan. The Rube Goldberg contraptions Charlie invents to help him are hilarious, and all goes well until someone tries to take the kid away. In true silent movie melodramatic fashion, Charlie saves the day. I cry every time.

"Beyond The Rocks" with Gloria Swanson and Rudolf Valentino. This was the only time these two silent icons appeared on screen together. The film was thought lost for many years, before a copy was unearthed and restored, including a magnificent new sound track which makes the film.  I wasn't honestly expecting much, but it blew me away.

OLDIES BUT GOODIES

"Portrait of Jenny" with Jennifer Jones. A struggling artist whose work lacks passion meets the mysterious Jenny, who inspires him. Taken from the Robert Nathan novel, this is both a magical love story and a chance to see fantastic views of old New York.

"Sunset Boulevard" with Gloria Swanson and William Holden. You know this one. Down on his luck Holden ends up in a strange relationship with faded movie queen Swanson. She's ready for her close-up, Mr. Demille!

"Strangers When We Meet" with Kirk Douglas and Kim Novak. From the early 60s, this is the story of two married people, an architect and a housewife (Novak. What a housewife! Raawwrrrrrrrr!) who have a bittersweet affair. I just adore it. A bonus is seeing Walter Matthau as a real slime bucket of a neighbor.

CHICK FLICKS

"The Bridges of Madison County" with Clint Eastwood and Meryl Streep. A National Geographic photographer comes to Iowa to photograph covered bridges, and asks directions from housewife Streep, whose family is away at the state fair. Soon, it's true but impossible love. If you don't cry at the stop light scene near the end, you haven't got a heart.

"Spitfire Grill" with Ellen Burstyn. Percy Talbot is just out of prison, and gets a job at the Spitfire Grill, owned by Burstyn. She slowly wins everyone over except one man, who is determined to undo her. The Maine setting is nice. Ayup.

"Steel Magnolias" with Dolly Parton, Julia Roberts, Sally Field, Tom Skerrit and many others. Southern wit and perseverance at its best. You really will laugh and cry.

"The Four Seasons" with Alan Alda and Carol Burnett. Couples who have been friends for years traverse the seasons of their lives, in this sometimes hilarious, sometimes very touching film from the 80s. The Vivaldi music is wonderful, too.

DICK FLICKS (yes, even little femcentric me has one movie in this category!)

"Get Carter" with Sylvester Stallone and Michael Caine. In this remake of the earlier Caine vehicle, Stallone is a legbreaker who comes home for his brother's funeral. He thinks things are not quite right and unravels a world of trouble. What I love most about this is how he treats his niece. He listens to her and sticks up for her when she needs him. The boy who drugged her and took advantage takes a fast trip off a balcony. As it should be.

DRAMAS

"Pleasantville" with Toby McGuire and Reese Witherspoon. A brother and sister are magically transported into the black and white 1950's tv show world of Pleasantville. What begins as a delightfully imaginative lark, ends up being a moving story with a deeper message. Great 50s music, too!

"Ordinary People" with Donald Sutherland, Timothy Hutton and Mary Tyler Moore. The disintegration from within of a family. From the Judith Guest best seller. Directed by Robert Redford.

"Jacob's Ladder" with Tim Robbins and Elizabeth Pena. Postal worker Robbins is with Pena, but keeps dreaming he is still with his ex-wife and his dead son is still alive. Soon, reality and illusion become hard to distinguish, as he seems to be being pursued by demons...or are they government agents? A real brain twister.

"Witness" with Kelly McGillis and Harrison Ford. You know this one. Philadelphia detective Ford has a murder on his hands, but the only witness is a little Amish boy. Pssst, Harrison....in real life, Kelly likes girls. Just thought I'd let ya know. Hehehehe.

"The Crying Game" with Stephen Rea and Jaye Davidson. IRA terrorists kidnap a British soldier from a fair. Knowing he is probably going to die, the soldier asks soft-hearted Rea to go see his girlfriend after it is all over. He does, and she's a beauty, but a beauty with a secret.

COMEDIES

"The Producers" with Zero Mostel and Gene Wilder. Looking for a sure fire flop as part of a scheme, Mostel and Wilder produce the wildly offensive "Springtime For Hitler." Guess what? It doesn't flop.

"Ruthless People" with Danny DeVito, Bette Midler, and Helen Slater. Devito's plans to poison his wife are made moot when hare-brained kidnappers snatch her instead. They keep threatening to kill her, and he keeps gleefully urging them to do so. But when Midler and her kidnappers become friends, the tables turn.

"Better Off Dead" with the usual 80s cast. Dumped by the girl he is obsessed with, Our Hero tries several ways to kill himself and they all fail, rather hilariously. Then a pretty French exchange students appears on the scene, and maybe things don't look so bad after all.

HORROR

"The Shining" with Jack Nicholson. Heeeeeeere's Johnny!

"Session 9" with David Caruso. A team of hazmat contractors has a week to clear the asbestos out of the abandoned Danvers State Mental Hospital. As they all gradually feel the effects of the creepy place (the actual hospital was used), one worker becomes obsessed with tapes of sessions between a murderess/patient and her doctor. When he gets to Session 9, it gets messy.

"Dead Birds" with...nobody anybody knows, lol. A band of confederate deserters (and one very comely gal) rob a bank and then hole up in what turns out to be a very cursed farm house. Watch it on a rainy night.

FOREIGN

"Love Me If You Dare" (Jeux D'enfants). This French movie follows a boy and a girl who start a game of dares in childhood which escalates through adulthood into something out of control. Turns the romance genre on its ear. The French understand l'amour fou, or "crazy love."

"Talk To Her" A Spanish movie in which two men love two women who are in comas. Directed by Pedro Almodovar, this is wayyyyyyyyyy better than it sounds, exploring the nature of love itself.

"Ma Vie En Rose" A French film in which a little boy assumes he will grow up to be a woman and marry his best friend. This, of course, makes everyone around him crazy. He wants nothing more than to live in "Le Monde du Pam" or Pam's World, a tv show presided over by a very feminine, very beautiful lady. Will he make it? You'll have to watch "My Life In Pink" to find out.

"Breaker Morant" An Australian film based on actual events during the Boer War. Three soldiers are put on trial on trumped up charges of war crimes, as a political strategem to try to end the war.

"Picnic At Hanging Rock" Another Aussie film, it is about a group of private school girls at the turn of the last century who go on a Valentime's Day picnic to Hanging Rock, from which some never return, including the beautiful Miranda. What happened? Well....not anything you think. 

HISTORICAL

"Last of The Mohicans" with Daniel Day Lewis and Maddy Stowe. From the Cooper classic. Lewis and Stowe find love in the dangerous wilds of early America. Gorgeous cinematography and a very romantic plot. Action too.

LESBIAN

"When Night Is Falling" A professor at a religious college falls in love with a circus performer who shoots her phone number through her window tied to an arrow. Add a very charming dog and Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah" and this is my second favorite movie, ever. (After Love Me If You Dare)

"Lost And Delirious" Sort of "Dead Poets Society" for girls. A fierce and heartbreaking love story.

"D.E.B.S." with Jordana Brewster. A total guilty pleasure. A Charlie's Angels style group of schoolgirls go up against Lucy Diamond, criminal mastermind. But then their leader and Lucy fall for each other. Lucy (Jordana) is soooooooooooooooooo swoon-inducing. Oh my. *fans self*

OTHER

"A.I. (Artificial Intelligence)" with Jude Law. A robot boy is invented who can love, and is adopted by a couple whose real son is in a coma. Saying a sequence of words activates this boy's love, and after that happens, the real son miraculously wakes up. Now what? Now a long long search for his destiny and for the love he was quite literally created for.

"Mulholland Drive" I warn you, you'll watch this the first time and go "Huh???" But if you have the patience to watch it again, this very twisted tale of Hollywood, and the difference between what is wished for and what is, is one of the greatest movies ever made.

"Northfork" with James Woods and Peter Coyote. It is 1955 and the little town of Northfork is about to be covered in water, after the building of a new dam. Full of weird and endearing people, angels and oddballs, this one is one of a kind.

CHILDREN'S

"A Little Princess" (1990s remake) Sarah Crewe's father leaves for WWI and leaves her at a boarding school. When he goes missing, the cruel headmistress makes her life miserable. But an Indian servant from next door, and her own belief in herself ("ALL girls are princesses!") see her through to a remarkable conclusion.

There you have them. My favorite movies, ever. :-)

________

The Queen Of Catalpa Street

She walks down the street like she owns the place,

Like she could just walk up to any house and say, "baby...go" and they'd have to move out,

To Coldwater, or Bad Axe,

Just because she said so,

And just because she makes you want to bend to her will.

She walks down the street kinda arrogant and strong, like she just put a hotel on Boardwalk and she's gonna win...

You know it.

She knows it.

She swings her arms all casual, like she's used to holding women;

She wears jeans, hiking boots, a red flannel shirt and mittens,

And her long straight dark hair flows out behind her like a beautiful lackey,

As if she were The Queen Of Catalpa Street.



She's on her way to Blockbuster or 7-11,

Or her older, married, female lover's house,

Where they will sweep the shit out from under the Christmas tree and make love.

Afterward, Jen,

or Anne,

or Steph,

Or whatever her name is, will sigh at her back as she lets herself out, and it will take her half an hour to find baby Jesus again and

Set him in the bed of the toy train's coal car without thinking.



She is on her way to Blockbuster or 7-11;

I am on my way to The Coffee Beanery in my car with the rainbow sticker on the back,

But I wish I was with her,

In her hotel on Boardwalk,

With my fingers spread on the soft flannel at the small of her back,

Later to unlace her hiking boots with my teeth,

From my knees,

Because she is so butchy

And beautiful,



And she walks down the street like she owns the place,

Like she still has some lucky woman's taste on her lips,

Like she could toss her hair, the Queen Of Catalpa Street,

Glance over at my car and say,

Lady,

Get ready to beg so pretty,

Because, really,

It's you

Who needs

The ride.

_________

(Christmas Eve, 2006. Revised 7/7/10)

_________

one shot wednesday