The Girl Gunfighter

The girl gunfighter was
The best in the west.
Earp and Holiday always called her "Ma'am",
Tipped their hats,
And hurried past.

The girl gunfighter pulled
Her Stetson low against the sun,
With half a mind to call it out
And shoot it just for fun.

What she did was
Drill a lot of hombres in the hand.
A lot of tough old gunslingers ended up
In the Silver Dollar with fucked up mitts,
Having to have a saloon girl cut their steak for them.

The girl gunslinger would say,
"Hey, catch!" and toss a frog at them
Just to watch them jump;
Then she'd grin around a piece of straw.

The girl gunslinger knew
Annie Oakley, "Little Sure Shot."
Annie put the jingle in her spurs.
Annie put the "yay" in her yippee ki yay.

The girl gunslinger liked
To shoot some dude square in the hand,
And before his Colt dropped to the dust,
She'd wink at Annie and grin.

The girl gunslinger cried
The day that Annie left town with some guy named Frank.
And after that,
She couldn't hit the broad side of a barn.

If whiskey didn't taste so like shit,
She'd have drowned herself in it.
And all those guys with the messed up mitts
Started beating her up with their one good hand.

The girl gunslinger got
Shot full of holes
And filled full of lead
Til she was done and she was dead.

The girl gunslinger is
Buried on Boot Hill,
And though the owl hoots and the coyote howls,
Her spurs are quiet and still.
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