Three

Chloe the serial killer is having the devil's own time dragging the tv pitchman's body into the weeds.

How's that for an opening sentence? Eat my dust, rubes.

She had had her thumb out--
cute as a box cutter in an angel's hand,
chin up
hip cocked
standing in the harsh shine of the rising sun.

She hadn't given a damn about limescale.
She hadn't cared how many ShamWows he had in his trunk.
Now his shitheap Hyundai is parked crookedly on the shoulder,
and one lonesome long-legged caffeine junkie is trying to stash him behind the hollyhocks.

It must be the Bohemian in her.

She has almost got him to the center of the cloverleaf when she hears something.
Shit. She's not alone.
Chloe turns in a slow circle. 
Then she sees a dark form nearly obscured in the shade of a trash tree--
it is the Queen of the Vampires in black panther form,
and she is crying.
Have you ever seen a cat cry?
They do it silently, but with their whole soul.

"Here is the place," she says to Chloe,
"where Athena, Artemis, Hestia and I used to hang out.
In those days, we killed all the developers before they could draw their first breath.
Artemis used to turn guys into jackalopes; no construction crews.
Hestia would build a fire,
and the four of us would pass the Mad Dog around.
I liked us better then."

The tv pitchman forgotten, Chloe sits down in the tall grass,
as the Queen of the Vampires resumes human form.
She continues:
"Now Athena is some muckety muck with the power company.
She lives in a condo,
and her owl is just some detailing on the door of her fucking Audi.

"He used to hunt here, swooping down from the trees,
and Artemis loved him so much, just as if he were her own.
She would coo to him like he was Head Baby at the Adorable Factory.
With a mouse in his talons.
And those big eyes.

"Arty lives with some woman who wears an ankh and runs bullshit workshops.
She's gone vegan, and doesn't even remember Orion at all.
Chloe....?" She falters.

"Yeah, hun? Tell me." 

The Vampire Queen lets out a shaky sigh.
"She...she spells woman with a Y."

"Oh, hun." 

"I know, right?"

They are silent for a long time, the tv pitchman stiffening up beside them.
"What about Hestia?" Chloe asks, putting her arm around her friend.

"She runs a B&B,
making English muffins for couples from East Candyland,
chatting them up, then washing another god damn load of sheets in the afternoon.
What happened to us, Chloe?
We were cool. Why do we suck so hard now?"

Just then, there is a rustling in the grass.
Chloe looks up, the sun seeming to traverse the lenses of her shades.
"Look what the cat dragged in!"

It's the Succubus, fluttering her black wings lazily.
"What's this?" she asks. "GSA troop 17?"

Chloe explains, shrugging a shoulder at her friend sitting next to her.
"She's feeling old and uncool."

"Fuuuuuck," says the Succubus wisely,
as she and the charming serial killer lift the Vampire Queen to her feet.
"What you need is some coffee, lady.
And guess who's sitting in your favorite booth at Danny's as we speak?"

The QOTV sniffles and wipes her face with her sleeve.
"Uh...Emmylou Harris maybe?"

"Nah. Even better. The Dark-Haired Chick."

"She not in Toronto?"

"Nope."

"Not in Chicago?"

"Nuh uh."

Not in L.A.?"

"She's at Danny's, waiting for you, you silly shithead. C'mon. I saw a Hyundai we can steal. We can be there in fifteen minutes."

So the three of them step over the dead tv pitchman and in fourteen and a half minutes,
they are at Danny's Coffee Shop,
once again the cool queens of caffeine.
_____

black night hollyhocks

Although I only used one word ("queen") from the list, it was mood wings's word list that inspired me. This is also for the Real Toads mini-challenge. Kelly Letky's photograph "Dance With The Ghosts of Tomorrow" made me think of the spontaneous scrub that springs up in unused patches of land, like next to freeway interchanges. The top image is hers. 

Athena, Artemis and Hestia are the "maiden goddesses".

Diana the Huntress (Artemis)

Dedicated to cool girls everywhere.  

 

Undead

Oh, don't look so stunned,
as if you'd found a snaky stowaway in your yarn basket--
my crazy green skin hiding in your orderly museum of every shade of gray.

Love is a beautiful emotion.
I know,
I saw it depicted on television when I was ten.
On a black and white screen in my aunt and uncle's basement,
a raven beauty of a Vampire Queen
made something turn deliciously over inside of me,
easy as cow-tipping,
cheesy,
thrilling,
the way it would always be from then on,
with every woman I loved.

I am the package you didn't order,
the garden you started, then regretted,
and the riddle you'll never answer.

So, why do I keep turning back to see you,
still holding up your cross,
casting its shadow on the very blood in my veins
that I can never get far enough away from to deny?
_________

for Get Listed at Real Toads. I used ten of the words: yarn, stunned, garden, package, cow-tipping, stowaway, riddle, crazy, and television.

The Coffee Within The Cream. ( Or Something. )

The Succubus sits at her favorite booth in the corner,
smoking and reading her horoscope.

"Hey. Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm." It's Chloe, the serial killer and resident sweetheart of Danny's Coffee Shop. "What's it say? 'Do your fucking roots already'?"

Behind Chloe, there are tally marks on the wall. 15 cheerleaders, 27 golfers, 11 assorted shitheads. 1 pop star. 1 criminal court judge. 2 morning people.

The Succubus reads her horoscope aloud. "Follow your dreams." Chloe snorts. Everyone knows that the Succubus follows other people's dreams and enters them. That she has incredible sex with them. That she steals their souls. Yadda yadda.

"I was in HER dream last night."

"HER?"

"You know. HER."

"Well Jesus H. Christ in a strapless gown," says Chloe. "Did you steal her soul???"

The Succubus looks over her dark glasses at Chloe as if the girl were simple-minded. "Uh, noOOOooo. Think about it."

Chloe has white dust from a sugar donut on her lips. She stops chewing. "Oh. Right. So, what was she dreaming about?"

"She dreamed she was on a bus, but it was more like a train. She had on boots and an expensive coat and a big hat, but no top, and the coat was open."

Chloe laughs. "That chick is coo coo. What else?"

"Well, she wanted to get off the bus at the National Shrine of the Little Flower, but the driver said the bus was a Limited and she couldn't."

God the waitress looks over. She's been eavesdropping. It isn't easy, staying omniscient. "Good for her. I hope she kicked him in the shins."

Two heads swivel over to stare at God. "Or somewhere!" chirps Chloe.

Just then, the Queen of the Vampires comes strutting in, in black panther form, with the Speaker of the House dangling from her jaws. 

"Ohmugaw, " says the Succubus. She looks at Chloe and adds, "Do you remember when our little kitty started out with birds and mice? All grown up now. " The Succubus sighs. "What's a demoness from the underworld to do?"

The Queen of the Vampires leaps up into a booth, dropping John Boehner so that she can rip the bejabbers out of the seat with her fearsome claws, to make herself comfy. "What are you two simps discussing? Oh, wait a minute. WHO are you discussing?"

(*cricket cricket*)

The QOTV is just about to sink her fangs into the Representative from Ohio, when she looks up. "Spill!"

"Um, we were discussing you, darling, but...not."

"Huh?"

The Succubus goes back to her Life section. "One day all of these mysteries will make sense to you. For now, child, eat your snack." 

Chloe snorts again. "She's so cute when she's confused." 

"Girls." It is the warning voice of God. 

"We're just fucking with her," complains Chloe. Instantly, she is surrounded by a hundred perky cheerleaders, waving pom poms. "Okay! I'll stop!" The cheerleaders vanish as quickly as they came. God smirks and goes back to working on her chalk menu board.

"One day you'll know your destiny, padewan," says the Succubus. "Your true identity." Then, lowering her voice as deep as she can, she adds, "Kitty...I am your faaaatherrrr." When she laughs it is surprisingly light and girlish. For a demoness. 

Just then, the little bell above the door jingles, and someone walks in. She's wearing jeans and boots and is complaining under her breath about having to drive a clown car. She is met with a loud chorus of whoops and wolf whistles from the Danny's girls. She pretends not to notice. Walking up to the to-go counter, she asks, "Who does a girl have to fuck around here to get some coffee?"

 * * *

Her eyes open, and she groans. Morning. For some reason, she wants coffee even more than usual. She has a weird urge to go to the National Shrine of the Little Flower today. She wonders what the bus schedule is like. Then, for no reason she can name, she puts her hand to her chest and feels the usual tee shirt. "Weird," she mumbles, getting out of bed. Let's see...coffee, chocolate chip oatmeal.....let Bosco out...then write something for the blog. Maybe a Danny's Coffee Shop thing. Or maybe some soppy love poem. "O Dark-Haired Chick," she begins, in her head. Um...what rhymes? schtick, trick, dick...no, that's not working out. Go with Dannys. Okay, um....

The Succubus sits at her favorite booth in the corner,
smoking and reading her horoscope....

______

for Real Toads "Find Your Creative Space".

I really did have the dream described above, about the bus, and Shrine, and my distinctive and stylish mode of costume, last night. I'm ready for my close-up now, Mr. DeMille.

Learn about the fascinating history of the Shrine of the Little Flower, HERE.

“First sign of madness, talking to your own head.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix 

   

Hero To Us !

Corey Rowley walks into Danny's Coffee Shop.
Her eyes half-closed, the Succubus purrs, "Hi, Dreamboat!"

Chloe the serial killer steps in front of her.
"Pay no attention to Sleepytime Gal over there. Let's go get better acquainted, Cor."
With a roll of her hips, she steps closer,
looking down then back up.

"I can't consort with sinners, " says Corey.

"Huh???" say the Succubus and Chloe in unison. 

As Corey sits down, Denise the waitress brings him a bottle of tequila and a suggestive smile.

"None for me," he says. "Bring me a bottle of Squirt, and a lime, please."
She does, but with the most quizzical expression on her face.
When she sets them on the table, 
Savanna the teenage runaway takes the knife from her boot
and offers it, handle first, to Our Hero.
"For the lime."

"Is that a weapon?" he asks, sounding shocked. "Do your parents know you carry that? Shouldn't you be in school?"

As the Danny's girls all stand around looking at him as if he'd grown an extra head,
God the waitress walks up and plants herself in Corey's lap.
Crossing her legs, she unwraps a candy bar and feeds it to him.
"It's a Snickers, baby. Cos you're not you when you're hungry!"

He downs the candy bar and looks a little dazed for a moment.
In the next booth, the Dark-Haired Chick is wearing way cool shades
and petting the Queen of the Vampires, in black panther form.
The QOTV sets her ears back, shows her fangs and lets loose with a fearsome growl.
Corey blinks, then smiles.
"Hi, Shay!"

After that, Corey hangs out and plays guitar for the Danny's girls, 
who are all over him like white on rice.
Somehow, he endures.
_______

for Real Toads "penny for your thoughts."

Ohmuhgaw !

It is mid-afternoon on a Tuesday at Danny's Coffee Shop.
Denise the waitress is doing her nails.
Chloe the serial felon is meditating to "Relaxing Sounds Of Ocean & Surf".
The Succubus is crashed with her face on the table, drooling, but she still has on her cool shades. Savanna the teenage runaway puts a sticky that says "kick me" on the Succubus's huge black wings.
She thinks this is enormously hilarious.

The kitten Giuseppe Verdi wanders up to a table full of girls, wanting the standard fuss and adoration he is used to at Danny's,
but these are popular girls from the high school.
One of them screws up her face and says, "Ohmuhgaw. Why do these places always have cats??"
There is a book sticking out of her bag. Perhaps it is ornamental. She doesn't seem like a reader.

Denise looks up from her mani.
Chloe's chi goes off center and she ditches the Relaxing Surf.
The Succubus wakes up and flutters her wings,
which sends Savanna off the deep end, laughing.

One of the popular girls notices the charged silence and asks, challengingly,
"Wut???"

Just then, a blinding black blur comes hurtling at their table and lands on it, scattering all the bottled waters and ipads. 
"RAWWWWWWWRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!" says the blur, turning in circles on top of the table, like a maniac.
It is, of course, The Queen of the Vampires, in black panther form.

"OhmuhGAW!" screech the popular girls, as the QOTV demolishes their booth.
"Eww. Why do these places--"
but she is interrupted by the QOTV clawing out her nasty overdyed hair.
Luckily for her, the cat is distracted by the book that the kitten Giuseppe Verdi has pulled from the girl's bag.

Together, they go from one end of Danny's to the other, destroying the book with unrestrained glee.
"RAWWWWWWWWWRRRRRRR!!!"
"rawwwwwwwrrrrrrr!!!" 
they say.
It was probably not a history book, but now that book is history.

"Ohmuhgaw," squeaks one of the popular girls from underneath a table.
Chloe the serial killer sticks her head upside down beneath the table and inquires,
"Tell me, lame popular girl, what was that book?!?"
Popular Girl's glossed lip trembles as she says,

"The Oxford Book Of Haiku".
_______ 

Fangs

The Queen of the Vampires has her chin on the table and her hair up in a messy knot on top of her head.

Suddenly, she hisses bloodcurdlingly and shows her fangs.
Her eyes get big.
She turns her head from side to side.
"Haaaaaaaaaaaaa!" Her razor-sharp canines glint in the light of Danny's Coffee Shop.

Her opponent takes all of this in without so much as a blink, although he does flatten his ears.

Then he opens his mouth, and shows his own fangs,
looking about as threatening as a throw pillow.
It is the kitten Giuseppe Verdi.

"Oh please," says Denise the waitress, passing by.

Giuseppe Verdi launches himself at the Vampire Queen,
knocking her backwards in her chair
(or so she lets him think)
until she lands unceremoniously on the checkered floor of Danny's,
with the kitten on her chest, gloating.

"What are you two morons doing?" It is Chloe, all blonde hair and parole violations.
Gathering all of her dignity,
or as much as she can while lying on the floor with a kitten on her chest,
The Queen of the Vampires says,
"We are playing Leopard and Villager. I'm the villager."

Chloe smirks. "How come I've never seen you balance a basket on your head?"

"I could if I wanted. I just don't feel like it," sniffs the Vampire, snatching up Giuseppe Verdi and kiss-mugging him.
He allows this for a minute, then runs off.

"Borrrrrrrrrrrn freeeeeeeeee," screeches Chloe.
"Nice," says the QOTV. "You could kill a cheerleader at twenty paces with that voice."
"Do you really think so?" asks Chloe, pleased.

Just then, the little bell above the door rings,
and the Dark-Haired Chick walks in.
She is immediately pounced upon by a large black blur,
which turns out to be the QOTV in black panther form.
Taking the Chick in her jaws, the QOTV drags her into a booth.

"Wtf?" says the Dark-Haired Chick.
"You're the Villager," explains the Succubus,
sitting at her favorite spot in the corner.
"Just go with it."

It's a typical Monday night at Danny's Coffee Shop.
Try the mocha cappuccino.
When God makes one,
She always sneaks Giuseppe Verdi a little bit of whipped cream.
________ 

Morrigan Visits Target

Morrigan goes to Target, the day after Halloween.
On the way,
she hits Kelly Clarkson with her Subaru.
Morrigan appears in the form of a crow on the singer's shoulder.
"Aw, sugar pea," she sighs,
"no more dance shit out of you."

Modern life does not agree with Morrigan.
At Target,
she stands with her head tilted,
looking at an inflatable creche peopled with Peanuts characters;
a dog wearing a scarf represents the Christ.

Later, in her cave,
Morrigan contemplates all that she has seen.
In the old days,
There were oracles, vengeful goddesses,
and weird animal/human hybrids
filled with fury and purpose.

Now, there are singing snowmen wearing top hats,
sounding like Burl Ives.

Morrigan declares war on Target.
She animates the shopping carts and they advance in a phalanx,
demolishing displays,
sending snow globes to explode on the floor like bombs.
Briefly, she considers building a sacrificial pyre,
and causing all of the low rise jeans to take wing in a frenzy of self-immolation.

But, no.

Instead, she turns the assistant manager's vest into a block of ice
and sends him skidding out of the freight doors in the back.

Morrigan fills the changing room mirrors with terrifying visions
of writhing snakes and centipedes,
then turns the tongues of those shoppers who send out Christmas brag sheets into scorpions.
The tension lines on Morrigan's face begin to ease.

Her mood improved,
she enables zombie Kelly Clarkson to become a checker
in the only open lane.
A disturbing chanting issues from her mouth as she rings up and then attacks unwary shoppers
as they yammer on cell phones
or dig for their debit cards.
Her victims litter the check-out,
and spill, horrifyingly, into the greeting card aisle.

The store in shambles,
the hourly-wage Santa wandering blank-eyed and gibbering,
Morrigan turns her attention to the jewelry case.

There, she sees her girlfriend,
dangling a Celtic cross on a delicate gold chain from her equally delicate and beautiful fingers.
"Honey!" sighs Morrigan.
"Baby!" replies the girlfriend. "Look what I bought ya."

And so,
as the late Kelly Clarkson screeches out something that might be singing, but might not,
the two lovebirds stand amid the murdered plastic reindeer and the smoking, ruined, kitschy racks of holiday sweaters,
and a very smitten Morrigan says to the Dark-Haired Chick,
"How did you know it was me?"
She smirks and answers, "You did this last year, remember? I mean, duh."

Then the Dark-Haired Chick says, "Watch your hair, baby," and puts the Celtic cross and chain around Morrigan's--the QOTV's--neck.
"I love Christmas," says the Queen of the Vampires, happy as a crow in corn country.
"I know, baby," says her girl, rolling her eyes, but smiling. "I know."
_____

Compiled, in part, from a word list handed down to me from the hand of Flipside.  

Word Garden's 1,000th Post!

The woman with the camera was getting exactly nowhere. She was standing inside Danny's Coffee Shop, trying to get a good shot of the Queen Of The Vampires, but every picture just showed wall, tables, coffee cups. No QOTV. She gave her camera a little shake, then smacked her forehead.

"Vampire," said Daryl with an eye roll. "No mirrors. No pictures. What was I thinking?"

The QOTV smirked as only a Vampire Queen in black panther form can, and went on shredding another booth. 

"Chica, hold still, I want to draw you!" Scarlet's always drawing someone.

Over by the counter, the waitresses God and Denise were chattering with Chloe--the resident serial killer and multiple felon--and The Succubus.

"I've got Mama Zen's," said Denise.

"Chick's hot!" sighed Chloe. "Hey," she said, turning to the Succubus, "you ever get into her dreams?"

"Nope," replied the Succubus, her eyes hidden behind big dark glasses. "I can't get past the buffalo blanket and the dog."

Chloe put on a mock pout. "Poooor Suk-oo-buss!"

"Oh shut the fuck up," muttered the Succubus mildly. It was morning, and she was feeling mellow after a long night of stealing souls.

Meanwhile, the kitten Giuseppe Verdi was rolling around on a tabletop with Stripey, a customer's cat, much to the amusement of Savanna, the teenage runaway.

The Succubus moved smoothly across the room, after perfunctorily flipping off Chloe, and sat down dramatically at a table next to a woman wearing nearly identical sunglasses. "Sara...you're so diviiiiiiiiiiiiine!" They looked like twins.

Behind them, a woman was leaning out of the doorway, screeching at some kids. "Get off my sidewalk!" She turned around and sat back down. "I'm never going to finish this poem!"

"What is it about?" Chloe asked Hedgewitch, for it was none other. 

"Well...it's about an incubus who shows up on a brush hog and seduces a girl who has three heads and twelve arms. Here, read it..."

Chloe read it as the denizens of Danny's swirled around her.

"Do you think it's too sweetsy cutesy? I could put some bats in it..."

Chloe shook her head. "It's perfect."

"Are you sure my mother in law will be turned into a toad?" asked Lolamouse anxiously, peering into the pouch she'd just been given by Denise. 

"She's as good as green."

Just then, a streaking black blur flew through the air and into a booth. It was the QOTV, who had just spotted the Dark Haired Chick. She landed with a happy thump and toppled them both over backwards where they disappeared into the seat. 

"Get offa me, you crazy spaz!" said the DHC, but she was laughing.

"Shhh! Everybody!" It was Chloe. She had moved over by the window, which had been designed by Ellen, and was intent upon something out in the street. "Silent treatment!"

The little bell over the door rang and the mail lady walked in. You could hear a pin drop. Nobody looked up.

"Wow, what's wrong with you guys?" she asked as she dumped a bunch of crap on the counter. "Here's your mail!"

The Succubus blew a smoke ring. Chloe examined a fingernail. God and Denise filled the napkin holders without looking up. 

"Okay then...er...bye!" But before she could get out the door, everybody yelled, 

"Happy one thousandth post, Shay!!!!"

"Aw shucks, you guys!"

Then a single voice rose above the others. 

"My Redbook! It finally came!"

Who knows what wonders may occur at Danny's Coffee Shop in the next one thousand posts???

Giuseppe Verdi At Large

Some dweeb holds open the door to Danny's Coffee Shop too long,
And the kitten Giuseppe Verdi is loosed upon the world.
Bounce
Bounce
Pounce
Pounce
Bounce
Pounce
Pounce.
"Come back here, you little shit!" shouts Chloe the cute blonde serial murderer,
And takes off after him as fast as her cross-trainers can carry her.

Meanwhile,
The Queen Of The Vampires, in panther form,
Has her great fearsome paws stuck up in the air
As if she were a Saturday morning cartoon character.
Her head is up against the Dark-Haired Chick
And they are both in a booth,
Joined at the hip as usual.

The Dark-Haired Chick says to the Succubus,
"Tell me what she's dreaming."
The Succubus squints,
Then tells her,
"She is dreaming that she is with you, in your kitchen.
She is dreaming that she is right side up, wearing red socks,
And that whenever she looks at you,
She feels as if she were riding in a gypsy wagon
Swaying in the wind."
Anything else?
"Yes. She wonders why the floor feels so light, like skating on chocolate."
With that, the QOTV's toes twitch;
The Dark-Haired Chick gives her dark-haired head a little shake
And her lips turn up at the corners.

Chloe comes breezing back in with the kitten Giuseppe Verdi in her arms.
"Bad boy. Baaaad boy!" she croons.
Danny's is just full of remarkable creatures
And the killer chicks who love them.

_________

Come Back, Little Sheba

A black panther sits concealed in the branches of a tree, watching for potential victims.

Game, in herds and small groups, passes below.

The panther is a killing machine, and to catch her eye can mean instant death,

But her feet dangle in empty air,

And her eyes are staring at nothing, unfocused and ditzy.


"Why is the QOTV up in the crab apple tree?" asks Chloe, setting down her Rolling Stone and craning her neck to see out the window of Danny's Coffee Shop.

"She looks stoned or something."


"She's moping," says Denise the waitress. "The Dark Haired Chick is out of town and she can't deal."

"Well, where'd she go? Peru?"

"Pawtucket, I think," says Denise.

The Succubus, sitting nearby wearing dark glasses indoors at ten in the morning, mumbles, "Wasn't it Punxatawney?"

"I heard Port-Au-Prince," says Savanna the resident juvenile delinquent.


Chloe bites her lip, still looking up. Then she strides out the door and the little bell jingles as she hits the sidewalk.

Stopping underneath the tree, she pitches a stale chocolate chip muffin at the Queen Of The Vampires.

Bullseye.

"Snap out of it!" she advises, stamping her foot and giving the QOTV the hairy eyeball.


The QOTV shifts a little on her branch, makes a few annoyed kitty noises, but remains a torpid cartoon of a jungle cat.

"She'll be back!" yells Chloe the serial killer, spreading her arms. Seeing it is hopeless, she goes back inside.

She gives God the waitress a sideways look.

"Seems like you could do something," she snipes.

"Like what?" asks God serenely, while filling the holders with sugar packets.

"Well," says Chloe, crossing her arms, "you could move Pawtucket closer to here!"


"Punxatawney," murmurs the Succubus.


"Port-Au-Prince," corrects Savanna, drawing on the table with her knife.


"Oh for chrissake," groans Chloe, but at a sharp look from God, she adds, "Sorry," then giggles.


Eventually, the Queen of The Vampires does leap down and dispatch a Jehovah's Witness, leaving only a few pamphlets strewn across the sidewalk.

On one of them, is a picture of a lamb in Jesus's arms.


A minute later, the shape-shifted QOTV walks inside of Danny's. "Baaaa," she says, tilting up her black and white lamb face at God.

It is a rare and fine thing when anyone can make God snort.

"Get out of here, you lunatic!" God swipes a foot at the QOTV, who shape-shifts again, back to a panther, and jumps up into one of the booths, which she promptly shreds with her fearsome claws before settling down.


She curls into a ball.


She sighs.


The Dark-Haired Chick cannot get back too soon.

________

Dove Black Sky

Note: in my April 9th post, "Dust", the Queen Of The Vampires was gravely injured by a vampire hunter. Her story continues here.

To be a cat in a poppy field

Is not such a bad thing.

(No matter that it is a hallucination.

No matter that a vampire hunter's attack has put her there, teetering...)



Rasputin sits with the Queen Of The Vampires, who lies still amid the red blooms in her favorite illusionary black panther form.

His tunic is dirty and frayed.

A Russian cross sits on his chest, suspended from a leather thong,

Like God's emblem in a stirrup.



"немного один" he whispers, cradling her soft ear in his giant hand. "Little One."

His love is like a warm samovar--

Utilitarian.

Indispensable.



The vampire hunter is dead,

Flat as a pancake in a Target parking lot.

Some saw a large vehicle,

A woman,

A lightning strike from a blue sky.

Others report the miracle of black doves,

Carrying tiny bells in their feet,

Rising.



You might find it strange that a staretz--

A wandering holy man, and long-dead besides--

Should treat a Vampire Queen so tenderly.

Well,

They both know what it means to be lost.

They both know that church spires, whether onion-domed or not,

Rise up like smoke above the sinful world.



The Queen Of The Vampires opens her eyes.

Her head, her ebony-haired human head, is resting on the Dark Haired Chick's thigh

In a pristine, untorn booth

At Danny's Coffee Shop.



She is looking down at the Dark Haired Chick's boot.

There is grit on the heel,

As if from a newly-resurfaced chain store space.

The QOTV's lips curl in a smile,

Imagining her sitting, waiting, watching the rear view mirror and making up fabulously creative--

And shockingly obscene--

Pet names for the people honking at her, coveting her spot.



Now the QOTV will recover.

Now she will remember,

She is Queen and all her powers will return;

But she will carry Rasputin in her heart,

And the poppies,

As well as a new white streak in her hair

Like an opium dream

In a dove black sky.

_________

for One Shoot Sunday. 

top photograph by Fee Easton

Dark Angels

The Queen Of The Vampires, in black panther form,

Sits on the damp sidewalk outside Danny's Coffee Shop.

She turns her golden eyes up to the night sky, as deep and as black as she is.



High above,

Snowflakes form and fall,

Like dark angels

With frozen skins.

She bats at them for a while, then lets them cover her,

One

By one,

By three,

By hundreds,

Until she is her own Van Gogh Starry Night

Lit by headlights

And the glow from Danny's behind her.



In time,

Because she is a cat,

She will go inside--

Clearly,

Regally,

Offended.

Tonight, she will lie down in the front window,

Showing her tail to the warm lit room,

And her sorrow to the stop light

And the passing hours.



Sleep, that tender killer, covers her,

And she finds the one forbidden her

In a made-up dream even vampires need

When the shadows have called

And hidden her.

_______

for One Shot Wednesday #34

Giuseppe Verdi, Victorious

Tanya quits the chain coffee shop;

Just gives 'em the yo heave ho, collects Giuseppe Verdi the kitten, and walks out,

Strutting like Catherine the Great, or Lady Gaga or somebody.



She finds God.

God is head waitress at Danny's Coffee Shop.

She makes killer menu boards,

And does all the hiring.

In no time, Tanya fits in like Portia de Rossi does on Ellen's arm,

And Giuseppe Verdi is merrily attacking the resident black panther,

Who outweighs him by about umpty-zillion to one.



Giuseppe Verdi bats at the panther,

Who is,

Of course,

The shape-shifted Queen of the Vampires,

And down she goes like a ton of bricks.

She lays on the floor with her paws in the air and her tongue hanging out the side of her mouth;

If she could make her eyes into X's, she would.

Chloe scoops up the victorious kitten, kisses him and sets him inside an empty sugar bowl,

Which promptly falls over.



Some chick catches it before it falls off the table.

She is here for open mic night.

Her name is Coal Black, and her big hit is called "Sugar Shock Of Love."

She doesn't do drugs anymore.

Her hair is all weird.

She wears so much mascara that she looks like an electrocuted raccoon.



The Queen of the Vampires, still in panther form, is sitting with her favorite, the Dark-Haired Chick.

When Coal Black straps on her guitar, checks the amps, and starts in with the first notes of "I Love Rock 'n' Roll",

The QOTV drags the reluctant Dark-Haired Chick up to the stage by her jacket sleeve,

Pulling her backwards with her teeth.

Being dragged anyplace by a black panther is very persuasive stuff.



Coal Black and the Dark-Haired Chick share a mic and scream Coal Black's newest song, "Buzz Saw My Heart" together.

Sing.

I meant sing.



Giuseppe Verdi sits on the QOTV's head, watching with his big amazed eyes.

Tanya rakes in the tips.

Savanna still has a knife in her boot.

It's another spifftastic night at Danny's Coffee Shop.

__________

picture: Crystal Renn

Satisfaction

The Queen of the Vampires slips between buildings in the night--

She glides like a dark idea you won't admit to...

She is hungry

She is not exactly human

She is there, in the shadows, waiting.



The stars over Norman are exactly seven more than normal--

They are scattered like bubbles in the blood upon seeing one's beloved,

They can stop a heart

Or start one.

The QOTV is a needful girl tonight,

Her nature demanding,

Yet completely familiar,

Like a pet that bites.



Here comes someone.

Here comes someone down the sidewalk, like a drop of blood down the skin of a throat...

Here comes a warm living soul.

Jackpot.



The QOTV feels each muscle tense and relax in the ancient dance--

She feels half primed already, just from anticipation.

The walker draws close, like an omen of the end time,

And the QOTV steps out from her place of concealment,

A smooth soft blur;

She is on her like her next breath,

For the walker is definitely female.



The QOTV goes for the throat,

Bitch to her natural desires, unthinking, an embodied rush of need.

The woman laughs,

Then doesn't,

As they sway into a corner together.

"Baby," she manages between kisses.

The QOTV only makes purring sounds that say,

"I missed you

Only you

Out of this whole goddam world."

Blood can be gotten elsewhere, from anyone--

Right now, the QOTV is all about the Dark-Haired Chick, for that is who it is;

And who is the prey,

And where solid ground has gone

Is anybody's guess.

_______

for One Shot Wednesday