Dr. Bigelow's Field Observations On The Weaker Sex

1. Best lured with chili cheesy fries, beer.

2. Most experience five day cycle of activity, followed by two of inertia.

3. A few reverse this pattern, and are themselves observed by the first group.

4. All emotions are expressed by punching each other's arms.

5. Preoccupied with own tails, on front.

6. Vocal cords in good working order.

7. Apparently deaf.

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